You mamas so ugly when she was born, the doctor slapped he mother

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Dictionary For Womens Personal Ads

40ish............................................. .49
Adventurous....................................... .Slept with all your mates
Athletic.......................................... .No Tits
Average looking....................................Has a face like an arse
Beautiful......................................... .Pathological liar
Contagious smile...................................Does a lot of pills

yo mamas so old when she was in school there was no history

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

I understand it! :bored:
Girls have calculators too!

Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen

yo mamas so old she owes Jesus a fiver

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning yet

After biting from the apple, Adam felt shame and covered himself with a fig leaf.

Eve too felt shame, and covered herself with a fig leaf.

Then she went back behind the bush to try on a maple leaf, an oak, and three varieties of sycamore.

http://funmeme.com/image.axd?picture=RightsLOL.jpg

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What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?
You hit her.

A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes already been told twice.

A woman is like a pack of cards:

You need a Heart to love her,

You need a Diamond to win her,

You need a Club to smash her head in,

And a Spade to bury the bitch.

you mamas so fat everytime she turns around it's her birthday

Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Life's A Bitch, Then You Marry One, Then You Die

Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

Women don't like to hear men's opinions, they just like to hear their own opinions in a deeper voice.

Why is rape so rare?

because women with their skirts over their heads run faster than men with their pants around their ankles

You know your boyfriend is in love with you when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Why do people make snow men instead of snow women?

Because it takes too long to hollow out the head.

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Jill: You remind me of the sea.
Jack: Because I'm wild, unpredictable and romantic?
Jill: No, because you make me sick.