Opens up door and finds Scabby has left the building - turfed out by the nightshift staff with the words, "No squatting here luv".

Babycakes has prepped everything for the arrival of a new day, even down to filling the table vases with rosemary and lavender cuttings from the garden, leaving me only to refill the coffee pots, she's a wee smasher. :blush:

Grabs a Benoffee Coffee, takes a seat by the window and sits back to await the rest of the world awaking on this lovely fresh Autumn Sunday morning.

:blush:

Pyramid's Benoffee Coffee bliss is shattered when she hears a loud crunch and crash, and sees that Alison has stood on one of the tables, and leaping up and down in ecstacy at being chosen for 'I'm a Celeb', but has broken the table and is now in a heap on the coffee shop floor, legs akimbo and smashed crockey, a vase, Flowers, Coffee, and Almond fingers all around :o 'That, young lady, is going to need paying for said Pyramid', not in the slightest bit amused. Pyramid gets a dustpan and brush, and mop and bucket, and hands them to Alison to clean the mess up.

Alison departs the cafe, having told the owners that there was no way that she could clean up her mess, as she had to interview Javier Bardem & Penelope Cruz on This Morning and was far too important to indulge in domestic duties; she was not your common or garden ex BB housemate you know, she was TV talent.

As her departing car pulled away from the Cafe, Suze lobbed the last of the Almond Cake at the vehicle. "Good riddance" she giggled, although the others were not sure if it was the bitter sponge or the former BB FM that she referred to. However Anthony Hutton, who was disco dancing in the corner, took this as a signal to start a food fight.

*swings door open*

Morning peeps, freezing out there, can I have a cappucino with a choccie muffin please.

Mario enters the cafe, stark bollock naked and does a silly dance around the room. Sadly no one pays him an ounce of attention and he throws a massive strop about how hard he worked to get into the cafe... diddums!

*Screams at top of voice... NOOOOOOO NAKED MARIO-NESS*:nono::nono:

Calms down and joins Gemm for a nice relaxing choccie treat and a coffee.

Between that Alison one, food fights and now this.... thinks to self that place is going to the dogs, must speak to Babycakes about restricting the clientele.

Just as that, a familiar figure swishes past the window.... OOHHHH.... I'm sure, absolutely sure I saw a quiff there, the door opens, and yeah, it's Ben!!:elephant::elephant:


Gets buckets and pails filled with water in readiness for Voddy!

How about this for a Christmas cake???????????


A Christmas Cake

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 1 bottle Brandy
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the brandy to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the brandy again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the brandy is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the brandy. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the brandy and wipe counter with the cat.

Bingle Jells!

"Hello ladies, I just popped in for a morsel of bebegateaux" Ben purred in his velvety tones. :hugesmile::hugesmile::hugesmile:

Voddy races towards Ben whilst accidently :whistle: pushing other customers out the way and does a Gillian McKeith faint into Ben's arms, whilst accidently on purpose flicking her right hand through his quiff. But Ben misses her whilst sorting his quiff, and Voddy falls to the floor. Pyramid quickly chucks a cup of cold water over Voddy.

:joker::joker::joker::joker:

I quickly jump to my feet, take a hold of Ben, kiss him passionately before yelling, "WILL YOU MARRY ME BEN???" ;)

ben looks at vodka for a few seconds and asks 'are you vodka drinker?' to which she replies yes i am.Ben then says 'well then of course i will marry you' :hugesmile:

Takes note that Ben has been making mention that he and Vodka Drinker can get married in Indonesia, and puts plans together for the same ceremony that Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall chose to marry ..... you know, that same one that was annulled as it wasn't quite 'legal'.

*Does pirouettes around the Coffee Shoppe and applies for British Marriage License for Pyramid* and Benjamin* :devil:

BabyCakes was making a few changes to the menu, as some stuff sold better than others. The Almond Cake was a disaster, and had been discontinued, as were the Garibaldis, whilst the BenOffee Pie especially, was a raging success. Babycakes and Pyramid had also decided to stick to the well loved biscuits and cakes, but with added touches as many were baked on the premises and so with a new twist on the names of some, trying to incorporate a BB touch to the food and drinks :)

Sunshine had brought out her own range of crisps and allowed a discount to BabyCakes for promoting them in the Coffee shop. They went down a treat :)There were a little sachet of rice paper letters in each, so a shortened version of names could be added to the outside of the packet which was also edible if the buyer wanted to enjoy the packaging as well, so no waste, enviromentally friendly thus :)

Having been closed for a week to have an intruder alarm installed, the coffee shop is back open for business.

We have speed dating planned for tonight; hmm, I wonder who will turn up ?

Thank goodness, in all this cold weather its been a bit of a nightmare having no familiar cosy little cafe to pop in for a warming hot chocolate. I see the bitter Almond cake is now off the Menu, but the Benoffe cake looks scrummy, yum.
Think I will get myself a good seat for the speed dating tonight, should be a laugh, though I am hoping for a strict dress code, no flashers or nakedness allowed I hope, just plain turns my stomach seeing all that horrid flesh.
Of course, those that one would not mind seeing a little bit more of are the ones who have a little pride and dignity..........why oh why is it always the pale pasty ugly ones have the need to display their wares.

Anyhow, here hoping Ben pops in for a winter warmup.:elephant::elephant::elephant:

No naked testiticularness :joker::joker::joker:

Sorry it was closed so long. The alarm kept sounding for no reason. We finally concluded that it didn't like the cool aura congregated in the corner. Set the alarm off time and time again.

I've made gluwein and stollen cake for tonight, and fondue for the daters to share. I thought it had a wintery Swiss theme, and Ben might find that appealing.

With his James Bond heritage, Ben was exceedingly happy at the menu for tonights speed dating. The only thing missing he felt was a christmas pudding martini - shaken not stirred.

Jade Goody waltzes in and calls Ben a 'posh wanka' before collapsing in the corner with a bottle of Ouzo.

Ben returned from Waitrose with a bag of all the necessary ingredients to male Christmas Pudding Martini's, so Truth Teller and Pyramis huddled over the list of participants and tried to sort out a suitable schedule for the dates.

Chantelle and Preston ? Ziggy and Chanelle ? Jen and Dale ? Paul and Helen ? Oh dear, the possibilities for friction looked worryingly high.

At that moment, Sree burst into the room, demanding to know if Noirin had put her name down for a date. Following hot on his heels was Marcus, the Irrepressible Dark Horse who elbowed Sree out of the way and demanded that his name was matched to Noirin's first.

Ben watched it all with amused nonchalance.

BB4's Gos comes in, looks at Jade in the corner and begins teabagging her like an oompa-loompa.

"Oi! You fat slag!" she chokes inbetween mouthfuls, before slipping on a puddle of her own urine. She reaches for her mobile phone and calls up her mum Jackiey, screeching "save me you money-grabbing cow!" down the phone.

Jackiey runs in 'Sorry I'm late I was to busy selling your life support machine down the pawnshop. GET OFF MY BANK YOU SLAG' She swings for Gos.

Oh dear, seems that we are going to have to hire some security, word has got around about tonights speed dating and seems to have attracted a few undesirables.
Now then who shall we hire to get rid of the Riff Raff.......................

Suddenley, the door bursts open. It's Jackiey looking angrier than ever, with her sidekicks Billi Bhatti and Hira Whateverthe****hernameis. She stares down at the urine soaked mess still getting teabagged.

"I'm so disapointed in you, Jade"

"YOU'RE DISAPOINTED, I'M NOT THE ONE HANGING OUT WITH A PAIR OF POPPADO-"

Billi interrupted before she could finish.
"At least I CAN WHIP MY HAIR BACK N FORTH I WHIP MA HAIR BACK N FORTH"

A bald Jade, begins crying.

The owners of the cafe are delighted that such colourful new patrons have arrived, but are a little concerned that the till is at risk, and the general unattractiveness of the new customers might put off the speed daters due to arrive any minute :joker:

Such drama had not been seen at the cafe since the day that Ife did a dump on one of the tables :spin::spin::spin: