Outrageous!

cover your ears, my woolly little friends.

http://smileys.on-my-web.com/reposit...ng/lol-022.gif

http://smileys.on-my-web.com/reposit...ng/lol-026.gif

next instalment to be posted tomorrow :)

Act 5:Scene 1

NARRATOR: The Kings are in the Palace, counting their money while playing a card game and drinking Skittles Vodka. The Angels arrive and enter the room.

KING ANTONIUS: Wey hey, Women!

KING AARONIUS: Hello Poppets, to what do we owe the pleasure?

FAITH: We are here on an errand from God, he has asked us to tell you of the miraculous birth of his son this very night. You are to journey to Bethlehem to see him, and honour him with gifts. Follow the Star, she will guide you.

KING VICTORIUS: Right, what did we do with the Argos Catalogue, is it late night shopping tonight?

BLISS: No, No. You must take very special gifts, this child is very important.

KING AARONIUS: Never fear beautiful, we will make sure he gets the very best.

MERCY: Well, we must go, we have to get back for the party. Are you going to be there later, stud muffin?

NARRATOR: Mercy flutters her eyelashes at Aaronius.

KING AARONIUS: Sure will sweetcheeks, shall be there right after we've seen the sprog.

KING VICTORIUS (to Faith) Rip up your dance card baby, and save yourself for me.

FAITH: If you're lucky, I might consider it.

BLISS: Enough Flirting. Let's go.

Act 5:Scene 2
 

Act 5:Scene 2

NARRATOR: The Wisemen are on their way home after Bible Class. The Star is shining more brightly than ever.

ALVIN: So, I see my vision has come true. I dreamt we would see a beautiful Star tonight and we would follow it to a stable and pay homage to the newly born Son of God.

SIMON: Oh, Alvin. How wonderfully spiffing. What are we waiting for, let's go East!

THEODORE: Aw. look how pretty the Star is, I adore her, I have never seen a more beautiful vision. I am inspired to a poem.

"Hey little Star, up in the sky
twinkling away as time passes by
you look so cheerful and so merry
I bet you've been at the cooking sherry!"

SIMON and ALVIN: Come on Theo, let's get moving.

Act 6:Scene 1

NARRATOR: Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus Smith are in the stable.

MARY: Joseph, how lucky we are. Look at the beautiful baby boy we have been blessed with.

JOSEPH: We will raise him to be a fine young man.

BABY JESUS: GOO GOO, GA GA, GA GAAAAAAAAA! (That's what you think. I am going to rebel, bleach my hair and work as a Gaga tribute act. Gaga rocks.)

NARRATOR: The stable door opens and in come the Shepherds, closely followed by the Sheep.

SHEEP: Baaaaaa.

SHEPHERD 1: Aaw, look at the lickle wickle cutesie baby.

BABY JESUS: Coooooo. (Feck off).

SHEPHERD 2: He's quite wrinkly isn't he?

SHEPHERD 3: Congratulations Mary, he's got his dad's cheeks.

MARY: You had better mean the ones on his face!

SHEPHERD 4: Bless his little cotton socks, let's sing him a lullaby.

NARRATOR: The Shepherds and Sheep gather round the crib and begin to sing.

"Away in a manger (Baa)
No crib for a bed (Baa)
the little Lord Smithy (Baa)
laid down his sweet head. (BAAAAAAA!)

The Star in the bright sky (Baa)
Looked down where he lay (Baa)
The little Lord Smithy (Baa)
Asleep in the hay. (BAAAAAA!)

Act 6:Scene 2

NARRATOR: The Kings arrive, bearing gifts.

KING ANTONIUS: We have arrived, bearing gifts.

KING AARONIUS: From the Argos catalogue.

KING VICTORIUS: £500 WE SPENT!! £500!! :o

ALL KINGS: We're not shady!

MARY: Why, thank you so much.....Have you kept the receipts?

JOSEPH: MARY!!!! :shocked:

MARY: TSK. No harm in asking, they don't give a flying feck anyway, they are rich and powerful Kings.

KING ANTONIUS: Open them, OPEN THEM!

KING AARONIUS: Crikey Antonius old chap, you're very excitable lately.

KING VICTORIUS: He's been frisky ever since he met those fairies.

MARY: Fairies?! :suspect: Where? :amazed:

KING VICTORIUS: Oh no, not Fairies. Angels, that's what they were.

KING AARONIUS: I suspect he has a soft spot for that Mercy one, he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

NARRATOR: The Kings burst into song.



KING ANTONIUS: I was looking at that little rat like dog that follows her around, think it's called Pissholes or sommat.

NARRATOR: The Kings sing another "classic"

Act 6:Scene 3

NARRATOR: The Wise Men arrive.

MARY: Oh no! Not more people! It's getting fat too crowded in here, and Smithy needs a bottle.

JOSEPH: Oh hai people. Gonna have to ask you all to leave. Too many people and sheep in a stable. Not great from a Health and Safety point of view.

NARRATOR: Local Lothario and Council Official Mario MunchButt walks in with a clipboard.

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...5x2O0DSsATPrAe

MARIO: Who took my Hard Hat? :suspect:

JOSEPH: Could you all leave now please, but I would like to invite everyone to a proper Celebration Party at our house in Nazareth, in two nights time. Bring lots of food and drink and let's do it in style.

NARRATOR: Everyone claps, whoops and cheers.

Act 7:The Final Act will be posted tomorrow. Watch out for Piddles, he is going to get his revenge for the King's comments :D :D

:laugh2:

This is amazing Kate, looking forward to seeing Piddles getting his revenge for that awful remark.

Is it just me or is interest in this waning just a little.......:conf:

thanks Pyramid. Way to make me feel good. Lol. Just kidding.
There have only ever been a few people actively following it and commenting, though its view figures are reasonable. I don't mind really, if I entertain a handful of people with it, that is good enough for me. The comments I have had, have been lovely. Keep meaning to put in that picture you posted Pyramid, that was great. :) Made me chuckle.

Hey.....kidding or not: blame those who were scrambling to get a part and who can't be bothered to acknowledge it. Don't take it out on me!

Omg. I cannot do anything right on here at the moment. I dont understand why you are taking offence.

1 I was joking, trying to be lighthearted.

2 I am not blaming anyone for anything, I just said I am happy with the positive comments I have got. I cant make people read it, if they want to they will. I sense you are irritated and dont know why? Sorry, but I feel like I am treading on eggshells all the time atm. Are you annoyed that people aren't reading this? Or at me?

3 I am not taking anything out on you? Puzzled? What on earth has given you that idea.

Ok let's not argue in here please, I don't think Kate was taking anything out on you Pyramid, she said herself that she was only kidding

No argument here: as clearly denoted by the 'kidding or not'.

The point Kate was more that the thread appears to have died somewhat with only one or two others posting any acknowledgement on it in 12 days.

I'm certainly not irritated - I am however puzzled somewhat as to why - given that so many were jousting to take part. :conf: Hence the same :conf: being used in my original comment earlier.

Final part will be posted tomorrow, I enjoyed writing it, the last scene will be very musical. :)

Oooh wise decision, Joseph is has an adorable singing voice ;).

it was rather - shame that when I did actually put it on this very thread quite some time ago - bringing gifts for baby jesus - that it was deleted IIRC . :hugesmile:

I'm still here

Sends a big hug to Sticks

I never even saw it posted in here Pyra? wonder why it was deleted. Anyway Merry Christmas eve's eve's eve. lol. :D

Act 7: The Finale

NARRATOR: Everyone is gathered at the home of Mary and Joseph. There is plenty of food and wine. The Sheep and Lady Lee are in the garden smoking (!!)

MARY: Joseph? What time did God and the Holy Spirit say they'd be here. They promised to bring their Karaoke machine.

JOSEPH: They just arrived, setting up now. Wooohoooh!

HOLY SPIRIT: HEY, IS THIS THING ON!!! oh, I see it is. TEE HEE! Right lads and lasses, get your requests in now. I want to see you all up here at some point tonight, no excuses.

NARRATOR: Baby Jesus Smith is upstairs in his crib fast asleep. The Angels have soundproofed his room so the party noise doesn't disturb him. He is in the middle of yet another pleasant dream about the blonde lady singer. He smiles in his sleep. Downstairs the party is in full swing, Mary's sister Petula has just arrived.

PETULA: I love the food Mary, gorgeous spread.

MARY: Yes, I nipped out to Iceland (other supermarkets are available) on Lady Lee this morning and bought up all the party food, and they delivered it as well.

PETULA: Smashing! Now, I must put my name down for that Karaoke.....

*************************************************

HOLY SPIRIT: First up, singing one of his favourites with his friend who is visiting for Christmas...it's the one and only God himself (no not you Benji, you are Mary, luvvie) and Mr Jam Butty from Lemon Tree Land. Yay!



HOLY SPIRIT: Next.... Me!!! Yes, I, the Holy Spirit will be performing a very tasteful number.



HS: Come on Joseph, let's see you shake your stuff......



HS: here's a Madonna classic performed by Mary, how appropriate ;)



HS: Beautiful Petula, it's your turn baby!





HS: Time for some vocals from the three Kings.....





[YT]qJos0ifG7T0[YT]

HS: A three in one treat from the Kings there. They were magnificent. I have someone here who would like to say a few words.....

NARRATOR: Angel Mercy and Piddles take the "stage".

MERCY: This is my dog, Piddles.....not Pissholes!!!! He would just like to say that we have just been over to the Kings Palace and Piddles has left a lovely present for you all in your slippers. Still, I am sure you can afford new ones.:D

KINGS: :hmph::rolleyes:

MERCY: :joker::joker:

HS: OKAAAAY, and back to the music....Next we have our lovely hosts, Mary and Joseph performing a duet......

[YT]NrAwK9juhhY/[YT]

HS: Wisemen....do your thang!







HS: Bloody marvellous. Next it's the Shepherds.....







HS: All the way from Bethlehem, Miss Amelia Lily - Innkeeper extraordinaire.



HS: awesome, and now Rosie Lily, Amelia's daughter.....



HS: Party people, please welcome to the "stage"....The Sheep!!!



HS: Spiffing....Lady Lee, give us a tune.....



HS: Well, I've certainly never seen anything like that before!! :o ..... Give a very warm welcome everyone, it's the Angels...









HS: Aw, lovely stuff Angels :love: Now we have a very special song to finish with, this party wouldn't be taking place if it weren't for her helping everyone be where they should be for the Birth of Smithy Smith, the little cherub. A massive round of applause please....it's your Christmas Star....:cheer:





[YT][UrIiLvg58SY&ob=av2e/YT]





HS: Give me the microphone, give it to me....that was fabulous darling, but we all have homes to go to. Everyone, come here and take a bow....Amazing Stuff.....

NARRATOR: The Holy Spirit wipes away a tear and takes a bow with everyone else. Merry Christmas Everyone, and A Happy New Year :love:

END!!!!

Actually not quite the end........

Fast forward 15 years, Baby Jesus Smithy Smith is at the Locke Inn taking part in a karaoke night.

Here is his performance.......



Audience reaction:thumbs::thumbs::flower::love::banana::flo wers::flowers::cheer2:

Haha...I love my song Kate, how clever.....You've done really well to write this at such a hectic time....well done!!!!!
Have a lovely Christmas

Aw thanks Ammi :)

Tried to tailor the songs to the "actors" as much as possible hence why I did the What would you sing on Karaoke thread ;)

Merry Christmas x