It’s so comforting to know there are so many straight experts on what it’s like to come out on here.

Thats correct. I dont feel the need to hurt her like that when I dont need to

I don't know if I'm included in that comment but I'm simply looking at it from the wife's perspective :shrug: Or are straight people not supposed to have feelings?

*If she did know about it then that's a different story obviously

I’m not attracted to women, but if there was someone I had a deep connection with that was a female, I wouldn’t rule out them being my life partner, it’s not all about being sexually attracted to someone imo

But you have no reason to act on it if you're in a happy marriage , that would be having an affair :conf: . Or do you mean if you broke up ? .

But I'm surprised your wife doesn't know, but that's your choice .

I've got another one.

Phil has come out of the broom cupboard.

I’m so thin

I feel bad for being quite judgemental and critical towards him—not knowing what he has been going through. Major respect to the guy for being open about this.

Stop lying in a thread about honesty

Sounds like his wife knew for a while and was fully supportive, he might be a horror to other people but by the sounds of it, he’s been a wonderful husband and father and provided them all with a wonderful life and Steph herself seems like a great, understanding woman

Of course but normally people get into relationships and are sexually attracted to each other, if the other person knows that's off the table or you're just going through the motions for their benefit then that's fine but not making your partner aware that that is the case is deceitful and hurtful

Good for him for coming to terms with it all. He's still a wanker.

Gordon the gopher my story.....

Nothing wrong with that.

I was driving and turned on the radio half way through a show where they were talking about closeted gays and then Phil was mentioned I nearly totalled my car :fist:

Good on him I suppose, I wonder if there is a story about to break, wasn't there a rumour about a huge household name being gay a while back?

I don't know why he stuck with his wife for 27 years though, her best years are now behind her and his are just beginning it seems? If she was happy to do it all well and good I guess, I just keep seeing them on that best buys show he does at Christmas all married up?

It kind of is.. we all have an itch to scratch if your partner is unaware that need is being fulfilled somewhere else then that's decitful.

Secrets in a marriage is ok then ?

Well its not ideal but in such a case its what they don't know won't hurt them.

Sexuality is complicated, I was once attracted to women, I imagine the majority of gay people were at one time, attracted to the opposite sex, sexuality develops, yes, some people get into straight relationships out of shame to hide their secret, but a lot of people take time to realise who they are, it doesn’t mean he’s done it to purposely mislead her, it’s not black and white with these situations, yes she might have had a shock when she was told, but on the other hand she could have always suspected and was happy to live with it, they clearly had a sexual relationship.

I always find it gross when there’s a story about a gay person, most of the time it always end up coming back around to ‘aww, but what about straight people?’

but surely there should be equal empathy for both, it's not a competition? that said he is the one who has changed the status of their relationship so why shouldn't people feel empathy for her?

How on earth would he get an erection with his wife if he isn't attracted to women?

Maybe he has a fantasy life.

An ignorant comment like this can be extremely damaging, Arista. Well done.

Everyone is different, and feel comfortable to 'come out' at different points in their life. There is no time limit.

I think we should be commending his brave decision and not spinning a negative on it by criticising his timing.

I'm not saying "aww what about the straight people" I'm identifying with the women in the couple because I am straight and married and thinking how devastated I would be if that happened to me. I don't know if you're straight or gay Liam but if you're gay maybe that's why you would identify more with Philip?

Also, it's not feeling sorry for her because she's straight, it's feeling sorry for her because she was the one who has been lied to ....

*again unless she did actually know all along which is completely different obviously

This is how I feel too, nobody wants to feel your marriage has been a sham... if you love someone how could you do that to them?