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TiBBOaks - Episode Three
Opening Sequence:
"The Garden" by Take That is playing. We see Firewire on a hospital bed, with BigSister resting her head on his chest, asleep but with bleary eyes from obvious crying. We cut to Princess changing her phone's screensaver to the album cover of The Circus, and she stares at a reflection of herself as the cymbals bang in the song. She walks out of her room. We then cut to Fom adjusting a black tie in a mirror. He turns around as someone enters the room he is in, which turns out to be his lounge. Music fades.

Scene One - Fom's house. A man walks in.
Ghettosuperstar: Bruv, hurry it up yeah?
Fom: Excuse me for wanting to look the part for Dad.
Ghettosuperstar: Look, I know it's awful and all...but think of the inheritance!
Fom: You have no shame whatsoever, do you?
GhettoSuperstar: I know. And it's fabulous, innit?
Fom puts on some cufflinks and walks outside with his brother, stepping into a funeral car motionless behind a hearse bearing coffin and floral tributes spelling "DAD".

Scene Two - Mrluvaluva's apartment. He's listening to the radio and trying to get his toaster to work properly. He hits it in frustration and calls out.
Mrluvaluva: Can someone PLEASE fix this bloody thing!
A woman emerges from another room and looks at him in despair. She has a towel wrapped around her hair and she plugs in the toaster.
lili: Honestly, you'd forget your head if it wasn't...
Mrluvaluva: Thanks, dear.
He winces as he pecks her cheek. She begins attacking her hair with a hairdryer and brush.
lili: You hear about that suicide last night?
Mrluvaluva: You say that without a care in the world.
lili: Well I don't know the boy, or the family, so what of it?
Mrluvaluva: A child kills himself and you barely batter an eyelid?
lili: Whatever. So you nearly ready?
Mrluvaluva: Yeah. I don't know why I'm going to my employer's father's funeral.
lili: Because you need to look like the caring employee, and get a promotion. Heaven knows you've been waiting long enough for one.
Mrluvaluva: My precious need a new handbag?
lili: Women don't need handbags, darling, they want them.
She is finally happy with her hair and begins applying make-up.
Mrluvaluva: Hmm.

Scene Three - the hospital ward. A nurse comes in and wakes up BigSister.
Nurse Sunny: Are you his big sister?
BigSister: No, his mother.
Nurse Sunny: I see. Well, the doctor will have another look at him at about 10am, but I just came to inform you that he should be fine.
BigSister: Should?
Nurse Sunny: We don't want to fill you with false promises, Mrs. Wire, but personally speaking he should be OK.
BigSister: Oh, that's a relief!
Madonna rushes in, wearing a purple leotard.
Madonna: HOW IS HE?
Nurse Sunny: And you are?
BigSister: I'm sorry, this is his best friend.
Nurse Sunny: We only allow one visitor at a time.
BigSister: That's okay, I'll wait outside for a moment.
She and the Nurse leave the bedside and close the curtains around Madonna, who has placed a bag of grapes and a 'Get Well Soon' card on the table nearby. He is placing them down when he feels an arm touch his shoulder.
Firewire: Madonna?
Madonna: Oh my-
Firewire: Shush. What happened?
Madonna: She did this lesbian kiss with Britney Spears and Christina Agui-
Firewire: What the hell? Who?
Madonna: Oh wait. You mean what happened to you?
Firewire: Yes...
Madonna: Oh, well your Dad found you in the bath underwater, and there was an empty pill bottle on the floor. Hugo said you'd tried to kill yourself! Did you? Why!?
Firewire: Oh...I thought it was over.
Madonna: What was over? What's wrong, Firewire?
Firewire: I don't want to be alive any more. There's no point! All I ever do is follow the same boring routine of school, bullying, lunch, more school, get punched on the way home-
Madonna: Who punched you!?
Firewire: Oh that Picto.
Madonna: What a skeez. I'm so telling the Headmistress.
Firewire: Don't, it'll just make things worse. Nobody takes me seriously anyway. People only ever laugh at me because they think I'm gay, and I can't afford designer clothes...
Madonna: I think I know a way to sort that.

Scene Four - A barman is polishing wine-glasses, until a woman comes to the bar.
LIZZEDJ: Gin and tonic, please.
Matt: Right away.
He pours the drink and a member of staff comes from out back.
.Andy.: You finished doing those glasses?
Matt: Almost.
.Andy.: You're slowly wittering away your lunch hour, you know that?
.Andy. disappears out back again and Matt groans. Lizzedj catches his eye and they share a knowing smile.
Lizzedj: Having fun?
Matt: It pays the bills.
Lizzedj: I guess. Say, you're new around here.
Matt: Yeah, I moved in across the street from the library.
Lizzedj: Really? My name's Jen.
Matt: Nice to meet you. I'm Matt.
Lizzedj: Fill her up, will you?
Matt takes her glass and pours another mixture.
Matt: It's a bit early to be drinking...
Lizzedj: I suppose.
Matt: Sorry, that sounded rude.
Lizzedj: No, it's fine. But I'll tell you this. Being married to a man you don't love for 4 years, and looking after the kid he had on the side with some floozy, leads you to drink like that.
She slams the glass down on the bar and it smashes.
Lizzedj: Oh my God, I'm sorry!
Matt: It's fine...
.Andy.: You'll be paying for a replacement!
Matt: It's okay, I'll pay.
Lizzedj: Really?
Matt: Yeah, sure, you sound like you could do with a break.
Lizzedj gets up to leave and turns to Matt.
Lizzedj: That's so sweet! It's been a long time since anyone did something nice for me.
Matt: Don't mention it.

Scene Five - Fom is talking to an old woman at a wake. She dabs her eyes with a worn piece of tissue, as he feigns interest in what she is saying.
Supernoodles: It seems like just yesterday when your old man was dancing with me at the Winter Ball.
Fom: Yes...
GhettoSuperstar comes over and grabs Fom.
GhettoSuperstar: Can we go now?
Fom: I thought you'd never ask. Where's Mum?
GhettoSuperstar: Uhh...not sure.
A large woman wearing a black veil and heavy pearls around her neck embraces both of her sons, beaming as she speaks.
Kate: My boys, my boys! Why don't you ever come round and see your dear mother any more?
Fom: Ma!
Kate: Fom, dear, you're looking ever so much like your father these days. I'm sure he's looking down on you with pride. GhettoSuperstar...how's your new job dear?
GhettoSuperstar: I quit.
Kate: So soon? But what will you do now?
GhettoSuperstar: I dunno, mum, I really want to go into music.
Kate: Oh...
Fom: Listen, Mum, we were just about to leave. I'm really sorry, but I promise I'll come round tomorrow for tea.
Kate: There's my boy, can't resist some of his mummy's casserole, can you?
Fom: No... well, goodbye Ma!
They hug, and GhettoSuperstar pecks her on the cheek. She goes over to Supernoodles and they exchange anecdotes.
GhettoSuperstar: She so loves you more than she loves me.
Fom: Not this again...
GhettoSuperstar: Admit it!
Fom: I'm driving.

Scene Six - Princess/Annie's dormitory. Mark and Lauren are trying on each others' clothes as Annie walks in.
Annie: Nice tights, Mark, they suit you. Have either of you seen Princess?
Mark: Least I've got the legs to pull 'em off. No, why?
Lauren: I heard someone going out early this morning.
Annie: Weird. Maybe she's gone to ditch Sam! for good. Lord knows she needs to.
Lauren: Can you keep a secret?
Mark, stood behind Annie, shakes his head and mouths the word 'no'.
Annie: Of course!
Lauren: He's cheating on her!
Mark glares and throws a bra at her.
Lauren: Oi!
Annie: Oh em eff gee! With who?
Lauren: That's hardly important.
Mark: He slept with Christina!
Lauren throws a skirt at Mark.
Lauren: Hypocrite!
Annie: Oh my God...this is terrible! She's head over heels for him...
Princess: IT'S OVER.
Princess slams the door behind her and runs into her bedroom crying.
Annie: Princess, babe!
Mark looks at Lauren and she throws her bra back at him.

Scene Seven - Lizzedj comes out of the local fruit/veg store and bumps into a man, dropping a bunch of bananas.
Matt: Oh god, sorry, let me get that!
Lizzedj: No, I've got it.
She looks at him and picks up the bananas. She looks at them and smiles to herself.
Lizzedj: You again! You manage to persuade the dragon to set you free?
Matt: I slayed him with my enchanted sword.
They laugh.
Lizzedj: Well, you'll have to show me that some time...
She realises what she's just said.
Lizzedj: Uh, I've got to go.
She waves and Matt stands there, amused.

Scene Eight - A classroom is slowly filled as kids practically crawl in for their final lesson of the day. Satisfaction is sat at the desk and seems lost. The bell rings, sounding the start of the lesson, and he jumps. A few students giggle.
Satisfaction: Right...headcount. Two missing?
DamonJ: Madonna and Firewire, sir.
Conzors: Probably fagging it up in the toilets.
The class laughs.
Satisfaction: What did you just say?
Conzors remains silent.
Satisfaction: Think it's funny, homophobia. do you?
He still doesn't speak.
Satisfaction: Detention, after school, report to Mr. Locke at 3:30 in the library. And you can be certain I'll be talking to Ms. Ash about this.

Scene Nine - Outside the hospital. BigSister is pushing Firewire around in a wheelchair, and comes to a stop by Muse's car.
Muse: There's my boy. Do you need help getting in?
Firewire: No, I'm fine.
Hugo: So, no illness or near-death or anything? How boring!
Muse: Hugo! That's a terrible thing to say.
Hugo: Whatevs.
BigSister: I'll just take this chair back to the foyer...
She does so.
Madonna: Budge up!
Hugo: What ARE you wearing?
Madonna: Uhh...
Hugo: Don't talk. I don't like your voice.
Muse: Hugo, another word and you're walking home.
BigSister returns and climbs into the front seat. They drive home.

Scene Ten - Fom's house. It is now around 4 in the afternoon, and he goes to a photograph of the same man we've seen in his office. It turns out this was his father. He pours a scotch, whilst GhettoSuperstar turns on the TV.
Fom: So, that's that then.
GhettoSuperstar: Don't say it like that, you hadn't seen him for years anyway.
Fom: I know, but...he's our dad.
GhettoSuperstar: Was.
Fom: No, still is.
GhettoSuperstar: Hmm. So, I guess you're taking the reigns of the family 'business' then?
Fom: I already own the lemon emporium...
GhettoSuperstar: I mean the other stuff.
Fom: Oh, yeah.
GhettoSuperstar: Jesus, we might as well be Italian-American. Don't tell me, you've got a tommy-gun hidden in a safe behind one of these pictures.
Fom: Haha, sure.
GhettoSuperstar opens a box next to a pine bookcase and stares.
Fom: So what are you going to do then?
He hears no response and looks over.
Fom: Oh crap.

Scene Eleven - Sam!'s flat. He is removing photos of Princess from the walls of his bedroom, and has sent a text to Satisfaction saying "It's finished, we're safe x". He hears a knock at the door and opens it. Annie steps inside and slaps him.
Sam!: Son of a-
Annie: You heartless bastard! She cared about you! And you sleep with that skank?
Sam!: I hardly think that's any of your business.
Annie: I've made it my business. So, you ready to run off into the sunset with Christina then?
Satisfaction walks in, holding a bottle of wine and a rom-com DVD. He stops in his tracks and Annie puts two and two together.
Annie: Well, well.

Closing sequence - "Love Is A Losing Game" by Amy Winehouse plays over the sequence. We first see Firewire staring out of his dad's car window, as he sees Ruth*Star walking out of school with a group of friends. We then cut to Lizzedj stood outside .Andy.'s bar, when Matt steps outside to put a sign up. They exchange looks and she smiles. We then cut to Mrluvaluva taking off his suit jacket and receiving a text. It says "Can you babysit? Need to go Bingo! Luv Nicky xx" and he smiles. Finally, we cut back to Princess putting on a ton of makeup. She is wearing an extremely short skirt and is off out with Mark and Lauren.