Hazel > Nelly in my story. Hazel's a fierce bitch.

:sad:

Read back PJ...

Did you know the combined weight of all the girls that are in gossip girl is 9 stone,fat bitches.

LMFAO *remembers to make PJ messed up*

I would've been in this but nobody told me about it. :sad:

Don't be so sure. :bigsmile:

Everyone will have a chance to be in it at some point.

Okay then... :spin2:

Ooh, the launch of this is great promotion for the latest TiBB Apprentice task... :eureka:

Okay, I'm about to post! :tongue:

less talking more posting betch

Lol Mark, just get on with it, you say that you're about to post then you go offline.

OI ****ER
HE'S ITALICS-ING

:hugesmile:
lol

TiBB Gossip Girl – Episode 1: ‘Pilot’

Opening Sequence:

Gossip Girl: Hey Upper East TiBBers, Gossip Girl here... and I have the biggest news ever. One of my many sources, jimmytubbs, sends us this: Spotted at This Is Big Brother Lobby, bags in hand: Lauren van der Woodsen. Was it only a year ago our It-Girl mysteriously disappeared for quote 'boarding school'? And just as suddenly she's back. Don't believe me? See for yourselves: Lucky for us, jimmytubbs sent proof. Thanks for the photo, Jimmy!

Scene One:
Random TiBB members have just received an instant text message from Gossip Girl.
Locke: OH MY GOD! You’ll never believe what’s on Gossip Girl! Someone saw Lauren getting off a train at TiBB Central!
.Andy.: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Are you for real?
*****************************************
Ruth*Star: Oh my god…
*****************************************
Dezzy: *pauses ‘Womanizer’ on iPod* WHAT??
*****************************************
TiBB Towers.
Mark: Alert the staff, it’s happened…
James: Surely not?
Mark: *panics* It’s on Gossip Girl!
*****************************************
LemonJam: EPIC!
Zak: What is? *looks at LemonJam’s sidekick*
LemonJam: Lauren van der Woodsen is what is!

Scene Two:
Humphrey household in the low-district Big Brother section. Ninastar is in her bedroom browsing the Gossip Girl website. There are kittens on her wall.
Ninastar: SAM! Get in here!!
Sam, slightly thrown back comes running into the room.
Sam: WHAT? What is it?
Ninastar: YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT WAS POSTED ON GOSSIP GIRL!
Sam: What?
Ninastar: Only that Lauren van der Woodsen back on TiBB…
Sam: Didn’t she leave?
Ninastar: Yeah. Oh, poor girl. It says she was driven out last year...
Sam: Look, I’m completely over that girl.

Scene Three:
Hugo’s penthouse in the upper-east side of TiBB. Hugo, just awake, is browsing the inbox on his cell.
Hugo: *whispers* Lauren’s back?
Shaun, a Polish export who maids for the Waldorf’s strolls into the room with a tray holding breakfast.
Shaun: Eat up Mr Hugo.
Hugo: Now isn’t the time for food, Shaun.
Shaun: But Mr Hugo...breakfast important meal of the day.
Hugo: Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when your enemy has just waltzed her over-sized ass back onto TiBB?
Shaun: You need to calm brain and eat breakfast. You want toast?
Hugo: No, I want Lauren van der Woodsen’s head on a platter.
Shaun: Miss van der Woodsen’s return, Mr Hugo?
Hugo: How did you know?
Shaun: I subscribed to Gossip Girl text alert.
Hugo: She’ll come back and take everything I’ve worked for! She is not to enter this apartment, do you hear me?
Shaun: Yes Mr Hugo. Don’t tell Miss Sia, but times like this I pack a 40 caliber in my night stand and Nighthawk Custom Heinie PDP in closet.
Gossip Girl: Uh oh, Hugo left stranded in the field of Lauren. Looks like Hugo’s reign over TiBB is over. ttyl Hugo. A nation can’t have two queens.

Scene Four:
Ross Bass’ penthouse, also on the upper-east side. Remy, who stayed the night, is awoken by a text message.
Remy: Ross, dude, wake up!
Ross, who sits up in bed, pulls away two hookers.
Ross: Yes, Archibald? Now tell me, is this really important enough to distract me from…*points to each hooker*
Remy: Lauren’s back.
Ross: *smiles* Good. It was getting…dull, around here. Excuse me, ladies. And Gossip Girl says?
Remy: Says she got off a train at TiBB Central this morning. “Bags in hand…”
Ross: You must be thrilled if your last acquaintance was anything to go by.
Remy: We’re not together…
Ross: Says the guy who took her ‘V’ at the back of count LuvaLuva’s wedding last September.
Remy: I’m gonna go.
Ross: Oh come on, Archibald. I understand. She’s incredibly hot, and that type of perfection deserves to be violated.
Gossip Girl: What’s Remy got to hide? Here’s hoping it’s out soon. Gossip Girl knows a good scandal when she sees one.

Scene Five:
Lauren arrives at her mother’s penthouse, tired and distracted. She’s awaiting her mother, Linda van der Woodsen to answer the door.
Linda: Lauren, dear…when did you get back?
Lauren: Just now actually. Mum, look…I didn’t want to cause a scene but it appears not one person on TiBB isn’t aware that I’ve returned. Please, I need you to try and not make a huge deal.
Linda: Oh honey, why would I do that?
Lauren: Because I seem to remember your homepage being my name under the key-search on Gossip Girl last year.
Linda: Well at least someone was keeping me in tune. Believe me; if I ever have to read how you came onto Duke Grahame Stickings at his Inaugural again, it’ll drive me to where ever you ended up.
Lauren: I’m gonna take a shower. I’ve got school soon.
Linda: Yes, please do. Catch up over dinner tonight?
Lauren: What ever.
Gossip Girl: Spotted, a van der Woodsen showdown. Two flags waving, one woman left standing. Looks Linda has this one sealed and ready for delivery. Tips@TiBBGossipGirl.com, Momma L.

Scene Six:
The Humphrey household. Red is getting ready for work. Nina has entered.
Red: What was Sam’s rush to school this morning for?
Ninastar: *blushes* Oh my god, you’re completely clueless. Didn’t you read Gossip Girl?
Red: What? You know Nina, in my day we didn’t have Gossip Girl. We had…privacy.
Ninastar: Uh never mind, dad. You wouldn’t understand.
Red: *shouts* Wait; is that the blog with all the capitals? You know how I feel about...
The door slams behind Ninastar.

Scene Seven:
Hugo, Gary Christina and Sophie are sitting on the steps outside of Chat and Games eating yoghurt.
Gary: Can you believe that slut had the nerve to even step back onto TiBB?
Christina: I know, right?
Gary: Please, she fell harder than Britney at the VMAs.
Sophie: Gossip Girl’s reporting she’s coming to school today. You don’t think she…
A scrawny young wannabe named Madonna climbs up the steps to C&G.
Hugo: Excuse me, who are you?
Madonna: MADONNA! BUT LOOK! I have exclusives!
Gary: Sorry, we don’t speak socially retarded.
Hugo: Let him finish. Go on…
Madonna: FIREWIRE TOLD ME…
Hugo: and that is?
Madonna: MY FRIEND! *group sniggers* He told me Lauren is planning on turning up to your 17th tomorrow night!
Hugo: *interested* really?
Lauren is seen walking up the steps to C&G. She stares at Hugo.
Lauren: H.
Hugo: L.
Gary, Sophie and Christina sit in shock.
Hugo: *raises an eye to Madonna* you can go now.
Lauren: I see you’re still recruiting minions.
Hugo: I see you still look like a *****.
Gossip Girl: We have one word. Epic. Keep note historians, the showdown of H and L is truly one for the history books.
Lauren: What happened to us, H?
Hugo: As much as this confrontation is so entertaining, I have a future to prepare for. Come on girls.
Lauren: You’re 17th…
Hugo: Yeah, you’re kind of not invited. Madonna took up the last invite. *walks off*
Gossip Girl: Ouch, a sudden realization of how far she’s fallen. Looks like Madonna Yuki’s been upgraded. Congrats, M.

Scene Eight:
Later in the day, Lauren is at The TiBB bar, drinking. Ross Bass enters.
Ross: My favorite IT-girl, fresh out of…where was it again? ‘Boarding school’…
Lauren: What do you want, Ross?
Ross: Maybe a key to your room. We could go up, take our clothes off, stare at each other…
Lauren: You’re sick. I don’t know how clear I was the last time we saw each other, but I want nothing to do with you Ross.
Ross: To the contrary. Remy still believes there’s a chance. Does he know...about…us?
Lauren: NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW! That was a mistake.
Ross: The tape doesn’t seem to think so. I just love it when a tragic mess screams my name over and over.
Lauren appears shocked.
Ross: Don’t worry, L. We won’t have to leak it just now. Where’s the fun in that? Oh and by the way,
welcome back.
Gossip Girl: Spotted: Lauren van der Woodsen looking like she’s seen a ghost. A ghost of TiBB’s past.

Scene Nine:
Sam is walking down General Way when Lauren comes storming out of a bar. They bump into each other.
Sam: I’m so sorr…
Lauren: Watch where you’re going!
Sam appears shocked that he’s touched Lauren van der Woodsen.
Sam: Hey! You forgot your cell!
Gossip Girl: There’s nothing Gossip Girl likes better than a good Cinderella Story. Lauren van der Woodsen spotted with unknown male. Any money he’s as messed up as she is?

-------------------------------------------------------------
‘Patience’ by Nick Lachey plays. Sam is in his room staring at Lauren’s cell phone. Hugo is at home looking through old photos of him and Lauren ahead of his 17th. Ross is viewing a tape at his penthouse. Remy is texting someone on his cell phone. ‘I need 2 no. Is it still on?’ Sent. Lauren, at dinner with mother Linda and brother Callum receives a text and deletes it soon after reading.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Gossip Girl: It looks like Lauren’s return has once again messed the natural order of things on the Upper-East side. Anyone prepared to cast a waver for how long she’ll stick around? You know who’ll be watching, Lauren.

You know you love me
xoxo
Gossip Girl

LOVES IT.

Mark I love it. How long did it take to write?

Thanks guys. Um, I started last night at like 11:40pm and finished around 1:30am.

Groviness markkkkkkkkkk.. ps u shud do my twitter thangggggg.. :) x

"you know you love me xoxo"

haha i hear the gg voice when i read it..

Naturally, that's the role Riz :p

Lol so do I, when i'm reading I have that voice in my head. :/

lol YOU ****** :).. in the nicest way possible.

WOOPAGE! Move over Nelly Yuki, there's a new kind of pathetic but secretly amazing betch in town.

Yay I'm Polish :D

I love Hugo<3 And lmao @ the 'Madonna got the last invite' bit. Luvvit. Great work, MW.

lol thank you guys.

writing these things is harder than I thought. :tongue: