How do men exercise on the beach?

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

My girlfriend told me last Christmas she wanted something suprising and sexy.

Turned out she didn't mean rape.

Yo momma so short she does pull-ups on a staple.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

lol

Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

hahahahahaha

Men Are Just Happier People

* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* You can never be pregnant.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* You can open all your own jars.
* You can play with toys all your life.
* You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.
* You never have strap problems in public.
* People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You! are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* Everything on your face stays its original colour.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

A blonde was admitted into hospital for having phone sex. Doctors removed 2 Nokias, 1 Samsung, 2 Motorolas, but no Siemens were found.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why do men prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.

How do you get 500 cows in a barn?

Put a bingo sign on top of it!

What do you call a man with half a brain?

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children

I like my women like I like my whiskey: kept in a cellar and only brought out when a select group of friends come round...

What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?

I went to Saudi Arabia recently. They have some amazing laws over there... You know women can't drive? Well over there it's illegal too!

What do you call a woman with 2 brian cells?

Women's intuition.

Women call it, "women's intuition", men call it, "automatically thinking you're right without having to think too much".

:laugh2:

Ben that doesnt really help :bored:

Simple mistake from typing quickly.

I see no women saw it :)