Last night 14 brand new housemates entered the Big Brother house. Patrick nominated, Joe, Niamh, MM&I and Scott to face eviction from the house. Later today one of these housemates will be evicted for good. The housemates are woken up by Eliza Doolittle - Pack Up. 'Oh my God I love her' screams MM&I. Most housemates are nursing a hangover from last night, they all go out to the kitchen area where Gypsygoth has cooked a week's worth of food for them. Niamh and InOne are in the smoking area talking about tonight's eviction. 'I have a list of people who I know have a gameplan, Shaun, Locke, Novo and Smithy, they're all out to get rid of me' says Niamh. 'Ah dont worry about it you'll be going nowhere, the public love a romance' replies InOne. The two share a hug as Niamh wipes a tear from her eye.

Locke and Novo are sitting in the living room. 'She's definitely gone, the public hate these fake romance things plus a guy has never been first evicted' states Novo. Locke nods his head in agreement. Gypsygoth, Scott and Mollie are trying to comfort Smithy who's been missing his pet Parrot Niall. 'We do everything together and i'm just afraid he'll be gone when I get out' cries Smithy. 'GURL, please he'll be waiting with open wings when you get evicted' says Scott. 'Evicted?' asks Smithy? 'Oh NVM'. 'I like foxes' adds Ninastar.

Coming Up....

'Oh yeah well ****** you, you look like a genital wart'

Joe, Scott, MM&I and Niamh are packing their suitcases. Joe decides to show the housemates a picture of his Fiancé. 'She's very plasctic isn't she Joe?' asks Niamh. 'That's just the way the lighting is in the picture' he replies as he walks into the sitting room. 'That guys a fruit loop it's a picture of a blow up doll, I mean I though housemates were given background checks' whispers Smithy. The bedroom begin to chuckle at Joe's expense.

Novo and Locke are beside the pool talking in code about who they think will leave later today. 'I reckon cougar will stay and M&M will go' states Novo. Locke nods his head in agreement. 'Wouldn't surprise me if the camel went though, you know how the public are!' Locke nods his head. Novo and Locke can hear shouting coming from the bedroom, they both jump up and run inside the house.

'What do you mean it's a blow up doll? she's gorgeous and we're going to be married soon you t**t.' snarled Joe. 'Oh right whatever, you'll look great walking round with that thing on your arm' laughed Smithy. 'Oh yeah well ****** you, you look like a genital wart.' snapped Joe. This Is Big Brother would Joe come to the Diary Room Immediately. Joe grabs a shoe and hurls it at smithy's head
Coming up.........

I can now reveal that the first person evicted from the Big Brother house is........

Shaun killed them all and was declared winner of the show and President of Europe for getting rid of these vile people.