Emotionally breaking down after playing a magnificent triangle solo.

Not looting cause my mum didnt bring me up on turkey dinosaurs and stella.

If her shoes light up, she too young for you bro.

Sticking your dick in a Bread Bag 'cos Condoms don't fit

Overfeeding your dog so it doesnt hassle you for walkies.

Emotionally breaking down on Jeremy Kyle when Graham comes out

The moment of heartbreak when your pet jumps off your bed & leaves the room

Don't worry, I'm an artist...now get naked

Using Wd-40 as lube during sex cus ur a ****in machine

Having absolutely no self-control at a buffet.

'How many drinks have you had tonight sir', "Yeah good thanks"

Moon Walking Through A Riot Because You're A Smooth Criminal

Slags who slag off other slags for being slags

:joker:

Here's my cup of give a ****, \_/ Oh look it's empty, so jog on.

Being a top African and getting the water in for the boys

Violently fist pumping to Adele.

Emotionally breaking down after playing a magnificent triangle solo.

Sometimes i lay on the kitchen floor and pretend to be a crumb.

Painting your child blue so your neighbours think you own a smurf.

Not caring about your education because you fully expect to win the Lottery

:joker:

:laugh3:

Gluing tomatoes to ur weed plants so the neighbours don't think ur a dealer.

Dressing up as a Sausage and chasing Vegetarians.

:laugh2:

Goat's are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

Standing trapped in the corner of the shower because the water turned cold.

I bet she is naked under all those clothes, the slut.

Having to pretend you like the dinner your eating at a friends house.

:worship:
http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2009/07...EX_450x250.jpg

:joker:

"I don't need to flip a coin to get head."

Being so hungover you genuinely think you're going to die

Being inappropriately drunk at low-key family gatherings.

Finding out you're gunna be a dad after being tagged in the scan.

Jay-Z finally has 100 problems.

-joins-

Walking through a spiders web and instantly learning karate.

Getting a text and thinking "oh not this ****"

I have no idea what you just said so im just gonna say "yeah" and smile.

Getting shampoo in your eye and accepting the fact you'll never see again.