You're wrong Arista. I have never hit my kids and neither have been hit by a car yet and both are well behaved.

I have children and I have never hit them and they're very well behaved tyvm.

This just shows you are not paying attention whatsoever. You've taken everything being said and overdramatised them to the max. Hitting people because they don't agree with you? Where on earth have you read that? Twisted everything, like you usually do. Do you take drama classes or something?

We've made it clear time after time to you that we are talking about smacking a child on the hand or legs, not BEATING them. Jump down off your pedestal, it's not flattering.

It's not about chastising a child because they disagree with you, it's about teaching right from wrong. I personally hate it, say for instance, you are in a supermarket, and a child is being a pain, and the parent whacks them one, hard. That is out of their own short temper, and maybe not the best way to react. It's about teaching by association, if you like. It's not up to us though to decide for other people. There is no right or wrong (unless it is extreme), only our opinions. Everyone has conflicting views, and everybody is different.

Parenthood is a learning process also...

Yes exactly, that's the thing, it's almost always done out of anger and frustration as a reaction.

I always found that the best way to handle a toddler having a tantrum was just to completely ignore it, it works far better than shouting or smacking, they're looking for attention from you and even a smack or shouting is attention.

Yes, but not always though. As I said, I think it's about learning by association. Whether it be by being sent to their room, taking their things away, or a light tap. The same actions do not work for everyone. Smacking out of personal loss of temper is not the best thing to do imo.

Well from reading this thread this morning I have learned that my parents viciously beat me simply because I disagreed with them at times, they are horrible parents who dont know how to bring up kids, and that I will grow up to be a violent psychopath now because of the beatings.

Interesting.

lol :laugh:

It was the thing to do at the time imo but I'm hoping that we're starting to move away from it now and realising there are better ways to parent your child.

You can always rely on our American friend to completely go off on a huge insulting tangent over something he's not quite clearly understood.

Oh I think he understood, but I think he wanted to cause a reaction.;)

..oh dear lets all stay away from Vicky

Utter nonsense the last part. I don't have kids... I was a child and I was given sometimes more than a light smack - oddly enough: I didn't grow up to be an abuser to children regardless, nor did I grow up thinking hitting babies or toddlers is right, nor did I grow up to believe that a good thumping of a child was correct either.

A person does not have to be a parent to have an opinion you know.

:D

Someone better tell wee Farrelly to stay where he/she is!

I don't see anything wrong with an occasional light smack

Well I would assume it's not going to be anyway effective if it doesn't actually hurt the child, and I would never want to physically hurt my children.

Fair Enough... But I got an occasional smack as a kid when I was naughty and it always deterred me from doing it again...It didn't cause me any harm but it did stop me from misbehaving

If it wasn't effective for some children....some parents wouldn't do it.

Most don't tend to do it always out of temper / anger - what works for you and your children doesn't mean that will work for other parents and their children.

Yes its horses for courses, I have two and can count on one hand the times my daughter has got slapped whereas the boy.... ooooh.....Mind you since she turned 18 I have come close to punching her in the face many times :)

It's in the rule book Kizzy that when they turn 18, you are allowed to beat them viciously into a pulp.

:D

Yes parents could write everything down in a 'smack book' and on their 18 birthday let em have it...
THATS for when you cut holes in your curtains
THATS for when you drew on the front door in permanant marker
THATS for going missing for 2 hours when you were 7 and ageing me 10 years
THATS for telling your brother the hedgehogs left him on our doorstep
THATS for googling tits and bums and blaming your brother so he got a smack when it was you.....

Am loving the 2 in bold.

When I was about 6, people having their own cars was still a kinda posh thing.... neighbours in seeing mum and dad (showing their new car). Apprently I asked if I could go out drawing the car.....

minutes later: I'm there with my felt tip coloured pens, drawing on this pristine white car.

I can't recall but apparently I got one sore backside for that one. :shocked:

Hahaha! class :D

My cousins went through that phase a few months back. "Cheryl Cole Naked" I think was the search item. lol

I'm sure slapping is effective...... I just think there are better ways to discipline then to get physical with a child. And how do you know whether most tend to do it out of anger or not btw?

There may indeed be other ways that may be more effective: and there may not be.

How do you know that isn't the case, that most tend to do it out of anger btw...... do you know this for 100% certainty? I don't but it is my opinion regardless, because I have friends who admit to it and who have been embarrassed and ashamed and have tried to explain why they did what they did. That's why I have my opinion.

What works for one parent, doesn't work for another. What works for one child, may not work for another.

No one is saying one way is right, or the other way is wrong: it's about accepting that other people DO have an opinion Niamh which you may not necessarily agree with - a person and will have an opinion without being a parent themselves. Not all parents are expert parents - if there was such a thing: someone would be bottling it, selling it and making an absolute fortune.

I just find it strange that the only form of physical violence that our society accepts, is against our own children. I don't believe that's ever acceptable, and I'm quite happy to say I think it's wrong.

A gentle smack on the hand is hardly violence. To call it violence is a highly dramatic imo, and I'm quite happy to say I think that to equate a gentle smack as violence, is wrong.

I don't think it is strange. You do. Viva la difference and all that.

A "gentle" smack? Again........for it to have any kind of effective on the child it has to hurt them
I don't agree with hitting old people or disabled people either, am I right about that? I see no difference with hitting kids, they're all the most vulnerable members of our society.

So..you don't agree with me, is there any particular reason for you labouring your point Niamh?

This is not about old people, nor is it about diabled children. It is about young children who some people may chose to smack as a form of discipline and discussing that.

Your opinion isn't right or wrong - neither is mine. But you appear to be coming across as though you think your way is the only correct way. It's not - it is what you believe, and what some others believe. It's not an opinion I agree on, and I don't happen to be alone in my opinion.

There really is no point in going round in circles - we disagree for the reasons we both have stated. That's the way it works sometimes.

My opinion is right on this, I used the example of disabled and elderly people because I don't see the difference in hitting them or children.

No your opinion is only your opinion. And it is highly disrespectful to dismiss the opinion of others.

I believe it's highly disrespectful to use physical force on a small child

And I respect your opinion and would be appreciative if you would respect mine, even though you vehemently disagree with it, rather than telling me my opinion is wrong. :blush:

Normally I would Pyramid but tbh It's something that I feel very strongly about and I could never say that I may be wrong about it, as I put it in the same category as hitting any other vulnerable member of our society

Tbf it's only hitting them to the point where they're in pain for about a minute, not beat the living **** out of them.

Also if they're being really naughty and won't listen to you then I think you've got no choice but to give them a little smack.

There's always a choice and there's always a better way then getting physical.

But you are happy enough to tell others you are right - and their opinion is wrong. That's not quite in the spirit of the forum about respecting other fms opinions: regardless of how much one disagrees with them: but if that's how you roll, that's how you roll. It seems a rather bullish way of not accepting someone else's opinion, and that's just my opinion of course: you are perfectly entitled to articulate how you feel: I however find it quite insulting that you don't respect my opinion.

We disagree and there is no point in going around in circles.

Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way Pyramid but I don't think you would be telling me this If I was in here saying hitting elderly people or disabled people was wrong and I can't see the difference between them, I think it's crazy that hitting anyone is wrong except if it's little children, it's a flaw in our society and I hope one day that's changed.

Even if taking away there stuff doesn't work? or ignoring them?

I wouldn't be telling you anything - I'd be offering my opinion and respecting yours, even though I disagreed with it.

Like I say Niamh - no point in going round in circles becuase that is all that is happening.