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-   -   Does Ali joke? Why so serious!! (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=393178)

Garfie 13-10-2024 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443 (Post 11527222)
I never said she was nasty but people making assumptions that it’s because she is on the spectrum that’s the way she is.

To get a good career while being on the spectrum gives me a clear indication that she is only slightly affected by it .

And it’s more of an excuse than an actual problem for her

I’m a teacher with a specialism in ASD, and have worked closely with people on the spectrum for many years. People on the Asperger’s end of the spectrum can be highly intelligent and have great careers, as they are more likely to have the skills to manage their symptoms more effectively.

However, Autism isn’t about IQ, it’s about difficulties in reading other people, and in navigating social settings and interactions, because they have a very literal understanding of language. I would agree with you that Ali doesn’t have extreme traits of Autism, but I would guarantee her tendencies would still make life confusing and challenging for her.

To say that it is an excuse, rather than an actual problem, shows a total misunderstanding of the condition, which surprises me when you’ve shared that you have a daughter with Autism. Before you judge Ali in this way, perhaps consider if you would like people misjudging or dismissing your child in this way.

Garfie 13-10-2024 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beso (Post 11527241)
And her friendship with Lily.?

Just like everyone else, people on the spectrum can have different types of friendships.

Personality wise, Ali seems like a caring, compassionate and protective person, and this might draw her to Lily. She might also recognise Lily, like herself, as being someone who has difficulties fitting in socially, so could well be connecting with her for this reason.

I would imagine that when Lily is out of control, loud and chaotic, she would want to calm her down in order to make the environment around her calmer, and I would also imagine there are many parts of the day when she would need time out from Lily’s company.

Remember, we are only shown short extracts over about 45 minutes on each main show, and considering the number of people in there, and the number of interactions that would occur over a 24 hour period, a full picture of what is happening will be unknown to us.

ThomasC 13-10-2024 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443 (Post 11527210)
You can be on the spectrum and be a nasty piece of work
One that springs to mind is the autistic guy that stabbed his girlfriend about 26 times to death

My daughter is autistic my partner works in
In a college with special needs

Last week she had a water bottle and a table thrown at her

It is true, but there are exceptions.

Those who are on the autistic spectrum may have behaviours that challenge, more often than not it's a way of communicating.

Crimson Dynamo 13-10-2024 11:30 AM

73% of Boomer males: "No matter what psychological challenges I face, I will
not let them define me."

72% of Gen Z females: "Mental illness is an important part of my identity."



https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GZoTle4b...jpg&name=small

thesheriff443 13-10-2024 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garfie (Post 11527254)
I’m a teacher with a specialism in ASD, and have worked closely with people on the spectrum for many years. People on the Asperger’s end of the spectrum can be highly intelligent and have great careers, as they are more likely to have the skills to manage their symptoms more effectively.

However, Autism isn’t about IQ, it’s about difficulties in reading other people, and in navigating social settings and interactions, because they have a very literal understanding of language. I would agree with you that Ali doesn’t have extreme traits of Autism, but I would guarantee her tendencies would still make life confusing and challenging for her.

To say that it is an excuse, rather than an actual problem, shows a total misunderstanding of the condition, which surprises me when you’ve shared that you have a daughter with Autism. Before you judge Ali in this way, perhaps consider if you would like people misjudging or dismissing your child in this way.

My daughter isn’t on a reality television show

As to being judged we all do it every second of the day

Don’t you dare try to undermine my experience of the system and those on it

GoldHeart 13-10-2024 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Benjamin (Post 11527221)
Bar Nathan, she seemed to bond with Izaaz the most out of the lads.

Well she mentioned forming an ' alliance ' with Nathan. I wish they'd show more of her conversations with the other guys. I heard that she's speaking more to them on live feed , hopefully it makes some of the HL tonight.

Beso 13-10-2024 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garfie (Post 11527265)
Just like everyone else, people on the spectrum can have different types of friendships.

Personality wise, Ali seems like a caring, compassionate and protective person, and this might draw her to Lily. She might also recognise Lily, like herself, as being someone who has difficulties fitting in socially, so could well be connecting with her for this reason.

I would imagine that when Lily is out of control, loud and chaotic, she would want to calm her down in order to make the environment around her calmer, and I would also imagine there are many parts of the day when she would need time out from Lily’s company.

Remember, we are only shown short extracts over about 45 minutes on each main show, and considering the number of people in there, and the number of interactions that would occur over a 24 hour period, a full picture of what is happening will be unknown to us.



If it's so unknown to us, why are you totally disregarding peoples opinions about ali, and her level of adhd, when you've not had the full.picture either:shrug:.

Zizu 13-10-2024 11:59 AM

Does Ali joke? Why so serious!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Garfie (Post 11527204)
Never change a thing thing, Zizu. To me, people with ASD, are the most wonderful people to spend time with, and I’ve often said the world would be a better place if everyone was autistic. My dream has always been to own some land in the countryside, to use as an animal sanctuary, and for everyone who works there to be on the spectrum. That would be such a blissful existence.

You will have an understanding of Ali that many people won’t have, and will be aware that people on the spectrum are generally upfront and honest - they don’t usually have a sly or devious nature in my experience, as they find it difficult to lie.

And you are right to mention how exhausting it is to have these conditions, and be in a social setting for a long period of time, as it becomes overwhelming. This is why Ali is bound to withdraw from the group at some points, and just decompress. That isn’t her being aloof, which is how it can be interpreted.


Oddly enough I do volunteer forestry work and help out at an animal sanctuary … pot bellied pigs , horses, donkeys, goats ( so many goats ) lambs, geese , ducks and various types of chickens

Oh and cats and a dawg


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ThomasC 13-10-2024 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443 (Post 11527222)
I never said she was nasty but people making assumptions that it’s because she is on the spectrum that’s the way she is.

To get a good career while being on the spectrum gives me a clear indication that she is only slightly affected by it .

And it’s more of an excuse than an actual problem for her

She's not on the autism spectrum though

She has ADHD. There is a difference between the two even though they're both neurological conditions.

ThomasC 13-10-2024 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beso (Post 11527277)
If it's so unknown to us, why are you totally disregarding peoples opinions about ali, and her level of adhd, when you've not had the full.picture either:shrug:.

It would help if people could stop saying she has autism when those words never came out her mouth.

I stand to be corrected.

Niamh. 13-10-2024 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThomasC (Post 11527397)
It would help if people could stop saying she has autism when those words never came out her mouth.



I stand to be corrected.

Apparently she's diagnosed with ADHD and also exhibits autistic traits
https://www.ladbible.com/news/health...84106-20241009

ThomasC 13-10-2024 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 11527401)
Apparently she's diagnosed with ADHD and also exhibits autistic traits
https://www.ladbible.com/news/health...84106-20241009

Ah, I missed what she said them

They can go hand in hand and symptoms can he present.

First time I've heard it called AuDHD

Zizu 13-10-2024 03:39 PM

Does Ali joke? Why so serious!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 11527401)
Apparently she's diagnosed with ADHD and also exhibits autistic traits
https://www.ladbible.com/news/health...84106-20241009


Interesting

I have both also ( plus dyslexia) but this is the first I have heard of the term AuDHD


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Ammi 13-10-2024 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 11527401)
Apparently she's diagnosed with ADHD and also exhibits autistic traits
https://www.ladbible.com/news/health...84106-20241009

…it’s interesting that each condition massively contradict each other as one is more based in structure and order….whereas with ADHD…it’s more spontaniety and chaos, if you like…

Zizu 13-10-2024 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 11527431)
…it’s interesting that each condition massively contradict each other as one is more based in structure and order….whereas with ADHD…it’s more spontaniety and chaos, if you like…


That’s precisely why its sooooo exhausting and frustrating !


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Ammi 13-10-2024 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu (Post 11527449)
That’s precisely why its sooooo exhausting and frustrating !


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…you are diagnosed with both conditions, Zizu…?…

Zizu 13-10-2024 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 11527452)
…you are diagnosed with both conditions, Zizu…?…


Initially Dyslexia , then later on Aspergers and more recently ADHD


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Zizu 13-10-2024 04:11 PM

Does Ali joke? Why so serious!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu (Post 11527465)
Initially Dyslexia , then later on Aspergers and more recently ADHD


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Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


There are some positives but they are massively outweighed by the negatives



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Ammi 13-10-2024 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu (Post 11527465)
Initially Dyslexia , then later on Aspergers and more recently ADHD


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…do you have any therapies or coaching etc in managing your conditions in terms of the conflicting way they must present and the impact that will have on you…?…

GoldHeart 13-10-2024 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu (Post 11527469)
Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


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Yeah but that's not your fault, I don't know what the chances are...but it isn't always genetic / hereditary.

Zizu 13-10-2024 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 11527470)
…do you have any therapies or coaching etc in managing your conditions in terms of the conflicting way they must present and the impact that will have on you…?…


I have been given many strategies / coping methods over the years- some work


Life is exasperating and exhausting whilst being wonderfully amazing at the same time..


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Ammi 13-10-2024 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu (Post 11527469)
Our son and daughter are both ADHD and I have to live with that guilt


There are some positives but they are massively outweighed by the negatives



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

…it’s part of who they are and hopefully they manage it within their lifestyles and have happy and fulfilled lives…guilt isn’t something that should be felt, you’re big part of why they exist and that’s a wonderful thing…I’m sure that’s what they feel…

Zizu 13-10-2024 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoldHeart (Post 11527472)
Yeah but that's not your fault, I don't know what the chances are...but it isn't always genetic / hereditary.


I cant say what the official figures are but in my 30 years of working with autistic teenagers I haven’t met one who didn’t have an autistic parent ( sometimes two ) - usually the dads


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Ammi 13-10-2024 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu (Post 11527475)
I have been given many strategies / coping methods over the years- some work


Life is exasperating and exhausting whilst being wonderfully amazing at the same time..


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

…yeah coping mechanisms and strategies aren’t a cure, I understand that…but managing also helps to understand and create preventatives, doesn’t it…Im sure that it is very exhausting but I’m glad that you have great joy through that exhaustion as well…

Zizu 13-10-2024 04:20 PM

Does Ali joke? Why so serious!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 11527476)
…it’s part of who they are and hopefully they manage it within their lifestyles and have happy and fulfilled lives…guilt isn’t something that should be felt, you’re big part of why they exist and that’s a wonderful thing…I’m sure that’s what they feel…


Oh yes ..

They are both successful but are stress heads
Both married with kids … who are showing signs..

None of us know the meaning of relaxation for instance .. it’s just not an option.


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Zizu 13-10-2024 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 11527479)
…yeah coping mechanisms and strategies aren’t a cure, I understand that…but managing also helps to understand and create preventatives, doesn’t it…Im sure that it is very exhausting but I’m glad that you have great joy through that exhaustion as well…


Apologies people
I never intended to hog the thread but for all my failings .. if they found a cure I wouldn’t want it

[emoji4]


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Beso 13-10-2024 04:28 PM

It's interesting zizu.

Zizu 13-10-2024 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beso (Post 11527488)
It's interesting zizu.


Thank you


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Ammi 13-10-2024 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu (Post 11527481)
Oh yes ..

They are both successful but are stress heads
Both married with kids … who are showing signs..

None of us know the meaning of relaxation for instance .. it’s just not an option.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

…stress heading is quite popular in the world today I think for everyone but I understand what you’re saying…I do though think that a misplaced feeling of guilt probably guides you much more than you need to allow it to…I know you’ve mentioned your children from time to time and I know how proud you are of them …that’s all you need to feel, the wonderful lives that you’ve been a part of and journeyed with …:love:..

Ammi 13-10-2024 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu (Post 11527482)
Apologies people
I never intended to hog the thread but for all my failings .. if they found a cure I wouldn’t want it

[emoji4]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

…:love:…

Zizu 13-10-2024 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 11527496)
…stress heading is quite popular in the world today I think for everyone but I understand what you’re saying…I do though think that a misplaced feeling of guilt probably guides you much more than you need to allow it to…I know you’ve mentioned your children from time to time and I know how proud you are of them …that’s all you need to feel, the wonderful lives that you’ve been a part of and journeyed with …:love:..


You are too kind .. thank you


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GoldHeart 13-10-2024 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu (Post 11527478)
I cant say what the official figures are but in my 30 years of working with autistic teenagers I haven’t met one who didn’t have an autistic parent ( sometimes two ) - usually the dads


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Really ... that's interesting, because what about all those kids & teens who are diagnosed on the spectrum,but their parents don't seem to have any of the conditions themselves ? .

But now thinking about it , could it be the parents I'm talking about have never been diagnosed full stop ,or they just don't have the same symptoms etc...but could still be on the spectrum. It's a difficult one.

Maybe more research needs to be done, but I've noticed more & more young people these days are being diagnosed with either autism or ADHD or both.

Beso 13-10-2024 04:39 PM

I wonder if the parents took drugs in the 90s

Zizu 13-10-2024 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beso (Post 11527510)
I wonder if the parents took drugs in the 90s


Well not in my case


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Maru 13-10-2024 04:56 PM

It probably doesn't help the world is ridiculously fast-paced compared to what it used to be. Probably more than it needs to be. And everywhere we turn, something thrown at our feet to worry about or hold anxiety over. Western culture is preoccupied with fear and anxiety these days. If you speak a language that doesn't intersect with the English-speaking world, then it's even more blatant. Everyday, something we must be afraid of... cancer in our bodies, pollutants in the air, financial pressures, climate change... and then people who do have these conditions face their own personal pressures, especially hard at a young age when the brain is still deep in its formation stages... and the younger folk already face waaay too much pressure, imo. Like they're expected to fix things that they certainly are not being given the resources the fix, much less given the space to grow in their own way so that they can even think about tangibly attacking these major problems... much less even basic ones.

I don't think parents or practitioners can really make the world less scary. That's always been a pipe dream. But what we can do is not throw so many obstacles in their way... that's more my concern. I think we the adults need to grow up first before we can start heaping more pressure on the children. I know there's a tendency to pick at the weaknesses in the young, the types of things they're been surrounded by, the habits they're forming... well, guess what, I still hear lots of whinging from just my own generation, and I feel like until that entitlement streak stops, then we can't be major players in assisting the young forward... and if they get it wrong often, well... maybe look in the mirror... we are not great role models, is what I'm trying to say...

This was my TED talk.

Anyway, I don't want to infantilize the HMs. I feel like wherever Ali is neurologically, it's perfectly fine to just judge her as another player in the game. But I guess leave room for strange errors as far as relating to others... on the thread topic, it's not very important to me that she is able to joke or not. With the right company and relationships built in the house, she doesn't need to be the primary entertainment, but a supporting role. We've seen many cases where such an HM makes it through to the final only to grab the win. Whatever I may think of her potential motives (I have her on a solid yellow on the gameplayer radar...), I would not suggest she changes anything about how she's playing the game atm... she's doing really well, in that aspect, because she's forcing us all to guess her actual motives and we're mostly unable to come up with anything. Obviously it's keeping our interest.

ThomasC 13-10-2024 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoldHeart (Post 11527504)
Really ... that's interesting, because what about all those kids & teens who are diagnosed on the spectrum,but their parents don't seem to have any of the conditions themselves ? .

But now thinking about it , could it be the parents I'm talking about have never been diagnosed full stop ,or they just don't have the same symptoms etc...but could still be on the spectrum. It's a difficult one.

Maybe more research needs to be done, but I've noticed more & more young people these days are being diagnosed with either autism or ADHD or both.

Both ADHD and Autism are highly genetic, research already suggests up to 80%. There are also other factors at play such as complications during birth.

You also have to account for masking, women do it better than men. It's a coping technique.

I would suggest that the 'parents' have mastered the art of that. I would also say that if you're not very aware of subtle signs it may pass you.

Better diagnosing.... It's quite jew, autism used to be called schizophrenia and they were known as mentally ill patients......a lot of them would bite, you know what they did? They took your teeth out!! You'd be in a psychiatric asylum... I work in the 'industry'.... lve supported older generations and you can see the signs of institutional abuse (guarding their food etc)... Anyway going off on a tangent, but basically we are better equipped to diagnose, although lately you'll be lucky if anything can be done and a diagnosis can take years

Autism really isn't textbook. If you have met one autistic person, then you have met ONE. Yes, there's a lot of similarities, but not always.

It's quite comprehensive.... Then add in co-morbidities.

Mystic Mock 13-10-2024 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garfie (Post 11527238)
I think that is probably because he is calm, patient, considerate and compassionate as a person. It would make sense for her to be drawn to someone with those characteristics.

Am I the only one that finds Izaaz phony?:laugh:

I'm not saying that he is a horrible person, but he does seem to be a bit of a drip.

Maru 13-10-2024 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock (Post 11528046)
Am I the only one that finds Izaaz phony?:laugh:

I'm not saying that he is a horrible person, but he does seem to be a bit of a drip.

It's like the Hunger Games just started and somebody had to snap him out of it to get his sword & shield... "hey dude, this a game... you playin'?"

Mystic Mock 13-10-2024 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443 (Post 11527242)
Just to add I’m not invested in any one on the show it’s just a watered down version of a once great social experiment

Same here, I'm just enjoying the Show and the Forum.:laugh:

rusticgal 13-10-2024 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock (Post 11528046)
Am I the only one that finds Izaaz phony?:laugh:

I'm not saying that he is a horrible person, but he does seem to be a bit of a drip.


Did he not say he wanted to remain neutral…then went and spilled the beans to Ali :shrug:


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