Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicky.
(Post 9842084)
It can be.
I have quite close friends who (for example) agree with the horrendous ATOS medicals and regularly go on about how many people claiming disability benefits are fakers and such. They moan on about working disabled people being able to claim PIP. Many many awful opinions on the topic. I am disabled and rely on those payments, both when I was able to work and now, when I am not. Occasionally it causes a bit of an argument, if they bring up that **** in my presence. But I still do get on with them, those opinions aside.
My cousin is gay and he is friends with a fair few people who disagree with same sex marriage, and same sex adoption also. Again, this causes arguments at times but he does not stop speaking with them over it.
I guess it just comes down to what kind of person you are and if you can overlook unsavoury views tbh. I wouldn't say my cousin was ignorant. You clearly would. I would say he is just..able to see past peoples views and still get on with them :shrug:
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I agree completely, Vicky. It's near impossible to run into people who aren't hardcoded in some way to be mismatched with social "norms".
The most common example obviously is the people who voted for Donald Trump. I have a friend who said outright they were unwilling to allow our other mutual friend into their home (this friend wasn't told this) over their vote. And yet they still communicate with them in our group chat on a daily basis... (I did have to tell the friend as he was going through major cognitive therapy and didn't need to learn this while he was recovering). We still support that other friend and we acknowledge that some people are not going to just "get it" because we want them to... they are entitled to their response to the election(s) and it's understandable from what we knew from their background why they would feel so strongly against this. (long story short, she is a therapist in an all-women's private mental health facility)
I've had family and doctors who have refused to acknowledge my health problems over the past couple of decades, so I know where you are coming from there. The way I see it, if a friend was willing to listen to my complaints and not knock me down everytime I was trying to get up, then they were being supportive. True maturity and strength comes from being able to stand up for yourself, being your own advocate and not relying on other people's perceptions of you for your sense of sense and your true identity. It's also part of what makes you a good friend, to see people for who
they are, versus how you want them to be seen as...
We will run into thousands of people who will give you a hard time about something, will dismiss your hardships, your trials ,your strengths, etc... much of this is just life. We like to think we have the simple answers to complex questions. For example, I had a PCP that swore up and down my health problems were due to childhood trauma, even despite my not really having "trauma" per say (as much as just hardship), but they pretty much insisted it. :laugh: I'm in recovery now not thanks to his advice, but I understood what he was trying to say... he thought I could "break out" of what I was going through and just simply feel better, as nonsensical as it he was trying to help me, albiet only in his own way.
If I flipped out at every doctor's meeting or every time a friend said something I though was asinine, I wouldn't have had support. Also we don't really grow as people if we surround ourselves only with people who largely agree with us. It is important to be open-minded to other people's perspectives and realize that living your life is more complicated than we give it credit for... especially when you hear people's backstories and realize why they feel the way they do... it's not as simple as they are XYZ label, that's that. That's just what some people say in order to make themselves feel better about the realities of life... that while we are cut from the same cloth (i.e. we are
all human beings), we are each different individuals in our own right.