Corin: You cant think like a looser
Josie: Have you seen that badge up there
C: That was a one off
J: No it's not I've been locked in the bedroom since I got here

:D

To Corin about JJ: Its not like you grabbed and aand sucked him behond a bush or anythink

:shocked::joker:

"I'm cool as a cucumber and you've just made me look like a complete turnip"



"You know what the most dangerous animal is? - Shetland pony, no kidding"



"Oh my God, John, what are you gonna do if the bottle lands on me, you lucky bugger?



Josie: "I like strange looking men..." Caoimhe: "what did your ex look like?"
Josie: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle."




"i'm havin bit of a dilemma myself..... i just had an accident in my panties"




"Times like this I wish I was an ostrich"

don't know if it's been posted but:

"Oi Keevs, I've got a wedge"

and

"I'm a size 18 now, Dave would have you believe"

"I'm doing it for the big girls, I like to think I cater to the other end of the market"

My faves...

On her friends: I said to my friend, he can sell a story if he wants, because he wants to buy a sex swing

On getting old: I don't want to live long, maybe 68

On positive mental attitude (aka the best quote ever): Do you know what, when i'm feeling a bit low I always remember that woman that got her face ripped off by a chimpanzee

On horses: I had these friends at school... when they came round, the horse got a hard-on and chased them round the garden. Chad was his name. He's dead now, bless him.

On her pets: I used to have a billy goat. It wasn't a normal one... he had fire in his eyes

On sex: I didn't realise oral was just with your mouth

On booze: I'm a right randy mare when i've had a few largers

On fashion: I'm not one of those fashion types, because I couldn't give a sh*t. No style, I just wear whats been marked down in the shop

On big nights out: When i'm really out of it, I turn into my alter ego... a cross between a b*tch and Stacey Solomon

On her time in the house: This is the longest detox i've been on since I was 12

On missing Govan: Govan, if you're watching this, then I want my little man back. Try and break through the back door. I'll let you in. Come back to Mummy, quickly.

On pregnancy: Big Bro, I'm up the dufferrrr!

Thanks!:D:hugesmile:.

To Corin: "You're looking pretty darn fine - you should be issued a parking ticket."

Josie tells Laura: "I won't have Davina, I'll have men in white coats waiting for me."

:D

''Andrew, I don't want Social Services knocking at my door, stop it!''


:joker:

classic

"I turn into a randy mare when he touches my arm. He accidentally stroked my boob last night. I thought a firework went off."


TMI:joker:

"Bring it on Pepper, you're messing with the Gibson now"

"You only bin 'ere five mintues, stop messing with my yard"

:D

none of them are funny in the slightest

the chimpanzee quote that she repeats over and over is a gimmick she thought of before she went in

part of her sh***y gameplan

"Look at loverboy, grinning like the cat that got the cream waiting for me"

Josie accuses Sam of putting garlic back in her pillowcases. He comes over and burps very loudly in her face. She shouts: "Sam! Don't do things like that, that's disgusting!" As the two trade jibes,

Josie says: "You're going down. I've got five brothers, I could go all night!"

:joker:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...6525674?ref=ts please join and support josie and invite your friends please xxx

Josie "You know in Thailand they eat cockroaches"

John James "What you trying to say"

J "You'd be pretty nice fried in sugar"

Josie- Dont try to get round me (as he snuggles her neck and kisses her cheek)
John James (into her mic) I love you Josie
Josie- Oh ok then - I'm so easily pulled round

J: ''Not the batty whole''

:joker:

Love this thread! Some classic quotes :)

what was the one when dave was pretty naked, think he'd been getting spray tanned and she got too much of an eyefull when he bent over and said something like

'dave I know your holy but thats taking the piss'

haha!

"Got to put conditioner on my hair or it goes well wild...bit like myself"

:D

"John James looks so angry, sort your boat race out...."

:joker:

Why are you even on this thread if you don't like Josie and don't find any of her quotes funny?
Last time I looked this was a thread for Josie's memorable quotes and these were the ones that made me laugh. Just because your sense of humour is different to mine doesn't give you the right to quote my favourite lines and try and make me feel dumb.
Lighten up.

I agree yellowzebra8. No reason for the haters to even come in here and mock. some are just so obsessed with Josie.

I find her one liners so funny, love this thread :)

"I don't know how I got my job. I haven't got a GSCE. They didn't know that...well they do now."

Lmao:laugh:.

This one is my favourite :D Haha
She better win :)