"You go on holiday and leave Nick Cleg in charge for five minutes..." - I laughed so hard when I saw that.

Fist pumping in church when your favorite hymn comes on

Next week on jeremy kyle - 'i fink my gf cheated whilst i was out rioting

Frank Gallagher to sort out the Manchester riots cause then they'll scatter

Roses are red. FB is blue. You look bangable, so I'll add you

Gluing coconuts to your dog's feet so neighbours think you have a horse

:laugh:

:laugh3:

Lying naked on your floor screaming Adele lyrics at your 27 cats

Wearing a grim reaper suit while standing outside a nursing home

Emotionally breaking down after playing a magnificent triangle solo.

Not looting cause my mum didnt bring me up on turkey dinosaurs and stella.

If her shoes light up, she too young for you bro.

Sticking your dick in a Bread Bag 'cos Condoms don't fit

Overfeeding your dog so it doesnt hassle you for walkies.

Emotionally breaking down on Jeremy Kyle when Graham comes out

The moment of heartbreak when your pet jumps off your bed & leaves the room

Don't worry, I'm an artist...now get naked

Using Wd-40 as lube during sex cus ur a ****in machine

Having absolutely no self-control at a buffet.

'How many drinks have you had tonight sir', "Yeah good thanks"

Moon Walking Through A Riot Because You're A Smooth Criminal

Slags who slag off other slags for being slags

:joker:

Here's my cup of give a ****, \_/ Oh look it's empty, so jog on.

Being a top African and getting the water in for the boys

Violently fist pumping to Adele.

Emotionally breaking down after playing a magnificent triangle solo.

Sometimes i lay on the kitchen floor and pretend to be a crumb.

Painting your child blue so your neighbours think you own a smurf.

Not caring about your education because you fully expect to win the Lottery

:joker:

:laugh3: