I am in a better place to decide if punishment dished out to me personally, was in my own opinion, was acceptable, to me. I was relaying a personal experience and I think I am in a better position to comment on whether I felt that wrong or right or violent. I based that on my own personal experience. Your opinion is your opinion and I could also say that it is irrelevant to mine. That however would be quite disrespectful.


You do seem very intent on continually telling me I am wrong or my opinion is wrong.

I'm afraid you discredit your own opinion by so brazenly claiming it be the only "right" stance. It's a serious subject but you're doing yourself no favours with ridiculous statements like that Jack.

Again.........If you said hitting disabled people was ok, I would tell you you are wrong, If you said hitting elderly people was ok I would tell you you are wrong and If you say hitting children is ok...........I will tell you you are wrong.

And hitting children with implements such as belts, canes or straps is most certainly wrong, infact I think you would wind up in prison if you did that to a child today.

This thread is not discussing hitting elderly people or disabled people though.

I'm not likely to wind up in any prison since I have said repeatedly on here that anything other than a gentle smack today - is unacceptable: an important point which you seem very deliberately to be ignoring.

MTVN has already clearly stated why he feels there is nothing wrong with it either, as have other. . It seems you have some bone to pick with me - given that you are soley addressing only what I have to say on the matter as far as believing there is nothing wrong with a gentle smack. I see you are not addressing any other poster who has commented with the same views as me - why would that be I wonder?

I was joking in that post niamh...

Pyramid, I'm quite sure if you check back along, you'll find that I have addressed other people besides you. Infact, I've replied to : Samuel, Ninastar,08Marsh, lostalex, Arista, Thesheriff, Mr. Luvaluva, Vicky, Bollo, The Mockinator and Kizzy.

I'd also like to point out that it was infact you that originally quoted me, I was simply replying to you so I would appreciate it if you would stop trying to paint such an untrue picture of events.

ok :hugesmile:

Hmm it's not that I see nothing wrong with it exactly, I just don't think whether you choose to smack your kids or not defines you as either a good parent or a bad parent. I see it more as a case of different strokes for different folks than it being objectively right or wrong

I think hitting someone (other than in self defence) is always wrong. I think society has made people think that this rule doesn't apply to young children.........when infact these should be the ones it applies to most of all.

It was self defence, self defence against my tantrums :idc:

:laugh:

Lul. Was gonna do a Google search to see what the rest of the interwebs thought on the subject. Typed in "why is hitting" only for "why is hitting your child bad" to be the top suggestion :/

lol pretty emotive subject I think

Yeah, but the fact people are having to ask the interwebs why hitting your child is wrong... should be pretty self evident.

It's a shame that many people have to ask really....

you would think so anyway

if you can bring your children up without smacking them then thats fine by me but if you have to smack your children that does not make you a monster

Let's start at the beginning Niamh, and I'll reply to you stating I am painting such an untrue picture of events.

You created this thread - it would therefore be reasonable that I should reply to you at some point, given that you started the thread - which was indeed an interesting one.

What is more interesting is that you started your opening post and you asked : Right or Wrong? and then asked for peoples thoughts.

People then gave you their thoughts. When anyone gave their own different stance - you didn't want to know their thoughts, other than to tell them they were wrong. In my own case I made it clear the distinction I made in a gentle smack, and specifically, where I felt it was acceptable, and did so as well as did other posters, several times over and over again.

You vehemently refused to accept anyone elses opinion as being 'right' - preferring instead to tell those who didn't share your view,, that they were wrong, and repeatedly (quote above as one of several examples) .

To ask what people think of a subject: to specifically ask Right or Wrong; then not respect their opinion or view when it is given : If you felt there was no other answer other than your own, then why ask the question in the first place if all you were going to do was dismiss anything anyone else had to say on the subject?

I'm not entirely sure why you wanted to discuss what other people thought of the subject of smacking children, when you aren't prepared to accept someone elses point of view without deriding it or them (by saying they needed help etc) - regardless of how much you disagree with it.?

What was the point in you asking ''Right or Wrong'' if then all you intended doing was telling others they were wrong? That's not leaving much room for discussion and imo, defeats the purpose of healthy serious debating. :conf:

So, you are allowed to dismiss other peoples opinions, but I'm not...........interesting.


Really? as disrespectful as saying someones opinion is "Utter Nonsense"?


I did actually answer that in a previous post, infact I answered that in two previous posts (one directly to you) but I will repost them :

I only referred to being hit by a strap after you brought it up.

If you don't like the way I am arguing my points in this thread, then don't reply to me Pyramid, please don't try to make out I have some sort of vendetta against you. I have disagreed with many people in this thread yet you're the only one who accused me of this.

just because i believe that hitting children is wrong does not mean that i think all parents (including my own) who have hit their children are MONSTERS. i don't even think it means they are bad parents.

I think it's the wrong thing to do, but everyone has done the wrong thing, and i'm not saying i think all parents that have hit their children are horrible parents, or monsters. Giving your children junk food is also the wrong thing to do, but it doesn't make the parents monsters. I just want to make that clear.


It is the wrong thing to do though.

I agree.

Oh and one last thing Pyramid, do I disagree with everyone as you state here :

People then gave you their thoughts. When anyone gave their own different stance - you didn't want to know their thoughts, other than to tell them they were wrong. In my own case I made it clear the distinction I made in a gentle smack, and specifically, where I felt it was acceptable, and did so as well as did other posters, several times over and over again.

Or is it just you as you've accused me of here :

It seems you have some bone to pick with me - given that you are soley addressing only what I have to say on the matter as far as believing there is nothing wrong with a gentle smack. I see you are not addressing any other poster who has commented with the same views as me - why would that be I wonder?

There's no need to smack a little kid. Discipline out of fear is only detrimental to the child's relationship with the parent. My cousins used to get smacked by one of my aunts and they absolutely hated her for it and used to get real upset - we went to Disney World with them nice (my Dad and I that is), and my aunt slapped my cousin (who was 16 at the time) in the middle of the theme park. My cousin started crying and she was really embarrassed. There's no need.

My parents have never smacked or used physical force to make me do things and I always abided by and respected their rules (for the most part anyway). They always used to explain to me where I went wrong after I was punished for it and I understood not to do the wrong thing in future and all that. Smacking the kid isnt liable to help them understand what they did wrong and why they shouldn't do it, but that they shouldn't do something for fear that they'll be hurt. It's wrong. A child should never be fearful of their parent.

You've made your points well and you were not being offensive. IMO. You've said your peace eloquently Niamh. :)

Thank You Alex :)

I'd have slapped the bitch back into oblivion.

Let's try and not misquote things.

My 'utter nonsense' was in reply to the part of 'thesheriffs' post below: it is utter nonsense to state that a person is not in a position to really know how you would bring up a child - you don't have to be a parent to have an opinion on smacking (or in how you view bringing up a child) and I replied why - because one doesn't have to have experience, having already been a child and grown to maturity. No that is not disrespectful: it is factual - it is utter nonsense to state that a person has to be a parent to be in a position to comment on such a subject as smacking.

I note that you completely dismissed (ignored) my post/question in respect of if the child does not respond to being grounded, spoken to etc: and grows up to rebel, to disrespect others etc: how then would you tackle that if words and your normal way of discipline had failed?

I do feel you have been very dismissive of anyone who doesn't share your view: that is my opinion - to the point that you have in fact been insulting when referring to those who smack children as 'needing help'. That is a highly derogatory statement to make and others on the thread have also made replied to that particular comment that you made.

I do feel that you are being very aggressive in your posts on this thread - that is my opinion. You may not view it as that because of the very medium that this is: I may be viewing it differently also: but I can only state what I am reading: and when comments such as 'anyone who smacks their child needs help'' - that is not a passive comment, that is in it's own right, an aggressive statement and is insulting to others.

:laugh:

That's not really much of a contribution to a serious debates thread Marc.

Could probably argue the same thing about you tbh :laugh:

:eek: Baiting from a mod? :nono:

Oh I'm not baiting, that would be against the rules.

Thank you 08Marsh.

In your opinion, not in his. Regardless of what you think about his opinion you still disregarded..........in a much more insulting way then I did yours might I add.

Not by hitting it anyway that's for sure :conf:

You're the only one who seems to think I've been aggressive in this thread Pyramid. I can assure you I'm not an aggressive person. I do feel like you've given me no choice but to defend myself though after firstly accusing me of only responding to your posts and having "a bone to pick with you" ...........and then saying that I've been telling everyone they're wrong "several times over and over again." Which is it, I'm confused?:conf:

You HAVE quite categorically stated several times that some people on here are wrong, and I quote you: "I am right". Your subjective opinion is not a fact, it is a subjective opinion only.

Do you think that telling people on here - forum members and forum members who have stated that their parent smacked them - that 'they need help' is not hostile, aggressive and an insulting comment?

You still have not answered my question as to how you would deal with an unruly child that does not respond to your method of discipline - other than say: "Not by hitting it anyway". how would you deal with such a child?

I am right, is stating my opinion, I neither think it's hostile, aggressive or insulting.

Now would you like to tell me why you felt the need to accuse me of basically harassing you and only replying to your posts in one post.........then a couple of posts later said I replied to numerous people? I don't like being accused of harassing people, it's not my style.

Did I say you were harassing me? No, I did not say that. The manner of your posts to me has (imo) been unecessarily aggressive. That's my opinion and I am right about how I feel your replies have been to me.

I am quite stunned that you feel it is acceptable for you to state that fms on here and their parents (who do not disagree with smacking) need help. I'm surprised it's been allowed tbh, but there you have it. I will of course know in future that to state such a thing, is not viewed as insulting, that it is allowed, and I will be content in the knowledge that I can say the same in future without being concerned that I am insulting anyone.

If anything, there's a bit of good that's come from this thread.

If anything Pyramid, I feel like you are hounding me, considering you were the one who first replied to one of my posts and then accused me of and I quote : "It seems you have some bone to pick with me - given that you are soley addressing only what I have to say on the matter as far as believing there is nothing wrong with a gentle smack. I see you are not addressing any other poster who has commented with the same views as me - why would that be I wonder? "

This of course turned out to be untrue, you put me in a position where I felt like I had to go through the thread and list every other person I'd replied to, to prove that I was not infact only replying to your posts, I had infact replied to numerous other people.

You also, told me to stop replying to you because we were going round in circles, can I ask why you didn't just stop quoting me if you felt this way? Why the need to carry on quoting me?

I have as much right to quote anyone who posts on a thread - just as you have Niamh.

I stated several times over the extent to which I felt smacking was acceptable, and where it was not - yet still you maintained YOU were right and I was not. It is not a matter of who is right or who is wrong; it is a difference of opinion and each others opinions should be respected, regardless: which you appear not to be accepting - other than continuing to reiterate "I am right".

As I mentioned earlier: if the point is not to discuss and accept other opinions - and that means accepting them - you dont' have to agree with them, but to continually state one person is right and the other is wrong, is not a debate: it is a one sided arguement. That is and has been my point all along.

If you continue to reply to my posts Niamh, then I will say to you the same - I reserve the right to respond to them. It takes two to tango.

You still seem unable to answer how else you would discipline a child if your own disciplinary measures failed: that is not me hounding you: it is me trying to establish what other disciplinary measures you would use if your preferred methods don't or won't work. If the child does not respond to them.

I ask, not because I am hounding you, but because this is meant to be a discussion and I am interested in your reply.

And I did not tell you to stop replying to me, if you can find where I said that: I'll be the first to apologise - but I believe I said no such thing.

No one said you didn't Pyramid but don't then accuse me of having a bone to pick with you because I replied to you.

I did not agree with your examples because I always think hitting children is wrong.


Respond away Pyramid but don't try to make out I have some issue with you and you're the only one I'm responding to, because I am doing the same.


Well, I have two children and they have always responded well to the ways I discipline them, if they didn't I would cross that bridge but I would never ever hit them because I believe hitting little children is wrong.........that would not change ever.

I didn't say you were hounding me because of points you made about the topic, I said it for continually accusing me of being aggressive and saying that you thought I had some bone to pick with you.