ew i just take things too far sometimes

I'll go straight back home then. :umm2:

You do, please no more early morning declarations of your sex life please.

:umm2:

i don't have a sex life i am kind of like that snake thing from harry potter: the chamber of secrets like i just emerge every 50 years or so but instead of eating people i suck dick

Scott Potter and the Chamber of the Sucking Basilisk

It's good for diabetics too, got sugar in apparently :shrug:

Same tbh, I was on a roll with dick for a while, but haven't had any since May, I'm in hibernation.

I am saving myself for marriage

i wish i had a bf like imagine having dick on tap

Sounds like heaven.. But never mind a bf, I want a tap which supplied endless hot guys who were interested in me tbh.

:umm2:

Although, they wouldn't even need to be hot, just have a dick and a pulse and be over 18 and I'd be happy.

i have a dick and a pulse

buy me alcohol and we'll talk

I'll buy you vodka if you meet me behind mcdonalds for a nosh, deal?

yall joking but that is something i would do irl

Bitch that's something I have done irl, minus the alcohol.

I went to McDonald's earlier and I meant to say chicken legend but I ordered chicken selects instead :sad:

last year when i did stuff with this guy and he gave me 2 pills welp

like i didn't do it for the pills but he offered i think he was a dealer or s/t

i just sat in plug all night with josy and roy listening to some 4 hour dj set

that was a surreal experience

My boyfriend gave me my first alcohol, but it was nasty, so there's that.

:joker:

I tried poppers for the first time this year, they were weird and I nearly threw up all over the guy.

i love embarrasing sex stories tbh :flutter:

my worst doesn't even involve sex i was at this guys house and i was supposed to be staying over but i got too drunk and vomited on him/his sofa oop

Same, I've only got two but both involve puke :joker:

they are so **** :umm2:

i found some in my drawer the other day they just gave me a banging headache