:joker:

''tug me off bea,''

''come on bea its not gunna suck itself''

''Wouldn't it be brilliant if you had mouths all over your body''

''dyou know what, im the type of hero that could teach my dick to suck itself, thats how ****ing great i am''

PMSL!! :laugh3::laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

this guy must know he is comedy gold!!!!!!!!!!

PMSROFLMAO

That made me laugh out loud, and never a truer word spoken. Great stuff.

Loved what he said about his mum...something about why is she in the house, she should be at work...cant remeber the quote...Im crap :whistle:

"What does your mum look like, Marcus?"

"She was probably the one that looked most like a skeleton. That's probably why they chose her."

ROFL!

When Big Brother played the really loud crowd noise after someone shouted over the fence, Marcus and Rodrigo were walking past each other in the living room and Marcus started chanting:

"Get Rodrigo out! Get Rodrigo out!"

bastard bea!

:laugh2:

"BB" If you had to sack someone who would it be

"Marcus" You

:thumbs:

Some crackers tonight

Thats it Bea snatch it right out off my hand you ****ing **** LMAO

Some great photos there from the Irrepressible Dark Horse *or something like that*

Brilliant :thumbs2:

I bet I'l have seven hundred million billion (On how many emails he will have when he gets out) :bigsmile:

I'll try and update the thread in a couple of days, but there are so many to add and I really can't be asked tonight, lol.

My favourite was the ''I have a Siamese called Abdul. He is a little ****" xxxxx

Dear Rockchick.
Thank you for my letter. I'm glad someone appriciates me unlike the production team bastards. Sorry to hear about your accident. I hope all is well now. Glad to hear you like cats, I have siamese called Abdul. He is a little ****. I would like to write more but the aforementioned production team bastards are telling me my time is up.
All the ****ing best.
Marcus

"There's something there and you want it, and you can't have it and now you're pissing and moaning as usual. ****ing Bea, bloody bonkers Bea. Shut your ****ing cakehole bonkers Bea for once in your life"

Sophie: "You need anger management you swear so much"

Marcus "**** off!"

I had to sign up to this forum just to post this - the guy is a legend!!

Upon hearing that his Mom had been on BB, for David to identify in the Mummy task:

"My ****ing mother?! Hahaaa, whats she ****ing doing on Big Bother? She should be doing some ****ing work, not coming on here. ****ing old mingebag."

Love him!

i'm the ultimate z list celebrity

lol i didn't hear that, imagine david saying that

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZH7r30w7dxc

does anyone else find this insanely funny. its not accurate or anything and most of it isnt funny, but just how aggressively he says "you bunch of ****ing wankers" cracks me up.

When given task to clean up house he tells HM

"BB reminds HM not to drink the bleach"

Got this from DS from Saturdays HL show, its brilliant:

Marcus "I'm taking my ******in chocolate with me!"
Bea "You're taking your chocolate with you?"
Marcus "Yeah I am!"
Bea "You greedy bastard!"
Marcus "****** OFF!" (the way he says it - pmsl )
Bea "Would you not leave it for people??"
Marcus "No - I want it!"
Bea "you can get plenty outside!"
Marcus "But I want that one!"
Bea "What's that one?"

Pause

Marcus "You're not going to begrudge me that are you Bea?!"
Bea "Well you shouldn't even have those!"
Marcus "Yeah, because that was the one for me - there wasn't a communial one cause everyone else had fa... DONT tell me whats what BEA!"
Bea "I still think its tight as a ******in fish's arse that you're just gonna take ..." ( pmsl )
Marcus "No - it's because there's something there and you want it and you cant have it so now you're pissing and moaning. As usual. ******in Bea. Bloody bonkers Bea. Shut your ******in cakehole bonkers Bea for once in yer life!!"
Bea "He's smuggling out his chocolate instead of leaving it for the people left behind."
Marcus "I'm not smuggling nothing out. I'm taking it out because I like it."
Bea "I think thats absolutely disgusting. Completely ******ing in character!"
Marcus "half a bar of ******in chocolate - I ask you whats the ******in world coming to?"

Marcus: 'I think she's pretty, she talks like a man, but...I can live with that..." About Lucy Pinder :bigsmile:

"I think Im going to call him Alfonze!" About the head in the House of Horrors task.

pure Brilliant :hello:

Someone sticky these words of Wisdom :love:

Lol, I'd love to see him on QI or 8 out of 10 cats or something!!
Would be brilliant!

I couldn't agree more! :cheer2:

This thread is made of pure win.

"you look like the geezer out of the monster munch advert"

:dazzler: Bump :dazzler:

"Do you want gangster slapping"

I sent him the quotes on the first page in an email.

"it's like someone's cut my arsecheeks open and put in 2 golf balls of pain"

Sophie: "Am I a barbie girl?"
Marcus: "No you're too fat."

Sophie: "Can I have your can aswell?"
Marcus: "You can **** off"

"I can do backflips, wallflips, somersaults, everrryyythinggg"

"I could tell you things that you could study, say 10 years at university and you still wouldnt be able to match my intellect"

Someone should email a link to this thread to his website.

Done that about an hour or two ago. :hugesmile:

:thumbs: Wonder what he will make of it

I doubt he'll read it. He did after all say he'd recieve ''700 million billion emails'' :laugh2:

lol

:laugh::laugh::laugh: