ThisisBigBrother.com - UK TV Forums - Discribe A Member With A Smiley

The Jeremy Kyle show
http://formulaic.100yen.co.uk/wp-con...le_342x262.jpg

*walks through the crowd* shakes Billy, Doubletrouble and supernoodles's hands

Welcome to the Jeremy Kyle show everyone.Today's topic is:
Keeping it in the family:The Gruesome truth!

We meet up with some of the results of the quite awful thing known as inbreeding.We will try to understand the problems that those who are born as a result of in-breeding suffer and try and get them the help that they deserve.They will also get the chance to confront those who have left them in such a state and understand just why they couldn't actually resist the temptation to have unprotected sex with a close member of their own family.

Now is the time to meet our first guests.Twin brothers who are the result of this in-breeding!

Welcome Shawn and John onto the show everybody!

http://johnfrommelt.tripod.com/images/inbred.jpg

Afternoon lads.Thanks for coming on the show.I know it must be quite difficult to actually show your unsymmetrical faces in public but here's your chance to give your side of the story to all those lazy sods watching you at home.

Firstly I'd like to ask how you've been effected by being born an inbred?

Shawn-Well as you can see Jez, we aren't exactly hunks of burning love.I've got flippers instead of hands, a brain the size of a peanut and 33 toes.
John-I'm pretty much the same Jeremy.I've got just the 32 toes though and an overgrown tongue.My hair is also parted down the back of my head.

JK-Well you wouldn't exactly win Mr.universe but I'm sure you've got lovely personalties lads and you lead happy lives.

Shawn-You've got to be joking pal, we are told that we are stupid to even work as lollipop men
John-We have to put up with up taunts from people all the time we go out in public, being compared to quazimodo ain't no fun huhuherrr, sorry about that I'm mildly retarted.

JK-So what you're saying is you look and feel like crap? Do you feel any sympathy for your parents, having kids like you cannot be easy.

Shawn-I feel nothing of the sort for them.They are rotten people!
John-When they were having a quickie in the back-seat of their tractor after a few too many ciders they never thought of what might happen, this for me is just a disgace.

JK-Disgrace mate, the word is disgrace.Well we've heard from you guys now it's time to get your parents out here.Remember audience there's two sides to every story.Oh screw it boo them!

*crowd chucks carrots at the parents* as the secruity guards move the chairs away from the inbred twins.

Cj man and his wife Chancy are on the show.
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionC...6060/boots.JPG

JK-Well welcome to the show you irresponsible pair.

Cj-Thank y'all for having us

JK-No bother.What I want to know is why?! Why did you have sex with your sister?

Cj-Well Jeremy.I couldn't afford a condom and I weren't getting laid no other way.

JK-Don't you think that is a tad selfish? One thing I will say is ,you're brave for coming on national television in front of millions upon millions of people today to admit that you have slept with your sister and that's the first step, and the hardest step before going on the road to recovery.

Cj-I ain't got nothing to be ashamed of! I love her and she loves me, what's the problem?

JK-The problem is that you've produced a couple of slack jawed yokels with teeth that would cut through metal.What do you think to that?

Cj-I honestly couldn't care less.They are just a couple of unfortunate mistakes

*Shawn gets up and bites Cj with his one tooth before security separates them*

JK-I understand that you're upset but I wont have violence on my show! Now have you got something you'd like to ask your parents?

John-Why did you abandon us?

Chancy-I had no choice, who wants to bring up a pair like you?

JK-You're a liar on national television madame, to say that you had no choice makes me sick.I didn't come to your dressing room, d'ya know why? Cause you DISGUST me! I'm just being honest babe.
I'm going to see what the audience thinks.
*some randomer stands up* Can I just say....

JK-No you cant, this is my show! You're just a namby pamby liberal who let rapists live in women's changing rooms!

Chancy-Oh shut up you self involved piece of crap Jeremy.

Excuse me madam. This is my show. That's my name on the wall, I'm talking now. Sit down, shut up and let me speak, or get off my stage.

Chancy-Fine we are leaving, come along Cj there's pokemon to play with!

JK-What is wrong with you people? Get a life, get a job and stop scrounging off me, and all of the other innocent tax payers of this country! Now get off my stage! Your inbred kids don't even need scum like you.

*roll titles*