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Z 15-07-2011 02:55 AM

I need advice
 
I've accidentally fallen hard for somebody who I only got to spend three weeks with before summer, a one hour time zone difference and a lurking ex tore us apart. Then the ex disappeared and I was more than happy to continue where it left off. I'm working for a company whose line of work means that there's a chance I could be flown out and could meet up, but my rate of pay is also very good so it's more likely that I'll get a cheap flight out instead once I've been paid enough. My only problem is that, well, I don't even know how to go about explaining to my parents what I intend on doing.

I'm not the kind of person who can just disappear with no questions asked, and I just can't lie, if I'm faced with a difficult question then I'll evade it but almost never lie unless I have good reason to. I'm studying German, I'd be flying to Germany, my plan is to kind of put it across as a good opportunity to speak the language informally and socialise with German people for a week, and that much is true, I just worry that if I bring it up they'll ask lots of questions. How do I go about this? Do I just up and leave and come up with answers later?

It's funny, I've told my bosses at work all about my wish to go over there and they think it's a really good idea, and they're friends with my parents too, so I've no idea why it's so difficult for me to just tell my parents the exact same story. I won't be lying, I just won't be telling them everything, because I don't think they need to know and I really hate sharing personal matters with people at the best of times, least of all with my parents when it comes to somebody I think I'm actually in love with that they won't be able to meet for a very long time, should it last that long.

Life's never easy, is it? Siiiiigh.

Stu 15-07-2011 03:02 AM

Looks like you already have your answer. Just pump your chest out and go tell them already. Lifes all about doing crazy stuff like this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zee
my plan is to kind of put it across as a good opportunity to speak the language informally and socialise with German people for a week


Shaun 15-07-2011 03:02 AM

It depends how long you'd be out there for I guess - if it's for a couple of weeks or something (or less) I don't think they'd really ask too many questions - but if it's months then I guess so :p GREG I CAN'T STAY LONG I HAVE A MOLE TASK TO DO WE'LL CATCH UP OVER BRUNCH OK

Zippy 15-07-2011 03:03 AM

You don't have to tell your parents everything. Just be economical with the truth. Or just lie. Theyre your parents, they'll forgive anything.

Pyramid* 15-07-2011 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zippy (Post 4375536)
You don't have to tell your parents everything. Just be economical with the truth. Or just lie. Theyre your parents, they'll forgive anything.

BIB. and they tend to do it all the more when it's concerning matters of the heart.... we've all been there and know how it feels.

Good luck!!:blush:

Marc 15-07-2011 07:25 AM

Parents are accepting of anything. Go for it! It can be like a film :love:

Niamh. 15-07-2011 10:29 AM

Yeah, You don't need to tell them everything about it just yet Greg, If and when they find just tell them that you didn't want to tell them and answer all the questions till you were 100% sure about it. They'll understand that

arista 15-07-2011 10:39 AM

Spunky

Z 15-07-2011 05:23 PM

It'd only be for a week. Ryanair do return flights for just under £140, by the end of next week I'll have definitely earned well over that amount and would be looking to book a flight in early August. I'm actually pathetic whenever it comes to decision making, I have to be pushed into doing things or let other people do it for me hahaha.

Jords 15-07-2011 05:28 PM

Your going for a week what harm could it do? Go go go! Have you told her about it and does she want you to go? Because if she said yes then that should be your 'push' if you think youre in love :)

Also about the parents, if you dont like lying just tell them this - ''my plan is to kind of put it across as a good opportunity to speak the language informally and socialise with German people for a week''. You wont be lying, just not telling them everything ;)

But seriously lying isnt always a bad thing, I cant see them minding though if you did tell them all your plans!

Pyramid* 15-07-2011 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zee (Post 4376861)
It'd only be for a week. Ryanair do return flights for just under £140, by the end of next week I'll have definitely earned well over that amount and would be looking to book a flight in early August. I'm actually pathetic whenever it comes to decision making, I have to be pushed into doing things or let other people do it for me hahaha.

Zee. A word from an older fm. Sometimes you have to just take a chance and run with it. If you don't - you will never know - and will always wonder, "What if.... "

What is the very worst that could happen? Would it have any serious or lasting impact if it went wrong? If not: then to hell... go for it.

Shaun 15-07-2011 09:06 PM

Zee. A word from someone pretty much your age, and therefore obviously stupid and unimportant.

Go for it. :love:

Vicky. 15-07-2011 09:07 PM

Just tell them. Wont be as bad as you think

I'll never forget the look on my parents' face when I told them I was moving to greece in a week and would see them in 6 months :o

Thats a bit different though :laugh:

Pyramid* 15-07-2011 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaun (Post 4377521)
Zee. A word from someone pretty much your age, and therefore obviously stupid and unimportant.

Go for it. :love:

Absolutely no need for the thinly veiled sarcasm either.

Shaun 15-07-2011 09:10 PM

Sorry I just don't see the point in pretending you're better than every other piece of advice because you've had a few more ****ing birthdays.

joeysteele 15-07-2011 09:13 PM

I never give advice on personal matters but all I will say is, if you really want to do something,if it feels right to you and there are more plusses than minusses in your mind as to it,then if you don't go for it, you will always wonder, what if...?

Good luck Zee, hope all works out for you.

Pyramid* 15-07-2011 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaun (Post 4377536)
Sorry I just don't see the point in pretending you're better than every other piece of advice because you've had a few more ****ing birthdays.


Possiby because I've learned, having had more birthdays - and learned from my mistakes... ie: having not taken a chance on something like Zee has mentioned: and lived to regret it.

It's called experience: it's nothing to do with being better than anyone else. If anyone appears to have some superior attitude showing here - it is you. Not I.

(no need for the expletives.. the message gets over just as clearly)

Shaun 15-07-2011 09:27 PM

WELL OKAY THEN.

Greg, a word from a younger fm.
silly things! juveniles! inexperience! stupidity!

No superiority complex my ****ing arse.

Shaun 15-07-2011 09:27 PM

WELL OKAY THEN.

Greg, a word from a younger fm.
silly things! juveniles! inexperience! stupidity!

No superiority complex my ****ing arse.

hannah. 16-07-2011 01:29 AM

hehe I've done loads of stuff (not really I'm just saggy, especially in the vaginal region) so I know ****.


anyway Greg I'd tell them straight off if I were you. one at a time depending on who you get on with better. then they can discuss (and argue) it amongst themselves. they can't stop you. but when it comes to parents honesty is the best policy.

Vicky. 16-07-2011 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hannah. (Post 4378411)
hehe I've done loads of stuff (not really I'm just saggy, especially in the vaginal region) so I know ****.


anyway Greg I'd tell them straight off if I were you. one at a time depending on who you get on with better. then they can discuss (and argue) it amongst themselves. they can't stop you. but when it comes to parents honesty is the best policy.

D:

How random :laugh2:

hannah. 16-07-2011 01:51 AM

it was aimed at a particular member vix. *opens self for infraction*

Pyramid* 16-07-2011 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hannah. (Post 4378464)
it was aimed at a particular member vix. *opens self for infraction*

Nice. Openly admitting to insulting other members. WTF. :rolleyes:

Jessica. 16-07-2011 05:33 AM

It's not your parent's life, it's yours, if it feels right, then do it. :D If you regret not telling them the reason then you can just tell them when they get home, I'm sure they'll understand.

Z 16-07-2011 09:57 PM

I told them that I plan to go to Frankfurt and they were cool with it :D! Now to just get confirmation that the dates I'm wanting to go out are fine, get paid and book them! Ahhhh!


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