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-   -   domestic abuse refuges women 7500 - men 60? (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=322359)

the truth 29-06-2017 12:24 AM

domestic abuse refuges women 7500 - men 60?
 
Just saw yet another sickeningly sexist radical feminist bbc report on domestic violence...They discussed only women ...They talked about and to only women...They reported only about the female refuges..They did not mention males at all in the report.

Studies have showed that over 40% of domestic violence victims are men, yet men are not allowed to ring the national domestic abuse helpline...There are 60 refuges across the Uk for men and 7500 for women publicly funded

The feminists who create this unfair system profit from it, the more we treat women and ignore male victims the more the official figures and costs get skewed. This is another national disgrace and wholly sexist against men

They say men should talk more open up and express themselves more...well who to? when no one cares about their suffering?

No wonder male suicides are at an all time high across the entire western world and no one is doing a damned thing about it

https://www.theguardian.com/society/...estic-violence

Marsh. 29-06-2017 12:35 AM

There are male only helplines too. Stop being silly.

the truth 29-06-2017 12:49 AM

not the national domestic line which is what I am talking about , the male ones are tiny some are only open a few hours a week, stop trivialising male domestic abuse, now stop being silly

user104658 29-06-2017 08:25 AM

I think part of what you need to acknowledge though, Truth, is that men are far less likely to come forward if they are in an abusive relationship - or if they need help in many other ways - because doing so is seen as "weak" and "not manly". In my experience, the people furthering that sort of thinking the most is other men. e.g. Piers Morgan and his "they need to man up" comments. The majority of the time that's a very MALE mindset.

Marsh. 29-06-2017 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 9406177)
not the national domestic line which is what I am talking about , the male ones are tiny some are only open a few hours a week, stop trivialising male domestic abuse, now stop being silly

Come back when male domestic abuse is as rife as women's and I'll personally open more refuges.

Fact is, they'll only have open enough that are needed. If male domestic abuse rises, they'll change accordingly.

So stop trying to play male victim at every turn.

Livia 29-06-2017 12:50 PM

I might just add that there will be a percentage of male domestic abuse victims who will have been injured by their same sex partner.

user104658 29-06-2017 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh. (Post 9407017)
Come back when male domestic abuse is as rife as women's and I'll personally open more refuges.

Fact is, they'll only have open enough that are needed. If male domestic abuse rises, they'll change accordingly.

So stop trying to play male victim at every turn.

To be fair I do have to cautiously edge towards Truth on this one: Female-on-Male domestic abuse is rife, especially emotional abuse. Studies show approx 50/50, though less likely to result in death or serious injury. Less physical abuse in general, though that exists too; mainly because of the stigma of male-on-female violence. Where women won't retaliate against a violent man for fear of being physically overpowered and hurt badly, men often won't retaliate or defend themselves out of fear of how that will be perceived. Likewise men are less likely to admit to being abused out of a fear of appearing "weak" or being ridiculed which, sadly, does happen.

However, like I said, the main problem is men not coming forward in the first place... not a lack of resources for them to turn to. It's a sort of "supply and demand" situation really... men aren't seeking help in the first place for resources to be put into providing it. And again, the main reason that men won't come forward is actually because of the reactions of other men; a man's female friends are (statistically) far more likely to be sympathetic and understanding of a male coming forward to report abuse than their male friends.

So really the number one issue, long before providing resources, is changing that "guys should be emotionally robust and physically tough and it's shameful not to be those things" mindset that is common in basically every culture in the world. There's also a perception that emotional abuse is "less serious" than physical abuse, when actually the damage to an individual can be staggering.

I think this is one situation where Truthey is identifying a genuine problem, but pointing the blame cannon in the wrong direction and looking for solutions in the wrong places.

the truth 29-06-2017 01:39 PM

more money should be pumped in and the bbc and national refuges should not be excluding men from their helplines and reports. further the police attitudes are often pathetic where a lot of overstretched police depots simply don't have the time resources to take male victims seriously

Livia 29-06-2017 01:47 PM

There should be tougher consequences, I think, for people who are abusive to their partners. Maybe a three strikes system? Where your third strike would get you ten years. There's no excuse for being violent to another person, male or female. If there's one place you should feel safe and secure it's in your own home.

Ashley. 29-06-2017 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 9406081)
Just saw yet another sickeningly sexist radical feminist bbc report on domestic violence...They discussed only women ...They talked about and to only women...They reported only about the female refuges..They did not mention males at all in the report.

Studies have showed that over 40% of domestic violence victims are men, yet men are not allowed to ring the national domestic abuse helpline...There are 60 refuges across the Uk for men and 7500 for women publicly funded

The feminists who create this unfair system profit from it, the more we treat women and ignore male victims the more the official figures and costs get skewed. This is another national disgrace and wholly sexist against men

They say men should talk more open up and express themselves more...well who to? when no one cares about their suffering?

No wonder male suicides are at an all time high across the entire western world and no one is doing a damned thing about it

And you're blaming women for that?

People care about men just as they do women. There are systems built around helping them, and nobody is ignoring the high suicide rate for males. The official figures are not skewed, it's just that men are taught to suppress their feelings rather than express them. It is vital that we tackle this issue before anything else.

the truth 29-06-2017 02:03 PM

I agree but are we getting the actual truth? The trouble is the police the judicial system and everyone else must not be biased , they must listen equally to both genders. Just because a man is 3 inches taller and a stone heavier on average doesnt mean hes the perpetrator. Have you ever known a man report an abusive woman and she is arrested and locked up? Its a pretty rare occasion. Abuse happens in many ways, controlling threatening behaviour, financially too, deliberately racking up huge bills, or destroying peoples property? These are all crimes that must be taken more seriously and destroy peoples lives too

Northern Monkey 29-06-2017 02:48 PM

There probably wasn't a need for it back when they were created but now we're in the days of men becoming more feminine and women getting more butch we're seeing a rise in geezer-birds smacking the males who are scared to stand up for themselves because they'll get arrested for hitting back.The system needs to catchup with the times.

Northern Monkey 29-06-2017 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 9407141)
There should be tougher consequences, I think, for people who are abusive to their partners. Maybe a three strikes system? Where your third strike would get you ten years. There's no excuse for being violent to another person, male or female. If there's one place you should feel safe and secure it's in your own home.

So like - Left hook,right hook *boom jail!

Vicky. 29-06-2017 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier (Post 9407038)
To be fair I do have to cautiously edge towards Truth on this one: Female-on-Male domestic abuse is rife, especially emotional abuse. Studies show approx 50/50, though less likely to result in death or serious injury. Less physical abuse in general, though that exists too; mainly because of the stigma of male-on-female violence. Where women won't retaliate against a violent man for fear of being physically overpowered and hurt badly, men often won't retaliate or defend themselves out of fear of how that will be perceived. Likewise men are less likely to admit to being abused out of a fear of appearing "weak" or being ridiculed which, sadly, does happen.

However, like I said, the main problem is men not coming forward in the first place... not a lack of resources for them to turn to. It's a sort of "supply and demand" situation really... men aren't seeking help in the first place for resources to be put into providing it. And again, the main reason that men won't come forward is actually because of the reactions of other men; a man's female friends are (statistically) far more likely to be sympathetic and understanding of a male coming forward to report abuse than their male friends.

So really the number one issue, long before providing resources, is changing that "guys should be emotionally robust and physically tough and it's shameful not to be those things" mindset that is common in basically every culture in the world. There's also a perception that emotional abuse is "less serious" than physical abuse, when actually the damage to an individual can be staggering.

I think this is one situation where Truthey is identifying a genuine problem, but pointing the blame cannon in the wrong direction and looking for solutions in the wrong places.

Indeed.

I don't see why men would be excluded from a helpline though tbh. I find that very odd and kind of want to see this report myself as I cannot understand how a national domestic abuse helpline could exclude half the country...

I totally understand female only shelters and such and understand why there are more of them than male ones. Usually, females set them up to help other females who are terrified of males as they have been abused. Excluding male people from those areas is completely right I think as females go there to escape and even the mere sight of a male could be scary right after being attacked.

Yes there should be more shelters for males, BUT..how many males are actually seriously injured or mentally scarred enough to have to use a shelter? Again we probably do not known because males bottle it all up for fear of being seen as 'not a man' and such.

Basically, until males attitudes towards themselves and other males changes, this problem will still be here. Its not the fault of 'feminists' who wish to help females who actually ask for help.

Kizzy 29-06-2017 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey (Post 9407386)
There probably wasn't a need for it back when they were created but now we're in the days of men becoming more feminine and women getting more butch we're seeing a rise in geezer-birds smacking the males who are scared to stand up for themselves because they'll get arrested for hitting back.The system needs to catchup with the times.

Men becoming more feminine... What you mean weak?

Marsh. 29-06-2017 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier (Post 9407038)
To be fair I do have to cautiously edge towards Truth on this one: Female-on-Male domestic abuse is rife, especially emotional abuse. Studies show approx 50/50, though less likely to result in death or serious injury. Less physical abuse in general, though that exists too; mainly because of the stigma of male-on-female violence. Where women won't retaliate against a violent man for fear of being physically overpowered and hurt badly, men often won't retaliate or defend themselves out of fear of how that will be perceived. Likewise men are less likely to admit to being abused out of a fear of appearing "weak" or being ridiculed which, sadly, does happen.

However, like I said, the main problem is men not coming forward in the first place... not a lack of resources for them to turn to. It's a sort of "supply and demand" situation really... men aren't seeking help in the first place for resources to be put into providing it. And again, the main reason that men won't come forward is actually because of the reactions of other men; a man's female friends are (statistically) far more likely to be sympathetic and understanding of a male coming forward to report abuse than their male friends.

So really the number one issue, long before providing resources, is changing that "guys should be emotionally robust and physically tough and it's shameful not to be those things" mindset that is common in basically every culture in the world. There's also a perception that emotional abuse is "less serious" than physical abuse, when actually the damage to an individual can be staggering.

I think this is one situation where Truthey is identifying a genuine problem, but pointing the blame cannon in the wrong direction and looking for solutions in the wrong places.

Yeah, that's sort of what I meant. The supply and demand thing.

They're not purposely saying we're only going to provide support for women. They supply support for both. But there isn't much use in having 350 nationwide refuges for men if only 50 get used or whatever. That would be a waste or resources.

Marsh. 29-06-2017 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky. (Post 9407647)
Indeed.

I don't see why men would be excluded from a helpline though tbh. I find that very odd and kind of want to see this report myself as I cannot understand how a national domestic abuse helpline could exclude half the country...

I totally understand female only shelters and such and understand why there are more of them than male ones. Usually, females set them up to help other females who are terrified of males as they have been abused. Excluding male people from those areas is completely right I think as females go there to escape and even the mere sight of a male could be scary right after being attacked.

Yes there should be more shelters for males, BUT..how many males are actually seriously injured or mentally scarred enough to have to use a shelter? Again we probably do not known because males bottle it all up for fear of being seen as 'not a man' and such.

Basically, until males attitudes towards themselves and other males changes, this problem will still be here. Its not the fault of 'feminists' who wish to help females who actually ask for help.

They don't exclude men from the helpline. There is a separate number for them to ring.

Vicky. 29-06-2017 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh. (Post 9407914)
They don't exclude men from the helpline. There is a separate number for them to ring.

OK. I thought it was a bit odd that men would be excluded. Thanks.

the truth 29-06-2017 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky. (Post 9407922)
OK. I thought it was a bit odd that men would be excluded. Thanks.

marsh is wrong the main national number does exclude all men. the seperate number is a different organizational open half a dozen hours a week on just 2 days

Vicky. 29-06-2017 07:28 PM

http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/ there is specifically for men but its only 9-5 5 days a week

http://www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-men/ 24 hour line for males here too, which is the same number as the one ran by womens aid (which is the 'national domestic abuse' line) so it seems males are not excluded.

Womens aid is a charity set up specifically for females suffering DV too. Females helping each other basically. Is there an organisation set up by males to help males out of interest?

Again it seems the problem is males (in general, not all) do not wish to help other males and would rather ridicule them and say they are being too feminine for complaining of abuse. Because of this males are less likely to seek help. So the demand is not there as much as it is for females.

the truth 29-06-2017 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky. (Post 9408144)
http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/ there is specifically for men but its only 9-5 5 days a week

http://www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-men/ 24 hour line for males here too, which is the same number as the one ran by womens aid (which is the 'national domestic abuse' line) so it seems males are not excluded.

Womens aid is a charity set up specifically for females suffering DV too. Females helping each other basically. Is there an organisation set up by males to help males out of interest?

Again it seems the problem is males (in general, not all) do not wish to help other males and would rather ridicule them and say they are being too feminine for complaining of abuse. Because of this males are less likely to seek help. So the demand is not there as much as it is for females.

the problem is also with feminists who simply mock and ignore these male issues as we saw with radical feminist mp jess Phillips mocking laughing and sneering the recent parliament committee discussing male suicides etc male suicides are 5 times higher than women's and they get 50 times less help

Vicky. 29-06-2017 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 9408176)
the problem is also with feminists who simply mock and ignore these male issues as we saw with radical feminist mp jess Phillips mocking laughing and sneering the recent parliament committee discussing male suicides etc male suicides are 5 times higher than women's and they get 50 times less help

I highly doubt anyone was laughing and sneering at male suicide rates.

The main problem is with other males and their attitude towards each other. As such, anger should really be directed at them and energy should be focused on actually helping men gain the confidence to speak out when they need help rather than trying to deflect all blame onto feminists tbh. IMO of course.

Its not really a case of getting 50 times less help. If enough blokes spoke out and asked for help, then the amount of help for males would increase. At the moment, its the 'manly' thing to do to keep it all bottled up until they snap (and sadly maybe commit suicide). Obviously not all males do this but a lot do have the mindset that asking for help makes them weak in some way.

Mystic Mock 29-06-2017 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh. (Post 9406134)
There are male only helplines too. Stop being silly.

They're not as publicised though.

the truth 29-06-2017 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky. (Post 9408187)
I highly doubt anyone was laughing and sneering at male suicide rates.

The main problem is with other males and their attitude towards each other. As such, anger should really be directed at them and energy should be focused on actually helping men gain the confidence to speak out when they need help rather than trying to deflect all blame onto feminists tbh. IMO of course.

Its not really a case of getting 50 times less help. If enough blokes spoke out and asked for help, then the amount of help for males would increase. At the moment, its the 'manly' thing to do to keep it all bottled up until they snap (and sadly maybe commit suicide). Obviously not all males do this but a lot do have the mindset that asking for help makes them weak in some way.

she was laughing and mocking male issues being debated 8ncluding male suicide which no one is doing a damn thing about its times times the female rate and gets 50 times less resources. blaming men is a cop out they have no one to talk to. men are ignored and mucked and the funding isn't there

Mystic Mock 29-06-2017 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the truth (Post 9408207)
she was laughing and mocking male issues being debated 8ncluding male suicide which no one is doing a damn thing about its times times the female rate and gets 50 times less resources. blaming men is a cop out they have no one to talk to. men are ignored and mucked and the funding isn't there

Any woman behaving like that is no feminist, they're a misandrist.


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