“Ah, dear old Anthony from the Chili Peppers, or Walter Mitty as I call him. He claims there was some romance between us, which is absolutely untrue. I hung out with the guy for a few weeks. He thinks he’s God’s gift to women, and I think he had it in his head that I fancied him, which I utterly didn’t. One day, Jake, my son, who was then about three, was very ill, and Anthony gave us a lift to the hospital, which was very kind of him.

Then, inside the hospital, Anthony made a bit of a pass at me. I thought it a bit inappropriate to grope me, given that I was distressed and upset about my son, and I did lose my *****ing head at him. And, as for his claims that he kissed me, it must have been some other bald b*tch, ’cos it certainly wasn’t me. I’d have to wash my mouth out A LOT if I did anything like that, for *****’s sake!”