The Joke thread!
 

The Joke thread!

If you have a funny joke then post in here please :D

:joker:

What have Titanic And The Sixth Sense got in common?





























Icy Dead People!

lol!

What do you call a bird that was killed by a combine harvester????

SHREDDED TWEET!

Aha ha ha ha

do you want to hear a sick joke about jade goody??

Most of my jokes are sick/offensive jokes, so sorry if they offend anyone in advance, but they're intended as a joke.

That's it for now. :thumbs:

I do

I do please.

I like the terrible or twisted or offensive jokes.

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

p.s- sorry to all blondes on the forum, blondes are cool ;D !

ok... the joke about jade goodyy is:
Q. what was jade taken away in when she died?
A. a goody bagg!!
lol... sorry if i offended anyone. xxx

What do me, you and Stephen Gateley have in common? None of us woke up in Mallorca at the weekend.

I've been a bit unlucky of late, I swapped my ticket to a Michael Jackson concert for a Boyzone Reunion gig.

LOL and lol and lol.

I have heard that Jade goody one before.

Watch out.. Jade Goody will make a guest experience on another reality tv show.. "most haunted" LOL

:joker:

If you thought that Jade joke was offensive ... whats the similarities between Jade Goody and an easter egg? Both are egg shaped and will be in a box by easter. (this was before April ;))

icy dead people not even a bit funny

and thats sick saying that about jade shes dead leave it at that !!!!!!!!!!!

Says the racist!

hi
 

omg thats so sick how dare you !

hi
 

i am not a racist and jade was not big brother made her out to be a racist !poor girl

I didn't call jade racist I called you racist.
You called everyone in ireland gay! Saddo.

i did not call anyone in ireland gay ?
even if i did that is not racist being gay

What age are you? 12 probably, you don't seem to understand anything that people say to you.

why dont you stop causing trouble !, i am not going to answer you stupid little girl zip it

You are the one coming into the joke thread saying all the jokes are bad! You zip it!

Thats nothen,

There was loads of those jokes when she died but I can only remember one that my friend told us all in Class,

This was before she died...

"What does Jade Goody in a wedding dress look like?"




"A Badminton shuttle!"

Oh **** off and get a sense of humour like the rest of us!

No wonder you have no friends,

1000s of people made Jokes about Michael Jackson when he died, so who gives a **** about Jade I hate her anyway as do many other people for ruining my favourite show!


Good day to you! :xyxwave:

You just did answe her you morron,

And shes hardly the 'little girl' if she knows what shes talking about..

And you were being Racist in the other thread about Ireland and when you called everyone in Ireland gay your being Homophobic!

So go and learn somthing you Prat,




Lmao I was accually gona write a joke my Dad told me about Stephan Gately but I just called that Lauren girl Homophobic,

But on the other hand, you [LAUREN] Seem to hate Jokes about Dead People eh?

So here goes ...



Stephan Gately dosent need to be put in a Hole today..

Hes already been in 100s!

LMAO ha/

After Stephen Gately found dead at his home in Majorca, Ronan said he was gutted. Louis Walsh said he was devistated and Michael Barrymore said he was inocent.

:joker::joker:

Stephen Gately's widower was asked what he would like doing with his ashes. I'd like them fried up with Garam Masala and have him turned into a curry.

Why would you want to do that? replied the Majorcan coroner.

So I can feel him dribbling out of my arse one last time

How unlucky am I... Only went and swapped my Michael Jackson tickets for the Boyzone Reunion tickets... ****s sake!!!

I just applied for planning permission for a new-build house. It was going to be 100ft tall and 400ft wide with nine turrets at various heights and windows all over the place. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green.

The council told me to **** off.

So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque.

Building work starts on Monday.

Why can't Jesus eat mnm's



























Because they fall through his hands! :)

I was stuck on the bus for fifteen minutes today.

Some dumb chav girl refused to pay her fare, claiming she had left her Oyster card at home, so therefore she should be able to travel for free.

The bus driver refused to move until she paid her fare, and the stupid bitch refused to get off the bus.

Every other passenger on the bus was giving her daggers, but she didn’t give a ****.

Finally, I couldn’t stand it any more. I got out of my seat, strode right up to her, and gave her a backhander across the face.

The force of the blow sent her tumbling out of the bus, sprawling onto the pavement.

“How dare you hit a defenceless woman!” she cried. “Where’s your ****ing conscience?”

“I left it at home”, I replied, as the bus drove off without her.

hahaha, im sat on michael jackson! lol]
that cracked me up, when someone said that!!!!!!!! xx

You know why those three fella's with the turbans on always sit by the dugout at Old Trafford year after year? Because if they were in the corner, they'd probably open a shop.

A horse walks into a bar
The barman asks; "Why the long face?"
The horse replies; "Because I have cancer."


Dear Matt Lucas,

I am sorry to hear about the suicide of your ex. I for one find you very attractive and you remind me of my ex who sadly has also passed away.

If you want to hook up, give me a call.

Yours sincerely,

Jack Tweed

My wife's scouse friend is staying with us at the moment.

She said, "I'm really freaked out by all those blokes hanging round the children's playground."

I said, "We have a name for people like that round these parts: FATHERS."

^
Quality.