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-   -   WOMBAI's seven-millionth conspiracy theory/breakdown/act of extreme twattery (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=138269)

Shaun 02-06-2010 01:40 AM

WOMBAI's seven-millionth conspiracy theory/breakdown/act of extreme twattery
 
You may notice a certain little correlation with the film "Mean Girls" here. But the trick is I've turned it into a TiBB dramedy. FOR LOLS. If you feature, it's meant lightheartedly and not as an attack of you. There'll be a lot of you that feature :)

Quote:

"This is your lunch, Okay? I've put an AsdaWalmart Lunch box
in your bag as Bloated Tesco is Bad for you." Arista reassured his little girl.

"Don't talk to the boys...........They are full of ****! Liberal wingers!" bananarama was particularly worried about Gary's first day at TiBB High.

MrGaryy was born in Ireland to two diehard debate enthusiasts. Her childhood consisted of public forums, feminist meetings and trips to AsdaWalmart.

[flashback;
bananarama: shut up with your conservative babbles.........arista
Arista: No, Honey. This is why some Women should not have Kids.
The couple glare at each other over the debating table before lunging forward and making out in front of a bewildered MrGaryy
]

MrGaryy turned around and looked at TiBB High - it looked like every other online forum. Buses of trolls and fakes drove to and fro, and the front doors flowed members. Waving goodbye to her parents, she stepped into the building and was immediately nearly hit by a flying lock.
"24 HOUR BAN!" yelled James at an angry-looking cupid_stunt.

She walked into her designated classroom and to her horror it was already full - she was nearly late. There were two seats left - she went to sit in one of them.
"Don't sit there. He farts a lot." an Irish-sounding girl assured her, gesturing towards Smithy. Smithy smiled unawares and let a silent one go.

Gary stepped back and walked straight into the path of Mrs. Lili, knocking her latté out of her hands and staining her blouse. The class gasped and there were some shocked laughs.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" Gary was beyond embarrassed.
"It's okay, really..." Mrs Lili began to take off her stained sweater and it got stuck to her shirt.

"Mrs. Lili...it's good to see you again" interrupted a very suave Principal Nate.
"My sweater's stuck to my shirt, isn't it?" Mrs. Lili sighed. "****S SAKE".
Lili quickly adjusted herself to save her modesty, as Nate addressed the class.

"Welcome back, 6L. Today we have a new student joining us, she's from Ireland. MsGaryy..."
"It's MrGaryy" Gary corrected him.
"MrGaryy. Well, welcome to TiBB High." another ban went flying past outside in the hallway.
"THREAD CLOSED!" cried VickyJ.

MrGaryy took the seat next to the Irish girl and minded her own business.
"See, this is the colour font I want" cooed a large effeminate man behind her to the Irish girl.
"This is Dezzy - he's almost too nerdy to function" the Irish girl rolled her eyes, and Gary laughed.

"Hey, Jen, nice wig, where did you get it?" Annie intruded, firing an insult.
"Your aborted baby's hair." Jen coolly retorted. "I'm Jen".
"Gary", Gary smiled and introduced herself to the duo. "Hey, erm, I have troll-ed first period" - she handed Jen her timetable - "where is it?"
"Oh, that's in the back building..." Jen smiled to Dezzy.
"Yeah, the back building. We'll take you there." He passed her timetable back.

For her first day, it seemed to be going swimmingly, Gary reflected.


Twilight 02-06-2010 01:42 AM

LOL, i like.

Smithy 02-06-2010 01:43 AM

:laugh2:

:(

Z 02-06-2010 01:46 AM

What an inspired MSN conversation that was. Can't wait for more!!

Jack_ 02-06-2010 01:53 AM

:joker: :joker: :joker:

Priceless.

Tom4784 02-06-2010 02:10 AM

Lmao! I can't wait for more.

Vicky. 02-06-2010 02:11 AM

:laugh:

Benjamin 02-06-2010 06:11 AM

Lol, this made me chuckle. You always seem to right stuff that makes me laugh. :hugesmile:

CaraRawr 02-06-2010 06:14 AM

Brilliant! xD

Mrluvaluva 02-06-2010 04:15 PM

Will we be treated to another episode?

Braden 02-06-2010 04:24 PM

Whose Mrs.Elle?

Shaun 02-06-2010 04:24 PM

Of course :tongue: I do finish SOME creative writing lmao.

Shaun 02-06-2010 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Braden (Post 3282574)
Whose Mrs.Elle?

Mrs Lili, sorry, got confused :D

Braden 02-06-2010 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaun (Post 3282578)
Mrs Lili, sorry, got confused :D

Oh :p

This is really good Shaun :)

Shaun 02-06-2010 04:38 PM

Here's the first part, folks :) Meet the plastics ;)

Quote:

The school bell rang and Gary left with her newfound friends for "Troll Education". She walked with them past countless corridors and classrooms and soon began to wonder just how big the TiBB complex was. In this epic journey she saw Enid stealing setanta's dinner money, and cute boys like *mazedsalv** and InOne jog past in revealing gym clothes.
"Watch out please! New meat coming through!" Dean cried, as he shoved a debating ange7 and NettoSuperstar out of the way.
Soon they were outside. Gary highly doubted that there would be a lesson here, and so piped up.
"Where is the back building?" she casually dropped.
"It burned down in 1970, when TiBB started." Dezzy drolely replied.
Gary had no idea what she would miss on her first lesson of TiBB High, but figured that she was not in a position to pass up on an opportunity to make friends.

[flashback: Troll Education;
"Don't talk to trolls. Or you will get pregnant. And die." an authoritative Patrick barked at his class, "just promise me you won't talk to biglover, okay? Now everybody take some IPchecks."
]

"Why don't you just get homeschooled, MsGaryy?" Jen asked.
"They want me to fit in...and it's MrGaryy" Gary corrected her.
"Yeah, I'mma call you MsGaryy." Jen smiled.
"For the love of Final Fantasy, would you look at MarkWaldorf's gym clothes?" Dezzy gasped in awe, and Gary turned her head to a vast entourage of jocks and pretty girls walking out onto the sports field.
["Angel With A Dirty Face" by Twilight Twitty plays]
"Who are those people?" Gary trailed.
"The one with the dark hair is Mark Waldorf - she's totally rich because her dad invented .GIFs or something. She knows everything about everyone on TiBB high." Jen coolly informed Gary.
"That's why her post count is so big...it's full of secrets." Dean purred.
"The welsh girl with the big tits is Ross. She is the dumbest girl you will ever meet." Jen laughed.
"She sits next to me in 'Meet the Members Poses', and one time," Dean struggled not to laugh, "she asked me how to spell 'pout'."
The group laughed, as they witnessed one girl being carried out onto the field by a troupe of jocks.
"And evil takes a human form in Hugo George. Don't be fooled; she may look like your typical evil scheming slut-faced bitch, but she's so much worse." Jen narrated with genuine scathing.
Gary looked back over at the three girls - they all seemed so...beautiful. MarkWaldorf chatted idly on her iPhone as Hugo flirted with one particular jock and Ross fell over a football.
"She's the queen bee. The other two are just her minions..." Dezzy trailed, as Jen rolled her eyes. They got up to go to the toilets.


[Flashback;
Callum: Hugo George is flawless.
SiaSiaSia: One time she saw Chad Michael Murray on an aeroplane and he told her she was cute.
Princess: She has two Britney Spears sets and a silver Lexus.
CaraRawr: I hear her hair's insured for £40,000.
Stu: I hear she does Digital Spy commercials...in Japan.
Raph: Her favourite movie is Stepmom.
Jonathan: One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.
]

In the girls toilets now, bizarrely with Dezzy, the trio stood washing their hands.
"She's fabulous, but she's evil." Dean said in near-admiration.
"Hey! You're not allowed in here!" Matt suddenly interrupted, reminding Dezzy of his gender.
"Oh my God, BBSpy, I love your work!" Dean began and Matt ran off from his Big Brother-related past.
"She always wins TiBB Fiercest Member." Dean continued.
"Who cares?" Jen sighed.
"I do. Because in case you haven't noticed, Fiercest Member always sits on the TiBB council, which," he turned to Gary, "I am head of. I would say I care." he smiled.
"Wow, Dezzy, you've truly outgayed yourself." Jen smirked, and Gary laughed.

[to be continued...]


Ninastar 02-06-2010 04:42 PM

Lmao I love it! x

Shaun 02-06-2010 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ninastar (Post 3282646)
Lmao I love it! x

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...awalksaway.gif

Princess 02-06-2010 05:10 PM

Hahaha this is brilliant!

Tom4784 02-06-2010 05:10 PM

Rofl.

Braden 02-06-2010 05:14 PM

This is fandabbydoubledosey!

GypsyGoth 02-06-2010 05:18 PM

:laugh2:

Love it :love:

Z 02-06-2010 07:04 PM

Ahahaahahaha I love it, "that's why her post count is so big" :love:, looking forward to more!!

Jessica. 02-06-2010 07:13 PM

:laugh2: How many times have you watched that film?

Shaun 02-06-2010 07:28 PM

I put it on last night for inspiration :tongue: But I've seen it waaaay too often

Jen 02-06-2010 07:42 PM

I really enjoyed that...
It's amazing.

LemonJam 02-06-2010 08:08 PM

amaaaaaaaaze <3

Ross 02-06-2010 08:38 PM

i love this!

lily. 02-06-2010 08:48 PM

http://i895.photobucket.com/albums/a...ss/2vw8gb4.gif

lily. 02-06-2010 08:49 PM

ohay, it's me:

http://i643.photobucket.com/albums/u...ymeangirls.gif

sooty 02-06-2010 08:52 PM

I do not think Arista and WOMBAI have seen this yet.:bigsmile:

lily. 02-06-2010 08:53 PM

I just told Nate that he's black. :O

He was not aware of this fact.

Jessica. 02-06-2010 08:54 PM

I love the use of ':hugesmile:'. :laugh2:

Shaun 02-06-2010 09:02 PM

I just love the thought of arista and WOMBAI producing a child.

BigSister 02-06-2010 10:19 PM

lol haha thats funny

Ross 02-06-2010 11:13 PM

more!

Shaun 02-06-2010 11:59 PM

tomorrow dearest.

King Gizzard 03-06-2010 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lily. (Post 3283584)
I just told Nate that he's black. :O

He was not aware of this fact.

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/pho...97-640-480.jpg

:wink:

MrGaryy 03-06-2010 12:49 AM

<33333

CaraRawr 03-06-2010 08:58 AM

Actually genius. :'D

Shaun 05-06-2010 10:05 PM

Part Two :)

Quote:

Gary had an hour of "Meet the Members Poses" before lunchtime, which flew by without event. She'd learned the ins and outs of being a camwhoring slut, from teacher Mr. Conzors, and had learned to never take photographs in the bathroom or at sweaty moshpits.
She entered the cafeteria and immediately thought of the debating forums back home. bananarama had wanted Gary to learn how to hold her ground from an early age - and seeing all these dinner tables throwing food and being bitchy reminded her of the vicious and often personal insults thrown at libraries and debating societies all over Ireland.
Jen and Dean had given her a little hand-drawn map of the cafeteria. Looking down at it, she was able to easily identify the unfriendly black hotties - they seemed the most articulate, so she ventured over and introduced herself "Plato! What a bitch, right?"
"Shut the **** up, troll." Sticks spat, and Gary walked away, confused.

She looked back down at the map and noticed the 'Scene messes' - as Twilight, CaraRawr and Joe. traded signed memorabilia of pop-rock bands and adjusted their eyeliner. On the table to the left of these were the "desperate wannabies", where Jonathan. and Braden were gossipping about how they'd once spoken to MarkWaldorf about lip gloss. Further on were the "game*****s" - members who continually drew up idea for new games and continual participants - such as Kate and Loukas, who were writing their TiBB Eurovision ballad about a lovestruck horse and jockey.
Beginning to feel a little out of her depth, Gary looked over to where Jan and Dean were sat - beyond the "fakes", where Raph and Jayson were trying on a variety of prosthetic masks, and the cool asians (DamonJ and Darenn were talking in a foreign language about "omg sucha ke$ha stan 2baha~") - and saw some solace. She headed over there, staying desperately away from the "burnouts" where Stu and Karl were staring a little too closely at their spoons, before someone walked up to her.

"Hi, I'm from the student council and we're interviewing all the new students", LemonJam introduced himself.
"Oh, okay." Gary smiled politely.
"Do you take your muffin buttered?" LemonJam smirked, as a few stifled laughs from the Brotherhood table (where Locke and Brad. threw food at each other and gave each other headlocks).
"Uh...what?" Gary was bewildered
"Is this man bothering you?" Hugo suddenly interrupted with a powerful sense of authority.
"N-no.."
"JAMES YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CALL ME." MarkWaldorf hissed.
"LemonJam, you cannot stand up MarkWaldorf and then go picking on some poor innocent girl 2 days later." Hugo skeezed, before turning to Gary, "do you want to sleep with him?"
Gary seriously considered it for a moment before going "ew, no".
"Thank you. You can go shave your back now, bye James" she condescendingly smiled, as James walked away muttering an insult. Gary resumed walking over to Jen. "Wait!" Hugo cried. "Come sit with us!"
Gary looked back at Jen, who was applying ham to Dean's face. She hesitated and sat opposite Ross, Mark and Hugo.

"Why don't I know you?" Hugo enquired.
"I'm new." Gary replied, "I was homeschooled in Ireland, we moved he-"
"Wait, what?" Hugo interjected.
"I was taught at home by my mother-"
"No, I know what homeschooling is, I'm not retarded. So you've never been on a forum before?" Hugo asked, dumbfounded.
"Uh...no." Gary coyly replied.
"Shut up!" Hugo laughed. "Shut up!" she repeated, as Ross stared at her.
"If you're from Ireland...why aren't you ginger?" she suddenly blurted, as Mark gave her a scolding look.
"Oh my God, Ross, you can't just ask people why they're ginger." she seethed.
Without warning, Hugo, Mark and Ross suddenly huddled for a moment and seemed to be quick to agree.
"Listen, we don't usually do this, but how about you sit with us?" Hugo offered rather kindly, as Gary looked back over to his friends - Jan pulled a ;O face.
"Well uh-" she began
"Great!" Hugo smiled.
"On Tuesdays we wear pink, and we can only have a ponytail once a week, so uh..." Mark trailed off to look at Gary's taut hair, "looks like you chose today."
Just as she was beginning to be baffled by these so-called rules, the lunch bell rang and the girls got up to leave.
"See you later!" Ross smiled, and they flicked their hair almost in unison.

Gary got up and joined Dean and Jen to walk to their next class. Once she had filled them in, Jen burst out laughing and appeared excited.
"You have to do it! We have to find a way to bring that bitch down!" she laughed.
"Why? She seemed really nice..." Gary offered.
"HUGO GEORGE IS NOT NICE (****\) she's a cum-sucking GaGa stan!" Jen cried in disbelief.
"Why do you hate her?" Gary asked.
"What do you mean?" Jen shrugged.
"I mean, why?" Gary was getting impatient.
"When we were in 4th grade, Hugo made us sign this petition that said Jen was a-" Dean began.
"DEAN! PLEASE! Can we not? Look, let's just say it's a social experiment, you sit with them and we can laugh about all the dumb stuff they do." Jen seemed to have already calculated her plan of action.

Gary headed off to .GIF studies, where she took a seat behind a rather cute-looking boy. Mrs. Lili was her teacher for this as well as her tutor, and half an hour into the lesson asked the class a question "which American TV show character has the most fierce .GIF catalogue available?" Gary shot her hand up immediately, and everyone turned around, including Novo.
Gary had only really been in love once before and that was with a young Irish boy who didn't really understand her.

[Flashback;
Gary: Is tú mo ghrá.
Eoin: ****, FORMULA ONE IS ON.
]

She was captivated in Novo's eyes and lost her train of thought.
"Oh, err... Blair Waldorf." Gary regained her composure.

to be continued...



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