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-   -   The Crap Joke Thread (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=165263)

Niall 28-10-2010 11:55 AM

The Crap Joke Thread
 
Share your crappy jokes here.

I'll start:

What did the sea say to the penguin?

Nothing it just waved!
:laugh:

Jordan. 28-10-2010 11:55 AM

Why did the chicken cross the road.......to get to the other side. :love:

Lee. 28-10-2010 11:56 AM

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?


Doug!

Niamh. 28-10-2010 11:56 AM

What's brown and Sticky?

Spoiler:

A Stick.

Lee. 28-10-2010 11:56 AM

What do you call a man without a spade in his head?


Douglas! :laugh3:

Lee. 28-10-2010 11:57 AM

oh.. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?


Cliff!

Niall 28-10-2010 11:57 AM

Lol! These are good, keep 'em coming! :D

Why did the 2 penguins jump when they first met?

Spoiler:

Because they were trying to break the ice! :spin:

Niamh. 28-10-2010 11:58 AM

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Spoiler:

Roberto.

Lee. 28-10-2010 11:59 AM

How do you make a sausage roll?

Spoiler:

Give it a push

Niall 28-10-2010 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamhxo (Post 3872923)
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Spoiler:

Roberto.

:laugh3:

Two Aerials meet on a roof, fell in love, got married
The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant. :laugh:

Stacey. 28-10-2010 12:01 PM

I don't even get half these jokes in here :(

Lee. 28-10-2010 12:01 PM

How do you make anti-freeze?

Spoiler:

hide her nightie

Lee. 28-10-2010 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stacey.x (Post 3872930)
I don't even get half these jokes in here :(

:laugh2:

:hug:

Niall 28-10-2010 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stacey.x (Post 3872930)
I don't even get half these jokes in here :(

:shocked:

Really lol? They are all just puns usually.

Niamh. 28-10-2010 12:03 PM

lmao, I love crap jokes

Stacey. 28-10-2010 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyland (Post 3872933)
:laugh2:

:hug:

I feel so stupid. Aren't they supposed to be real easy to understand aswell?

:hug:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Me! (Post 3872934)
:shocked:

Really lol? They are all just puns usually.

Bitch please, asif you think I know what puns means.

Lee. 28-10-2010 12:04 PM

Horse walks into a bar.. Barman goes "what's with the long face?!

Niall 28-10-2010 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamhxo (Post 3872935)
lmao, I love crap jokes

Me too :love:

Lee. 28-10-2010 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stacey.x (Post 3872937)
I feel so stupid. Aren't they supposed to be real easy to understand aswell?

:hug:



Bitch please, asif you think I know what puns means.

Erm..yeah, kind of :laugh:

Niall 28-10-2010 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stacey.x (Post 3872937)
I feel so stupid. Aren't they supposed to be real easy to understand aswell?

:hug:



Bitch please, asif you think I know what puns means.

They are supposed to be easy to understand lol :) and a pun is a play on words. We had to talk about it in english once - so boring :sleep:

Fetch The Bolt Cutters 28-10-2010 12:06 PM

whats hairy on the outside and wet on the inside? it begins with c and ends with t

Spoiler:

coconut

Stacey. 28-10-2010 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Me! (Post 3872945)
They are supposed to be easy to understand lol :) and a pun is a play on words. We had to talk about it in english once - so boring :sleep:

They must be so **** they don't make sense or something. But I never get jokes anyway :( You always have to think hard about them and I fail at that.

Oh right. It still confuses me though. D:

Jordan. 28-10-2010 12:08 PM

What Do You Call A Woman With One Leg Shorter Than The Other?

Spoiler:

Eileen.

Fetch The Bolt Cutters 28-10-2010 12:08 PM

what did one tampon say to the other?

nothing they are both stuck up twats

Lee. 28-10-2010 12:09 PM

What's the useless piece of skin at the end of a dick called?

Spoiler:

a man


:laugh3:

Jordan. 28-10-2010 12:10 PM

Yo Mama's so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone.

Niall 28-10-2010 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stacey.x (Post 3872949)
They must be so **** they don't make sense or something. But I never get jokes anyway :( You always have to think hard about them and I fail at that.

Oh right. It still confuses me though. D:

Lool thats cool, I don't understand jokes a lot too, people have to explain them to me like I'm a five year old :/

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyland (Post 3872954)
What's the useless piece of skin at the end of a dick called?

Spoiler:

a man


:laugh3:

:eek:

:nono:

Mean but funny I guess..

Niall 28-10-2010 12:14 PM

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy"

:joker:

Lee. 28-10-2010 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Me! (Post 3872960)
Lool thats cool, I don't understand jokes a lot too, people have to explain them to me like I'm a five year old :/



:eek:

:nono:

Mean but funny I guess..

Haha.. no offence intended :)

Jayson 28-10-2010 12:19 PM

Penguin biscuit jokes are always the best crap jokes <3

Lee. 28-10-2010 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Me! (Post 3872962)
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy"

:joker:

I literally lol'd at that!

Niall 28-10-2010 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyland (Post 3872966)
Haha.. no offence intended :)

Lol thats fine :p

Niall 28-10-2010 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayson (Post 3872969)
Penguin biscuit jokes are always the best crap jokes <3

I know right! I laugh at them all the time, even though I like know every single one! :love:

MTVN 28-10-2010 12:20 PM

I went to the Zoo yesterday but there was only one dog in it. It was a shih-tzu.

Niall 28-10-2010 12:21 PM

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang
up,and he said 'You've been promoted.'
And I swerved.
And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted
again.'
And I swerved again.
He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.'
And I went into a tree.
And a policeman came up and said
'What happened to you?'
And I said 'I careered off the road.

Niall 28-10-2010 12:21 PM

Two cannibals eating a clown.
One says to the other
"Does this taste funny to you?

:laugh3:

Jordan. 28-10-2010 12:27 PM

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Spoiler:

Lost. :laugh:


Jessica. 28-10-2010 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordannn! (Post 3872982)
What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Spoiler:

Lost. :laugh:


Antarctica is a desert..

Niamh. 28-10-2010 12:38 PM

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it

Jordan. 28-10-2010 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica. (Post 3872984)
Antarctica is a desert..

UMFG. Penguin biscuits lied to us. :bawling:


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