Moral dilemma: Rape pregnancy
 

Imagine you are one half of a young couple, depending on your gender. You have been together for quite a while now, perhaps a couple of years, things are getting serious and you want to spend the rest of your lives together. Unfortunately for the two of you, the girlfriend in this hypothetical couple is raped one night walking home from her friend's place, and while she gets away without being the recipient of even worse violence, the experience is deeply upsetting and obviously ruins her life. Weeks pass and the worst happens - the girlfriend discovers she is pregnant. As the girlfriend, do you abort the child? As the boyfriend, do you want her to abort the child? Discuss why you would or would not choose an abortion.

As a guy I think you'd obviously want her to abort it because it isn't your child. However it the incident is likely to ruin her life and she'd never be the same again etc, then you might find yourself losing the person you fell in love with and down the line it could end. But guess would be that the woman wouldn't want to bring up a rape child. But she might? I don't know, religion would be a big factor in deciding to keep it or not.

Wow this is a toughie...I don't know if I could keep it,tbh.. as the partner I would just respect any decision my partner made and both attend lots of councilling?..

What a horrible dilemma but it depends on my partner, if she kept it I'd leave her but stay as a friend.
A part of me wouldn't like the idea that she kept a memento of such a terrible thing

..ok from a female perspective..I believe children should only be brought into this world with careful consideration from both parents when the timing is right for them. In this case..because she was raped..I'm assuming the timing isn't right for any number of reasons..I assume they are not ready or committed to be parents...
...I would very seriously consider an abortion..and have a child when the time is right and with the right parent..to give that child the best start in life..
..and also I'm taking into consideration her emotional stability could not be right for becoming a mother..and all the hormonal changes that brings
..so yes..an abortion I'm afraid...and as a mother..I don't say that lightly

This is very hard to answer without having been in the situation. I don't think I'd ever have an abortion myself, I would feel like I'd murdered my own child. Having said that I've never been raped either so I could never say for sure.

I mean I think the obvious hypothetical answer would be to abort the child - but could you put yourself/your partner through that?

At this point in my life, I'd tell her that it would be a very good idea to get an abortion as I wouldn't have the time, money or skills to help her bring it up. At the end of the day though, it's her choice and I'd respect whatever decision she made.

I don't think I could bring it up as my own though, 'cause, well, it's not.

Abort

Abort. In both cases.

As the female...I wouldnt want a constant reminder of what happened to me. I may end up resenting the child, when it is not the childs fault.

As the male...I wouldnt want to be bringing up such a monsters child. I know its not the childs fault, but it would always be at the back of my mind


I do not see it as 'killing a child' until the fetus has a heartbeat. An abortion early on is just like a really heavy period...so many people miscarry in the first few weeks after being pregnant and dont even know they miscarried. I prefer to use the term induced miscarriage than abortion...in the first few weeks of pregnancy. I know its the same thing, but the word abortion carries way too much stigma and whatever your reasons for doing it, you will always be made to feel awful by society...even if it was for a reason such as rape :/

..LOL..this isn't Star Trek

I understand that and I don't push my views on anyone or even assume that my opinion is right on it, it's just how I personally feel about it. I have been in a situation where abortion would have been the easier option for me at that particular time but I knew I would never be able to live with myself If I did it. Again, though, I have never been raped so I couldn't say for sure if I'd feel the same in that situation.

THIS^ sorry for being lazy Niamh:joker:

Great minds Kazanne :love:

Yeah I'd definitely want her to abort.

If I were straight, with a woman and this happened I would want her to abort or I'd have to leave her. I'd still be supportive of her, but I couldn't bring myself to raise a child like that knowing the conditions in which it was conceived, I guess I would feel a resentment to the child (even though it is not the child's fault).

Must be one of the worst scenarios to find yourself in though, the rape is damaging enough without the torture being carried on.

I'd stand by her decision, If I really loved her I wouldn't let the rapist destroy the relationship so if she wanted to keep the baby I'd be there and vice versa if she didn't.

It would be such a hard decision. One of the hardest I think somebody would have to make. If you went ahead with the pregnancy, as Vicky said, either or both of you could see the child as a constant reminder of what had happened, and that could tear you both apart. They would be the product of that awful incident. On the other hand, once the child was born, you may feel nothing but love for it. It has done no wrong in the world, and feelings could change.

It's a hard decision to make, as feelings could change either way after the birth, but one, I imagine, that would not be taken likely. One of the considerations is about how it could actually affect the child. Would you tell them the truth about things? If not, what would happen if they found out by some means later in life, and how would they feel about that? It could affect them quite badly. I would not ever want to be in such a horrible and heart wrenching situation.

I think if you were able to, you could make something good come out of something terrible

Can you imagine if the biological father after serving his time came back and ask for involvment?in the kids life
ps what would you tell the kid about his father?

Presumably you wouldn't tell him about the baby :laugh:

I believe the rapist (natural father) should have no right whatsoever to any involvement and would in fact be bound not to have any such contact should he be aware of their identity.

It'd be totally down to her, and I'd stand by her (so long as I loved her of course) no matter what the decision. After all, it's a baby growing inside her, not me.

I would just try and support her through whatever decision she chooses. It's her body and therefore her decision as to whether she wants to keep the kid. The best I could do is just help her work through whatever she decides.

Abort. I have never wanted children anyway, but even if I did I would not want a constant reminder of such an ordeal

Tbh I wouldn't want the child if those was the circumstances so I would probably want her to abort it, afterall it would bring back the reminder that she was raped if the hypothetical child lived and the child wouldn't get a happy life either because of that fact.

Get rid of it

As the girl, sit down and rationally think about dates.

Rape victims generally don't have sex with their nearest and dearest for a while after the rape.

Weigh up the probabilities of whose child it was then make a decision after discussing it with my partner, doctors etc.

As the man, sit and listen don't offer advice just listen, let her explain how she feels and support her, get the best possible advice from healthcare professionals. Then you support her.

I'd kill myself if anyone forced themselves on me.

It's ok GypsyGoth, I'll protect you.:devil:

Thanks JF :D

This is a stinker Zee,

I would hope,really hope, that because I must really love that person and none of this was her fault or even the baby's she would be carrying that I would be able to say, despite my reservations that I may have, whatever she wanted to do,then I would support fully any decision she makes and more to the point stand by her all through it all.
I personally don't agree with abortion except on medical grounds so if she decided against it, I would be there all the way for her.

She would have been through enough with the rape never mind to then have me shouting the odds at her, as long as she was there, still in my life I would be I am sure, grateful for that fact and if she decided to keep the baby, then it is also no fault of the baby's either in fact.

Hopefully that is what I would be able to do and would set out to do,for both of us.

Don't even have to think twice about this. Abort.

^This.

abort.

Personally I don't think I could ever have an abortion no matter what the circumstances. But that's just me personally.