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-   -   What do Men think of a Woman not paying their way on Dates? (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=220812)

JamesBond007 08-02-2013 03:45 PM

What do Men think of a Woman not paying their way on Dates?
 
I'm interested on what other men think on this. Its a question always put to women but i like to hear what my fellow guys think. Paying for everything on dates from the dinner to the drinks.do you and would you do this? Do you expect a woman to pay half?.

Cherie 08-02-2013 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesBond007 (Post 5819323)
I'm interested on what other men think on this. Its a question always put to women but i like to hear what my fellow guys think. Paying for everything on dates from the dinner to the drinks.do you and would you do this? Do you expect a woman to pay half?.

Im really looking forward to the answers if you get any :D:

lostalex 08-02-2013 03:51 PM

I don't think it ever hurts to be generous. bottom line is always try to pay when you can. BUT...

I think if you ask someone out to a specific place, you should pay, because you can't assume that the person you invite can afford where you take them.

IF you INVITE someone somewhere, then it should be expected that you are going to pay.


If I INVITE someone somewhere, I expect to take care of them. And if they INVITE me somewhere, I expect to be taken care of. Isn't that just basic etiquette?

When you invite someone, you are responsible for them.

There are lots of variables, but the basic rule is, the person that INVITES someone to be with them, should pay.

JamesBond007 08-02-2013 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 5819325)
Im really looking forward to the answers if you get any :D:

So am i :hugesmile:
I'm interested cause i have friends who would go all out for their Girlfriends paying for everything and others who would ask a date to pay half way.

King Gizzard 08-02-2013 03:54 PM

Just go with the flow really, don't mind (not that I've actually had a date in the last 3 years)

lostalex 08-02-2013 03:56 PM

If you ask someone to go somewhere with you, then you should pay, if they ask you to go with them, then they pay. It's really not that complex.

Whoever is the one doing the Inviting, has to pay. It really is that simple.

JamesBond007 08-02-2013 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 5819334)
I don't think it ever hurts to be generous. bottom line is always try to pay when you can. BUT...

I think if you ask someone out to a specific place, you should pay, because you can't assume that the person you invite can afford where you take them.

IF you INVITE someone somewhere, then it should be expected that you are going to pay.


If I INVITE someone somewhere, I expect to take care of them. And if they INVITE me somewhere, I expect to be taken care of. Isn't that just basic etiquette?

When you invite someone, you are responsible for them.

There's generous and there's been outright greedy. First few dates i would pay for everything but after that i'd expect things to be going each way. If the person couldn't afford it then yes i would gladly pay but if its some woman who has a Job but still expects things to be paid for her a few months into a reltionship then un-huh ain't happening. There's a difference about a first date then a few months into a reltionship and been a doormat instead of been a equal reltionship.

Roy Mars III 08-02-2013 03:58 PM

split the tab.

Patrick 08-02-2013 03:59 PM

She pays.

Jesus. 08-02-2013 04:00 PM

My view is that the first few dates should be split financially, but if something develops then I'm happy to pay for more things, as there's nothing wrong with spoiling the person that you're with.

The first few dates are for both people to see if they like the other one, so we should both pay our ways.

King Gizzard 08-02-2013 04:01 PM

who really goes on dates anyway (except couples that are together beforehand), you meet someone and just talk

lostalex 08-02-2013 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesBond007 (Post 5819341)
There's generous and there's been outright greedy. First few dates i would pay for everything but after that i'd expect things to be going each way. If the person couldn't afford it then yes i would gladly pay but if its some woman who has a Job but still expects things to be paid for her a few months into a reltionship then un-huh ain't happening. There's a difference about a first date then a few months into a reltionship and been a doormat instead of been a equal reltionship.


I understand what you are saying, but at the same time, it's not fair if someone invites you to an event, that you might not even want to go to, but you go just to be accomodating, and then they expect you to pay for your own drinks?? even if yur only there to please them? no, that's not right. When you are invited to an event by someone, they should pay.

And when you invite someone to an event with you, you should pay. That's just how it works. You can't invite someone to an event to be with you, and expect them to pay for their own drinks. that's just gross.

Jesus. 08-02-2013 04:02 PM

Oh yeah - Bitches be crazy.

Cherie 08-02-2013 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesBond007 (Post 5819341)
There's generous and there's been outright greedy. First few dates i would pay for everything but after that i'd expect things to be going each way. If the person couldn't afford it then yes i would gladly pay but if its some woman who has a Job but still expects things to be paid for her a few months into a reltionship then un-huh ain't happening. There's a difference about a first date then a few months into a reltionship and been a doormat instead of been a equal reltionship.

I agree with this, yes if you invite someone on a date then the inviter should pay, but then if there are several dates it should become more of a 50/50 thing especially if the lady in question is in paid employment. As a Mum of two boys I would be pretty annoyed if girls wanted them to pay for everything every time especially if working.

lostalex 08-02-2013 04:02 PM

Okay i'm a gay man so i'm talking about gay etiquette. Maybe it's different in the str8 world.

lostalex 08-02-2013 04:04 PM

As a gay man though, if a guy asks me to dinner, i expect him to pay. he's the one asking me out, he's the one choosing the restaurant, he pays.

And when i ask a guy out, i choose the restaurant, i pay. that's just how it is. If i ask a guy out, i know that i'm paying.

Whoever picks the restaurant, pays the bill.

lostalex 08-02-2013 04:08 PM

You can't ask someone to go to a restaurant with you, and then expect them to pay part of the bill. That just seems weird to me.

King Gizzard 08-02-2013 04:09 PM

maybe you could go for a nice picnic in the park followed by a walk on the beach then neither have to pay :thumbs2:

King Gizzard 08-02-2013 04:09 PM

if you happen to live by a beach, if not exchange it for a movie at either house

JamesBond007 08-02-2013 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 5819364)
You can't ask someone to go to a restaurant with you, and then expect them to pay part of the bill. That just seems weird to me.

Happened to me when i was asked out by a Lady Friend :hugesmile:. I taught to myself great and a nice meal with a attractive woman but at the end of the night the bill was pushed my way. She didn't even buy me one drink. I lost all fate in 50/50 each way after that and made sure i bought enough cash on dates since.

lostalex 08-02-2013 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesBond007 (Post 5819369)
Happened to me when i was asked out by a Lady Friend :hugesmile:. I taught to myself great and a nice meal with a attractive woman but at the end of the night the bill was pushed my way. She didn't even buy me one drink. I lost all fate in 50/50 each way after that and made sure i bought enough cash on dates since.

well i wasn't including busty blonde russian spies in my analysis

but you make a good point. you found it wrong for her to have asked you out and picked the restaurant, and then expected you to pay right? so yur proving my point. She was wrong to do that, and you were put off by her for doing that right?

The person that sets the date and picks the restaurant should pay. period.

JamesBond007 08-02-2013 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nathan (Post 5819349)
who really goes on dates anyway (except couples that are together beforehand), you meet someone and just talk

Really depends on situation, if you know the girl well before then yeah no need for a date. But if you're not that well known to each other then dates are usual the thing to do.

King Gizzard 08-02-2013 04:13 PM

What's 007 doing going on dates anyway, shouldn't they just gracefully fall into you arms?

JamesBond007 08-02-2013 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 5819373)
well i wasn't including busty blonde russian spies in my analysis

She certainly didn't get shaken or stirred that night :hugesmile:

Cherie 08-02-2013 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 5819364)
You can't ask someone to go to a restaurant with you, and then expect them to pay part of the bill. That just seems weird to me.

Yeah but when the dates move on to seeing each other regularly what happens then, a relationship has to evolve, and the who pays thing evolves as well, after all if you ended up living with them wouldnt you split the bills if you were both working?

JamesBond007 08-02-2013 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nathan (Post 5819375)
What's 007 doing going on dates anyway, shouldn't they just gracefully fall into you arms?

only in the movies Nathan :bawling:

lostalex 08-02-2013 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 5819380)
Yeah but when the dates move on to seeing each other regularly what happens then, a relationship has to evolve, and the who pays thing evolves as well, after all if you ended up living with them wouldnt you split the bills if you were both working?

That's true, but by that point you have more of an understanding of each others finances, and obviously you can work it out from there, so there won't be any awkward moments like going to a restaurant that is too expensive for one person or the other. Obviously the person who is more well off will be taking care of things from that point forward.

the truth 08-02-2013 04:40 PM

Ive always offered to pay on date 1, but I dont keep paying...if she never offers to pay towards the bill I finish with her, I dont like self centred people...in fairness though the majority of women Ive dated have been fair enough about it.

InOne 08-02-2013 06:43 PM

I'd offer to pay, and if she says no then I'd split it with her.


But if she offered to pay it would be even better of course...

JamesBond007 08-02-2013 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InOne (Post 5819571)
I'd offer to pay, and if she says no then I'd split it with her.


But if she offered to pay it would be even better of course...

Ah but of course a lot of people would be shocked at that cause you can't let a Woman pay for a meal. What a load of rubbish, why can't us men be treated like kings :joker:

InOne 09-02-2013 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesBond007 (Post 5820043)
Ah but of course a lot of people would be shocked at that cause you can't let a Woman pay for a meal. What a load of rubbish, why can't us men be treated like kings :joker:

Some women only want to be equal when it suits them I think LOL


And before you all start, I said some.

MTVN 09-02-2013 12:03 AM

Would offer to pay in the hope that she offers to split it, happy to pay for drinks but when a girl wants me to pay for a full on meal that's pushing it (not that I know anything about dates)

JamesBond007 09-02-2013 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InOne (Post 5820045)
Some women only want to be equal when it suits them I think LOL


And before you all start, I said some.

Thats true sadly its human nature. I do think some take advantage of those old fashion values. I've had some great experiences were some women got seriously upset i paid for everything and some bad were some don't even put their hands in their purses.

Livia 09-02-2013 12:20 AM

I always offer to split the bill and I always stand my round. If someone insisted on paying I'd let them, but I would reciprocate by perhaps buying tickets for something. I earn a decent salary, I wouldn't expect someone to pay for me all the time. I'd find it a bit embarrassing.

Niamh. 09-02-2013 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 5820059)
I always offer to split the bill and I always stand my round. If someone insisted on paying I'd let them, but I would reciprocate by perhaps buying tickets for something. I earn a decent salary, I wouldn't expect someone to pay for me all the time. I'd find it a bit embarrassing.

Yeah, this pretty much.


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