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lily. 13-12-2013 08:22 AM

Does it bother you if...
 
.. someone doesn't like you, even though you've given them no reason to dislike you and you're nothing but nice to them?

One of my tutors is like this, and I don't know why it irks me, but it really does..

I feel like it's unjustified, and wouldn't mind if she had a good reason for it, but I just want to stunt up to her and ask her what her effing problem is.. which of course I can't, or that would just validate her dislike for me..

I want to not care, and I don't know if it's because I have to spend time with her a few days a week, or because she's in a position of seniority, but I struggle to not care..

smudgie 13-12-2013 08:31 AM

No.

It is their loss.

mizzy25 13-12-2013 08:43 AM

No Ive never cared if people like me or not, if they don't like me I hve a tendency to not like them. Its a shame its tutor though as you cant avoid them. Maybe they are jealous of you. Try being nice to them they will probably hate this lol

Ramsay 13-12-2013 08:45 AM

Obviously most people will say they don't care but i think deep down everyone wants to be liked
Yeah it annoys me when stuff like that happens and i will try and sort it out but i just lose interest after a while if the person still hates me :laugh:

Black Dagger 13-12-2013 08:51 AM

Meh, don't hate me because you ain't me :hmph:

Niamh. 13-12-2013 09:07 AM

Yeah I agree with the OP, it wouldn't really really bother me but I guess if you've not given them any reason to dislike you, never had a run in with them etc etc then it would be, to steal your word irksome

lily. 13-12-2013 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karl (Post 6540984)
Obviously most people will say they don't care but i think deep down everyone wants to be liked
Yeah it annoys me when stuff like that happens and i will try and sort it out but i just lose interest after a while if the person still hates me :laugh:

That's basically it Karl.. I don't care if people dislike me if I don't have to really associate with them, but the fact that I'm forced to be around this person makes me care.

I always hand in my assignments on time.. I'm getting full marks on all my work, and I don't cause any trouble in class, yet she's still nasty to me.

I guess I only have to tolerate her until June, so it's not the end of the world, but I just wonder if there's actually anything I could do about this, cos it seems that it wouldn't matter what I said or did, she'd still feel the same.

Niamh. 13-12-2013 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JingleBitch (Post 6540997)
That's basically it Karl.. I don't care if people dislike me if I don't have to really associate with them, but the fact that I'm forced to be around this person makes me care.

I always hand in my assignments on time.. I'm getting full marks on all my work, and I don't cause any trouble in class, yet she's still nasty to me.

I guess I only have to tolerate her until June, so it's not the end of the world, but I just wonder if there's actually anything I could do about this, cos it seems that it wouldn't matter what I said or did, she'd still feel the same.

Sounds like whatever her problem is with you is out of your control, like maybe you just remind her of someone she doesn't like or something like that?

AnnieK 13-12-2013 09:12 AM

I guess you could do one of two things:

Ask her for a quiet word and see if there truly is a problem, she will probably say there isn't but at least she may change her behaviour slightly...
or
Punch her in the face - she will still hate you but at least she'll now have a reason :laugh:

Niamh. 13-12-2013 09:14 AM

Option 2!! Option 2!!

smeagol 13-12-2013 10:37 AM

ask the b atch . go up scream in her face and ask whats her problem and say do you fancy me or what,. drop your attitude or drop your knickers lol

King Gizzard 13-12-2013 10:38 AM

I don't like not being liked and I don't really see a problem with it

Livia 13-12-2013 10:44 AM

Having worked in politics for a couple of years, I realise I could never have lasted this long if I gave a stuff about what people think. Some people judge you without ever knowing you. That's their problem, ******* them...

Get in to bitch mode Lily. She's not in a position of seniority, she's your tutor. She kind of works for you.

Vicky. 13-12-2013 11:44 AM

Not in the slightest

Tom4784 13-12-2013 11:53 AM

I don't waste my time caring about people that don't like me, I just refuse to acknowledge their existence. If I can't do that though I'll opt for killing them with kindness, smile a big patronising smile and drive them mad by rubbing the fact that you are the better person in their face by refusing to be affected by anything they do.

Z 13-12-2013 12:00 PM

Yes. My best friend's girlfriend has been nothing but a ******* to me, and I don't like to use that word to describe a person unless I really mean it. When they first started dating I was living abroad so I'd only really met her a handful of times and by the time I was back at uni, they'd been dating for nearly a year - obviously by this point she felt that she had enough control over him to not bother with his friends, because whenever I'm in a room with her she will actively ignore me unless she's forced to engage with me in conversation, where she will always be short and avoid looking at me. At first it really got to me because I'm used to getting to know and getting on with my friends' significant others - they're not always my friends too, but I know that I can have a chat with them at the very least.

They've been going out for over two years now and it's definitely impacted on my friendship with my best friend, we don't see each other as often as we used to and we don't speak unless we see each other - but whether or not he's aware that she has a problem with me I'm not sure. He never mentions her around me and he never brings her anywhere that any of us are going to be - I'm not sure if that's because she just doesn't care to know any of his friends or if he doesn't want us to mix, but it's very frustrating because that's the exact type of relationship I saw my older brother slip into and now he has no friends and he doesn't even have a family anymore, having chosen to distance himself from us.

I just keep hoping they'll split up and that'll be the end of that; but obviously I would never say anything to him because it's absolutely none of my business and it's not my relationship - clearly she makes him happy and that's all that matters. I just find it really, really strange behaviour to not only avoid getting to know your other half's friends, but to actively ignore them when you are in a room with them. She's a bitch, I used to be a bit upset that she was so off with me but now I just think she's a horrible person.

Kazanne 13-12-2013 12:23 PM

No it doesn't bother me at all,I'de rather have a few true friends that I know like me ,than lots of fairweather aquaintances anyway,Ide be suspicious if everyone liked me as I can be such a bitch.Also if everyone liked you and you liked everyone something there is false:hugesmile:

Jessica. 13-12-2013 12:29 PM

It only bothers me if they act on it. One time I was sent to the office to get something for a teacher in school and I saw my Home Ec teacher in the hall when I was going down the stairs, she is in her 60's and has always been so grumpy, well I decided to greet her nicely, since I was in a good mood and she just stood and glared at me, but it made me laugh and I tried to continue without causing trouble.

Anyway about an hour later I got called out of another class by my Irish teacher saying that the Home Ec teacher was thinking of pressing charges for intimidation because I was sneering at her.. I know I didn't intimidate her and I lost all respect for her that day, when people act like that, spreading lies about someone when they are supposed to be a professional it really grinds my gears.

There are and have been plenty people who don't like me for no reason but they don't try to vocalise it apart from letting me know and I am fine with that, it doesn't bother me, if they don't like me then they are not worth making an effort for. :D

Natalie. 13-12-2013 12:34 PM

Doesn't bother me, I don't need people to like me

Kazanne 13-12-2013 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merrissey (Post 6541122)
Doesn't bother me, I don't need people to like me

:hug:

joeysteele 13-12-2013 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinselBalls (Post 6541116)
No it doesn't bother me at all,I'de rather have a few true friends that I know like me ,than lots of fairweather aquaintances anyway,Ide be suspicious if everyone liked me as I can be such a bitch.Also if everyone liked you and you liked everyone something there is false:hugesmile:

My guess is that you would need good reason to be like that with someone Kazanne because I only see you as one of the really nicest of people.
If you felt the need to get nasty towards someone then I would say they certainly would deserve it.

As to the question,I think at times it does bother me whether people like me or not, I have learned I can do little as to the situation if someone doesn't though and so I just accept that.
I do feel I do little to give any real cause for someone not to like me but if I know someone doesn't then I would make it that I avoid them at all times if possible.

AnnieK 13-12-2013 02:08 PM

Its kind of the other way round for me - a lot of people think I don't like them but its not that, I do weigh people up a lot and am pretty quiet for a long time and then once I have decided that they're all right I come out of my shell. I never realised until a couple of girls at work said I was awful when they first started work here and they thought I was hard work and a bit stuck up but then all of a sudden I'm the office idiot and the person everyone comes to if they need stuff sorting....it gave me a bit of a complex but I find it really hard to be all nicey nicey to people before I know them

Vanessa 13-12-2013 02:09 PM

It used to, but now i just don't care. I'm always polite to everyone, weather they like me or not. I treat everyone the same. :)

Apple202 13-12-2013 02:16 PM

no cos i do it to other people so dc

Apple202 13-12-2013 02:18 PM

well actually i dont really i just give people bad vibes if i dont think they like me even if i dont know for sure

Marsh. 13-12-2013 02:22 PM

In general no, it depends who it is.

I would have a huge problem if a tutor was being funny with me though. They are there to teach you, not make you uncomfortable. If it's so bad then try and discuss it with them or if they're being deliberately hostile then report them.

You're there for education, not to be treated like crap.

Cherie 13-12-2013 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karl (Post 6540984)
Obviously most people will say they don't care but i think deep down everyone wants to be liked
Yeah it annoys me when stuff like that happens and i will try and sort it out but i just lose interest after a while if the person still hates me :laugh:

Not necessarily. Whatever situation you are in from day you start school to the day you retire you will meet people who just don't like you, if you have done nothing to justify the dislike it is just a personality thing and their problem and as long as it doesn't impact on your life (like giving bad grades as in Lilys case) then so be it.

Kazanne 13-12-2013 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joeysteele (Post 6541155)
My guess is that you would need good reason to be like that with someone Kazanne because I only see you as one of the really nicest of people.
If you felt the need to get nasty towards someone then I would say they certainly would deserve it.

As to the question,I think at times it does bother me whether people like me or not, I have learned I can do little as to the situation if someone doesn't though and so I just accept that.
I do feel I do little to give any real cause for someone not to like me but if I know someone doesn't then I would make it that I avoid them at all times if possible.

Thankyou Joey that is sweet of you and I do try and like most people but some do make it difficult,As long as the people I like,like me ,then I'm good with that.:hugesmile:

Natalie. 13-12-2013 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinselBalls (Post 6541123)
:hug:

:flowers:

Livia 13-12-2013 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The baby Zeesus (Post 6541109)
Yes. My best friend's girlfriend has been nothing but a ******* to me..... etc.

Name and postcode. I'll sort it for you Zee.

fingers 13-12-2013 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 6541345)
Name and postcode. I'll sort it for you Zee.

The Gun Moll has spoken! Tutors will tremble! :devil:

Z 13-12-2013 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 6541345)
Name and postcode. I'll sort it for you Zee.

:devil: incomiiiiiiiiiiing

Brother Leon 13-12-2013 04:43 PM

In school days yeah, but these days I don't give a ****. My circle of friends is tiny anyway and I wouldn't want it any other way.

fingers 13-12-2013 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Father Simpmas (Post 6541393)
In school days yeah, but these days I don't give a ****. My circle of friends is tiny anyway and I wouldn't want it any other way.

That Snowman is one fat assed Bastid!

lily. 13-12-2013 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 6541041)
Get in to bitch mode Lily. She's not in a position of seniority, she's your tutor. She kind of works for you.

I find it difficult to know where she fits in that respect Livia..

Like, at work, there are clear roles and I know the chain of command, so to speak..

The last time I was in education, I was a teenager, so things were very different, but I class her as senior, because she's the class leader.. Unfortunately, she's also the department leader. I think she might be on a power-trip to be honest. I tried the 'Dean' method of being super-nice, but I'm still getting the snarky comments from her, and everyone else notices it.. I think they're all waiting for me to crack and just effing lose it with her lol..

Shaun 14-12-2013 12:09 AM

say crack again

Kizzy 14-12-2013 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinselBalls (Post 6541116)
No it doesn't bother me at all,I'de rather have a few true friends that I know like me ,than lots of fairweather aquaintances anyway,Ide be suspicious if everyone liked me as I can be such a bitch.Also if everyone liked you and you liked everyone something there is false:hugesmile:

:joker: I knew there was a reason I love you..Couldn't have put it better myself!

However as this is a tutor there really shouldn't be anything personal affecting how you interact, have you ever given them cause to have such a negative perception of you lily?

MTVN 14-12-2013 12:37 AM

Yea majorly, one of my weaknesses that I hate to be disliked and feel obliged to always try and change that persons opinion

Marsh. 14-12-2013 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Moonracer (Post 6542457)
Yea majorly, one of my weaknesses that I hate to be disliked and feel obliged to always try and change that persons opinion

I thoroughly detest you.

King Gizzard 14-12-2013 12:51 AM

King Moonracer the prick


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