Things that could only happen to Zee.....
 

I'll start with one I have unashamedly stolen from another thread....

Being invited out with a couple (luvvers) on Valentine's - it could only happen to Zee.

You get the gist..... next please :pipe:

catching crabs without actually sleeping with anyone

Being Zee - It could only happen to Zee.

Picking the only seat in the cinema that was last used by a girl who got fingered by her date.

:laugh3:

Get stuck in an elevator with the prince of norway - only zee

:joker:

Oh I've got a new one! Getting invited out by my only mutual friend to hang out with the person who gave me scabies; the mutual friend isn't aware that that happened :umm2:

:joker:

Scabies and crabs?....picking the scuzziest friends on the planet? It could only happen to zee!

Your friend very possibly telling your lecturer that you find them attractive and then that lecturer being assigned as your dissertation superviser :umm2:

Accidentally marrying his cat and catching rabies

Deeply offending someone who I used to sort of be friends with after he'd mentioned the fact he'd maybe gotten a girl pregnant but she had a boyfriend and it was all complicated and everyone else apart from me was ripping into him making jokes and he went "ugh I wish I'd never brought it up" and I went "well you're not bringing it up are you..." after everyone went silent :umm2:

I mean you know, 10/10 to me for hilarity but yeah we've not spoken in 3 years now LOL

:laugh2:

It's really awkward, I was with three of my friends at Christmas and we were going for a catch up at this bar and we bumped into him and he didn't even look at me once :laugh3:

Bit OTT on his part

I actually love you. You're my type o' friend :laugh2:

I know! I hadn't even said anything about him when everyone else was ripping into him and apparently mine was the one worth getting mad over... ah well, we weren't close, it doesn't bother me it's just hilariously awkward :laugh:.

Oh another one, I got in my lift the other week with like four other people but I only just made it and I don't tend to make eye contact with people in lifts (because who does? Psychopaths, that's who) and then two of them got out on the 3rd floor and I realised the other two were my flatmate and his girlfriend but I've only seen him twice before and don't actually know his name and it just seemed way too late to be like "oh hi" so I then had to get out of the lift and walk into my flat with him right behind me and didn't once acknowledge him :laugh2:. His girlfriend even went "oh my God!" in English (they're foreign but I've no idea where from) and started laughing and saying something in whatever language they speak, so mortifying!

Oh Zee :laugh:

why didn't you just say Oh Hi, God i was away in my own world there i didn't even notice you

It all comes far too naturally for me... :laugh:

Because that's something rational, normal people would do whereas I'm some kind of embarrassment-human hybrid who isn't capable of such things

Also, they didn't say hi to you either so aren't they equally as bad?

he should have kept it in his pants then, twat.

Yeah probably. I'm not sure how great his command of English is, never had a proper conversation with him (or any of the people that live in my flat, really)

omg :laugh2:

zee will be found naked and hand cuffed to a lamp post after being mistaken for an asian guy after he over done it with fake tan.

I've never fake tanned in my life :hmph: but I bet if I did I'd get some in my eyes and I'd go blind

true,:joker:

Did I ever overshare about the time I gave myself a chemical burn down there in my efforts to get rid of the scabies? It worked and it was worth it but oh my God never again

:laugh3: I have never known anyone like you Zee :love:

You're like a human version of Emmerdale, I feel for you so much <3

I dunno I reckon Ninastar gives me a run for my money :laugh:

:D

The female Zee

can you have your own sitcom please :love:

getting conjunctivitis after being splashed in the eye by his own arm falling into a puddle after it's chopped off by a passing train, and the train was his 07:23 to work

My mum's always telling me I'd write a hilarious autobiography but I've not done anything actually worth reading about :joker: