The sick jokes thread.
 

It's different to the other thread that I've made as this one requires inappropriate jokes instead of them just being out and out awful.

Ok I'll get the ball rolling.

1. What did the Priests say in their review of Disney XD? Who remembers the days when it was Fox Kids?

2. What did former BNP leader Nick Griffin say about gay people? That they like to puff up everything.

3. What did people say about the woman that said that she was raped? That she's milking it dry now.

This thread isn't meant to be offensive towards anyone and hopefully you will all join in on the sick jokes, and the un-pc jokes that I want to be able to be made on the thread because as long as it's a joke it shouldn't be taken offensively imo.

I'm more offended by how illogical and unfunny they are than anything

:joker:

:umm2:

WTF - that new avatar. :joker::joker::joker:

A real sick joke.
 

Two pieces of Vomit were walking down a terrace street. One stops at an alleyway and just stares at the floor. Tears well in his eyes. "What's wrong?" asks his mate. The sad vomit points to the alley and says: "That's where I was fetched up".

:dance::dance::dance:

The black actor in the storm trooper getup on the new Star Wars trailer has been the recipient of online racial abuse and death threats

Then again, he is on the dark side.

I was at my local indian last night

when the waiter came over and said,"Curry ok sir", I said ok one song then Feck off

:nono: racialist

family guy is such a great show

:joker:

How are these sick?

These are just mediocre jokes.

post your idea of a sick joke then and we will judge you

:fist: Hey Beyonsleigh - Mine was definitely a sick joke.

What’s one similarity between a jew and a stiff nipple?

They both disappear after a hot shower.

Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital

Being opened by Jimmy Saville

What's brown and crispy and scratches on glass?

:joker:

I was looking for a new flat, and found a nice place in the centre of town that seemed ideal.

"It's only £600 a month," the woman told me. "But no children or pets."

I had to turn it down. It was a bargain but I wasn't willing to give up my sex life.

My mate just text me: 'What are you up to?'

I text back: 'Just raping my daughter's Xmas present'

He wrote: 'Lol.....You mean wrapping?'

I text back: 'No, I've got her a pony'

oh god

:joker:

Me:- Boss i am not coming into work to day coz i am sick.

Boss:- How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

:laugh2:

YASSSS we're onto incest now, a game the family can play

Arista's wife said to him last night" Do you fancy going away for a little while?"

He said, "Yeah, I'd love to."

"Good" she said. "Because I've just found the DVD of you shagging the cat."

:fist: That was Morsh and the cat

he admitted it earlier:idc:

A professor at the University of Kentucky was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hand.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says "Son, of all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Bubba replied, "Awwwwwww Shiiiiiiit!! From way back there I thought you said 'goats'."

this thread

http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1...ce2io1_250.gif

marsh

What's red and orange and looks good on hippies?

Fire.

Awwwww, young love :love:

FFS :laugh2::laugh2:

:joker::joker::joker:

:joker::joker::joker:

What's red and slimy and wrapped in newspaper?

:smug:

It bloody wasn't. :fist:




As if I'd film it. :idc:

What's the difference between a gay man and a fridge?

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning."
He replied, "No, just having a sh*t."