South London : shoppers watched as a man jumped to his death
 

[Horrified shoppers watched as
a man jumped to his death
from the fourth floor of
a Debenhams department store
The man plunged from
upper floor at the store
in Sutton, south London
Tearful staff were seen
leaving store after being
interviewed by police
Police say the man's death
is not being treated as suspicious ]


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz4Gw6xMXrT

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/...0825458856.jpg
Sutton.

I can understand someone wanting to take their own life. I can't understand them doing it in this way and involving so many horrified eyewitnesses.

What a sad tragedy, also how awful for anyone to see happen too.
When someone gets to the depth they must be to want to end their own life, it is probable clear thinking and reasoning goes out the window.
Once that trigger finally goes,it won't matter where the person is or who they are around.

Really sad for him and I don't know what he must have being going through, but I don't understand, even when people decide to commit suicide, why would they do it in such a public place. I feel for anyone going through that kind of pain in their lives, and there's obviously no 'good way' of taking your own life, but putting other people through the trauma of seeing it is unnecessary. Kids especially would be scarred for life seeing that.

This, I can sympathise with people who are in so much pain that they want to end everything but the ones that choose to kill themselves in ways like this (or by jumping in front of traffic/trains etc) are basically passing that anguish on to others.

I guess some people are so past the point it doesn't even cross their mind the affect it'll have on witnesses. Maybe others take comfort in the fact they're not dying 'alone'. I don't feel any less sorry for people who commit suicide in private or in public.

Apparently it happens so often on the Paris underground, that every driver has had it happen multiple times :umm2:. I definitely agree though, I know of a guy who walked out in front of an 18-wheeler on the motorway. Like yeah OK a surefire way to die... but what if the thing swerved and hit a car? Or crashed and caused a pile-up?

Then again, I guess when you've got to that point, of not caring whether you live or die, you aren't thinking about or considering these things.

Not bothered about others feelings
I assume

Why the **** do people feel the need to make stuff like this so public? Fair enough, top yourself, but why traumatize many others too?

REALLY comes across as just attention seeking to me, when these people stand on bridges waiting to be talked down and such.

I obviously feel sympathy for people who feel the need to take their life, it must be an awful situation to be in, but to do it so publicly that it's going to scar people for the rest of their lives is beyond selfish, I was on a bus last month and I got chatting to the driver, he told me about a woman who threw herself in front a bus a month before hand and the driver of the bus was doing his first day on the job and he was so traumatised by it, he quit and didn't go back, it's an awful thing to put on someone.

Exhibitionism maybe? We do have many willing voyeurs.

Usually when someone does it in such a public manner it's to make some sort of statement of self-victimization. Maybe less about the patrons of the mall and more about the shock it will cause people who recognize them through the news. It has more impact (pun not intended), i.e. is more emotionally harmful, than a self-serving Facebook message or a letter sent through a relative that can be more easily refused, refuted or dismissed.

Edited for clarity.

I know someone who's brother committed suicide by jumping off a bridge, and although I don't understand it either, I don't think it's attention seeking. He hadn't sought any kind of help before doing it, he hadn't shared any of his problems with anyone, I think if it was just attention seeking he'd have done things like that, and he wouldn't have actually jumped. I don't know why he did it though, or what he was going through.

I imagine they don't realise the aftermath really because so much is going on in their heads, I don't think they mean to put the people who saw it through trauma they just want to end their life.

I remember something like this happened in the bullring the other week, I wasn't there but I read that people were taking pictures of it.

This.

Clear thinking and reasoning probably just goes out the window.
At the point they reach,where the confidence comes to where they want to end their lives there and then, as the best opportunity presents itself to be sure their life will be ended.

They never think of how their family may get on after their death, the loss of likely insurance that will not pay out on death if it is suicide, nothing likely matters except they are at the end and really will not and cannot take any more of what has brought them to this really no hope at all scenario.

I would be sad and affected for a time by seeing someone die this way,however I would be so sad that anyone felt that way and felt they had no one or nowhere to turn to.
Just grateful and hopeful that I or no one may ever have to feel that way or reach such a desperate point in life.

Yeah jumping off a bridge is different than doing it in a mall. If I had to choose (not remotely suicidal here), it would be one of my choice methods because the public exposure is potentially more limited (at certain hours) and better than a family member finding a body at home. Though all suicide is inherently selfish, especially if going by culture. In other cultures though, especially ones that are less individualistic; more group-based, it can be seen as largely unselfish in light of one's failed standing or burden on the overall group (generally society). Like an elderly person who can no longer take care of themselves and is a burden in family. That was common in Japan after the To'hoku earthquake and nuclear evacuation.

Vicky's post seems like it is most likely referring to incidents regarding those who make a scene of it in order to be talked down. I agree with her mostly, but I would change the label a bit from "attention seeking" to "cry for help" in most cases. Though the latter is still technically attention seeking.

My husband works in a mental health unit in a detention facility and he sees more of the attention-seeking variety, but the environment is likely to reinforce those behavior patterns in the dysfunctional (i.e. the person is in depowering position and works with the staff on a more child-like level). As long as they pretend to be sick and are truly in need, they will exaggerate situations in order to get the intended result, so usually it is a goal-oriented statement. You see the same thing in nursing homes really.

I Get You
Vicky.

But the fella is Dead
he can no longer see what a shock he caused


Sign Of The Times

If it was that, they would just take a bunch of pills or hang themselves at home or something though...not decide to do it in a public place.

I guess there is always going to be someone coming across the body, but there is NO need to make sure hundreds of people see it tbh.

I know labelling suicide as a selfish act will probably be argued to the end of time, and I normally can't see how it can be called as such but stories like this make me realise it can be.

Most of the time it is selfish as they dont care about the people they leave behind

This. It's horrible if you want to take your own life but if you're going to do it in a way that harms other people (like when they land on people from jumping off buildings or drive into incoming traffic) I lose all ****ing respect for them. Disgusting, reckless and selfish.

I don't agree.

For example, yesterday was the one-year anniversary of my childhood bestfriend's death. She took her life as a result of many terrible things going on in her life (some I wasn't even aware of), but what I do know is that she loved her family and her friends. The loss is evident on a day to day basis. I live in a small town and a significant number of people were hurt and saddened by her death.

I hate it when people say it's the easy way out too. Calling it selfish is an easy label, but life is such a complex thing that I don't think it's fair to make such general statements. Maybe the same could be said for me but I think there's so much more to suicide than the act itself.

Im sorry but the sensible thing would to be seek help first not kill yourself and leave a lifetime of pain for your family

It really is the easy way out though? Instead of dealing with your problems, you just end it all. I don't see how it can be described as anything BUT the easy way out?

I disagree with it being 'selfish' in ALL cases though. Sometimes it can be.

But easy way out, most definitely. Leave everyone else to pick up the pieces.

there is no rational thought here, its a black hole that offers no solutions, we have no clue at the mo about it medically and there are no solutions or logic to make it better/understandable

Some people aren't in a fit state to get help themselves.


Sorry, I don't agree. I get where you're come from re: leaving everything behind and not wanting to deal with problems, but calling it easy just doesn't suit right with me. That's probably because of how I view the act itself though. I know there are less painful ways to take your own life, but there are some that I can't even imagine that someone's pain threshold can take. I also think that sometimes the pieces are already there for people to pick up whilst they're alive, but it unfortunately doesn't happen that way on some occasions.

I don't think it's selfish in all cases because I said in this instance it's understandable for it to be called as such.

The person was probably mentally ill. Normal people don't do this. I doubt they were in their right frame of mind and rational thinking went out the window a long time ago.

That's another good point,we do not know what it was that brought him to this or whether he had any mental health issues either.
To me it's just a tragic loss of life whatever the reasons behind it.

It's common for mentally ill people to have a higher pain threshold than others.

I have to wonder though what you would think if that person willingly left behind young children or a family in shambles? It's hard to imagine those scars ever healing for someone that is so young.


Pulling out a page from my own experience...

One of my closest friends from a long ago struggled with bipolar depression and various other maladies. We met when we were in our 'tweens. Though initially I held her in high regard, we fell out majorly several years later.

Ironically enough it wasn't her propensity for self-harm (wrist slashing), her over-dramatic reactions to every "problematic" discussion with her or the way she would antagonize others personally to further flame the issue and then subsequently her plight. I accepted all of that about her and loved her dearly.

I realized over the years that not only was her sense of self-compassion/empathy just broken, but that it also broke her empathy for my own situation. I felt if I had failed, it was all my fault because it's not like if I had a mental issue. No, sadly very sane and capable of analyzing myself. I was always much harder on myself than others. It made me feel quite ****ty because some days I was just not as emotionally involved in some things as she was. Afterall I was the strong one, but because I was not overly emotional and because I do not tend to wear my feelings on my sleeve, I was meant to bear all the weight of the relationship while at the same time she had unlimited passes to misbehave, betray or otherwise ostracize me for my own character issues. That did horrible things to my self-esteem, not really because of her reaction, but because of the bullying that was subsequently enabled (ironically, the same cruelty she'd always "detested").

We stopped communicating until my early 20's and then we resumed communication for a few years after... sadly she'd changed very little. She still lived at home, was addicted to the medications and was going through yet another program and in the meantime, was nonchalant about dragging her entire family through the mess. Worse, she still didn't comprehend the hell she'd put others through.

She still would do things such as run for the family window only to force her very young brother to have to wrestle her to the ground. She would still go out and act out sexually, even though she'd been assaulted in the past (and had other psyche diagnoses/problems because of it), to the worry and concern of her mother and to her own pleasure, her father.

I didn't bear a grudge at all as I'd buried the hatchet long ago, and ironically that was why I had to let her go. I waited for years for her to go beyond the surface (our communications were very surface). I never got that invitation. In fact, there were various things she'd say and do that felt that were points I felt she was still punishing me for initially leaving her (aka hurting her). She is hell on wheels. I never told her any of this, what I'd really felt about her actions or what she'd personally put me through. I don't think she even suspects anything. She'd maybe thought I was upset about some other things, placing blame on my tough exterior and my confidence, but all she ever seemed to notice was my poker face.

How I'd constantly worried about her state and after the wrist-harming (in blatantly morbid detail), the suicidal discussions, the pressure she put on me to meet her expectations. At 12 years old. Even in my 20's, I was intimidated by her and due to her "fragile" state, never told her any of these feelings. I was terrified to bring it all back up.

The worst part is if I had, it would've been majorly healing. Instead she ran off when I'd out of the blue announced I was done. It was sudden and after months of a pit in my stomach. Nothing really happened. I just didn't feel there was any future. I didn't pursue her. Knowing her past, was afraid she'd attempt again or find her friends, give them my contact info so they could put me on blast (i.e. bully me)... they were generally even less empathetic than her which is why I generally stayed out of her circle. I wasn't emotionally invested in our relationship anymore but I think the good memories will always remain. I have long forgiven her but if she showed up at my physical doorstep without invitation, it would be a very bad day :laugh:

I just feel for anyone who has to deal with such circumstances. I don't feel like a person should be chastised for being mental or having issues. That would be awful. We can't all be impenetrable rocks. However, I don't think because everyone else is in a much better condition that a person's aftermath should then swept underneath the rug and then relabeled to be something kinder gentler like "Oh they were just mentally ill...", etc... it does a disservice to the others who were also victims. What about the people who are left with the grief? Or the scars that will never be able to heal, not only from the aftermath, but if that person had left behind a lot of unfinished business/sour milk... you can't even tell that person you love them and properly let them go. If that last communication you had were a bad one, you'd be scarred with it in your memory and never forget. I still remember the day she confessed about the self-harm after her mother had noticed her scars...

It hurts a lot more than than some people realize.

Yeah I think you're right, its more that it just isn't something that would come under consideration I suppose. It's easy for us to say things like "why didn't they think about this...???" but I guess when you've reached that point you're not thinking like someone normally would, so maybe they can't be judged in the same way.

The kind of mental distress/trauma someone goes through at that point would override rational thought I suppose.

It's hard to know what goes through the minds of people who are in the depths of despair. I don't trust psychology to answer it definitively because human beings are so unpredictable.