Do you visit relatives graves
 

Do you visit relatives graves, if so how often?

Yes, i visited my great great grandfather, great grandfather, grandfather and father on Sunday as it goes and put some flowers on them all. Luckily they are all in 2 adjacent graveyards.

Occasionally yes.

Last night at an auction there was a box with a vintage real skeleton in it and it was weird holding this mans skull in my hand to think he was once a human with thoughts and a life, he still had a few teeth attached. It made 175 quid

Sometimes go with my mother for anniversaries/birthdays etc but I don't think I'd go of my own accord, don't really feel comfortable doing it.

I find graveyards fascinating

No, most of my relatives were cremated.

Yes

Not been to my fathers and brothers' in a while, and now I'm in New Zealand it'll be longer. I will visit them on trips back to England though.

No

I lately think i should, but i haven't been to the farm in so many years where my father's parents are.... and my maternal grandmother's grave is here on the outskirts of the city... but i just never think on a day off that I should be going to it. I guess it just isn't a tradition my family have ... i am thinking it is because we only have had one generation pass in North America

Mostly mine have been burnt

No...it's pointless unless you are religious.

Yeah. Along with a couple Friends that I miss dearly.

I used to visit my father's grave around two or three times a year as a child but I haven't in about 8 years at this stage. My grandfather (his dad) ended up being buried with him against my mother's and siblings will, I wasn't close to that man so it just feels spoiled and not special now.

LT? :omgno:


Not necessarily, it can be out of respect for those that are gone as well

No, I don't see the point as the person is gone and I don't find comfort in visiting the holes where their ashes are buried. I don't need to visit a grave to show my respects.

But why do you have to go to a grave to show respect? :suspect:

They are never going to know whether you visit it or not. It's all in the mind if you feel a 'connection' or whatever.

Yes every time it's his Birthday/Death anniversary
It's 2 days out your year to show your respect and so I do it

Let's not do this whole thing

No. I am a (unorthodox) Christian, so to me, they are no longer there, only what remains of their physical bodies. I get the respect aspect and laying of flowers etc, and that is fine by me because I would never try to impose my beliefs on anyone else or criticise something as highly personal as someone else's customs concerning passed relatives, but I actually 'talk' to my passed relatives - and friends - virtually daily and they are just as often in my thoughts.

Yet I'm not religious :shrug:

Meh. I don't see how it has any real meaning if you're not.

Most likely something you've been brought up to do just because your family do.

Incorrect, it is life affirming to recognise what has come before you, its nothing to do with religion, its about being alive

It's just a place to go with a pretty headstone in their memory. Doesn't have to have any religious connotations. For some people it's just a nice little tribute/memorial for them.

In Italy the headstones have photos on of the person, its a lovely idea

..when I visit my mum, I often go with her to visit her mum and dad's grave...not so much to pay respects for me but more that it's a time when she reminisces about them and about her childhood etc and I never knew my grandma/she died when I was a baby so I love to hear my mum's stories is the reason really and that's the time she talks most about some things../and weirdly it's just her and I time and getting to know my mum before she was my mum as well...I've only ever visited my dad's grave one time and it so much made me feel that he wasn't there/all that was there were his ashes but that's not him...and I hate the fact that my mum feels a link to where his ashes are so that she is disabled from living a life without him and moving closer to those who love her/the living who love her...which would be moving away from his grave...people we love/have loved and have had great meaning in our lives are in our hearts and in the things we are/they're a part of us so they're with us wherever we are always so I don't personally feel the need to visit a place of burial of a body or ashes etc...

I never have, the relatives I've had who have died have been cremated. I've never visited where their ashes have been scattered though.

I agree, I find talking about the person, looking through old letters/photos etc is a much better way to remember the person and keep their memory alive

No. I am not religious in the slightest. Obviously most can tell the rest of my opinion from this little snippet...so I won't go into it as its rather insensitive to those who do visit graves.

Who has hacked your account? :omgno:

Totally agreed with this.

Personally I find it sad to see unkempt graves, it feels like no one cares :shrug:

Apart from our children carrying our genes throughout their lives and passing them on to their children, it is exactly THAT what you say above which keeps us immortal Niamh, whether we are religious or not. While ever SOMEONE is TALKING about us, THINKING about us, and REMEMBERING us with love and respect after were gone, we LIVE.

You can do both?

This. It' feels like 'oh they're buried now, let's move on'. Otherwise you may as well just be cremated and scattered.

Exactly. I want to be cremated anyway, I don't want a grave stone or anything like that

If you like, I won't stop you :laugh: I was just talking about myself

I don't want to be buried either, it's one of my biggest fears. :laugh:

Tbh I find it sad that people see it in that way because a grave means nothing about how much you care about that person. It's supposed to be a personal thing rather than trying to prove it to others. :shrug:

Same.

Oh were you, okay

..I guess how my thoughts are is that at some point that grave will become unkempt in time but at no point will they not have had great meaning in your life and the lives of other generations as well in many cases...