Is it acceptable to describe some one as "the fat one"?
 

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2 work collegues discussing some new workers at work. "can you get someone to cover for mandy on the front desk?" says Tom. "Yes" says Marc "there is one of the new ones that has that very experience" "Oh?" says Tom "which one?"

Now Marc has not got the names to hand but he has met them as has Tom, briefly

"the em, the fat lady" says Marc

"aaah" right says Tom I will go and ask her

Now as Jesy is the only fat lady (she is 18 stone and 5 foot 6") Marc was efficient in going for the most recognisable aspect for Tom and indeed Jesy is a fat lady due to lifestyle choices.


But is that acceptable if not why?

I don't think it's acceptable, especially in a professional situation like that to comment on a persons weight no.

Only if
a) you have a good relationship with the person and
b) if they refer themself to it first, e.g. if they say 'oh yeah I'm the fat one' then I would understand they take it as a joke and not personally.

Never about someone you don't know though.

It's not acceptable, larger lady is still not great but acceptable.

Lt is a c xnt is not acceptable
Lt is a twat is acceptable

please give your reason - if you dont think it is then say why

Because commenting on a persons physical appearance (especially something that could come across as negative or insulting) is really unprofessional and rude.

I guess if they are new and they don't know the names it's acceptable in that sense, and it is not being said in a malicious way, in a work environment I have heard people referred to as little Sue or skinny Sue if there is more than one person of the same name, the problem would be if they continued to refer to her in that way once they know her name

I would probably be very tactful and say 'the bigger one' instead

People would have no qualms saying the ginger one or the blonde?

or the gay guy?

hair colour is different though, it's not negative or rude. Like saying the one with the massive tits would be a no no as well :laugh:

I think saying the gay guy wouldn't be acceptable either tbh

Is that any better :laugh:

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

Yes because saying someone is 'bigger' does not necessarily mean that they are fat

Charming

Oop I do this sometimes

Aren't you the spitting image of Katie Hopkins ...

its a method of identification although not polite. I mean where do you draw the line, the person with spots, the person that wears green shoes, the girl with glasses .... Its acceptable, but not polite. One would be better describing who they are by location

Difficult one but given obesity is a massive problem these days, affecting children as well as adults, and leading to lifelong health problems - causing massive problems for our health service we need to stop pussy-footing around it and call a spade a spade.

People need to be more aware - it is easy to bury the reality and pretend it isn’t so - and perhaps people need constant reminding that it is so - especially as most weight problems are self-inflicted and a completely preventable condition.

I agree with that, obesity is certainly a serious issue in todays society but being rude or ridiculing people isn't the way to address or solve it imo. I'm of the opinion that the vast majority of over weight people don't feel good about being over weight as it is, shaming them is only going to make it worse imo especially as alot of times over eating is an emotional thing, feel bad, eat more etc.

Well said

I do agree with that on the whole and am not necessarily saying we need to be offensively rude to people for the sake of being rude but I do think treating the subject by ignoring it for fear of causing offence has a negative affect.

I think now is an easier time than ever to address the issue with more and more people using gyms these days - people of all ages and shapes and sizes. It is far less humiliating these days and people are more likely to admire people for making the effort rather than sitting at home, feeling sorry for themselves and simply fuelling the problem.

I don't think it's ignored, I mean look at all the ads on TV for slimming world and weight watchers etc, you go on FB and there's always people advertising as personal trainers and people showing before and after pictures etc. That's all positive and encouraging and will get more people motivated. Calling someone the fat one isn't exactly going to inspire them to get on the training gear and go for a run, it's more likely to make them feel like s**t and make them want to hide away

It’s just easier to identify someone in a conversation by saying ‘the fat one’ ‘the gay one’ ‘the black one’ like I would never say it to the person but I think it’s harmless.

Mental health issues play a big part in over eating as well, and these cannot be addressed by going to the gym, its difficult to get the right help as well as without sounding mean we seem to be at a point where people need professional help for everything and everyone has a label so services are overstretched diagnosing everyone and given them a label

It can go either way I think... Maybe some people genuinely don't care and will continue to live the lifestyle of eating all day long, but with some it might really spark something in their mind to actually do something about it. Hearing it from someone else is very different from knowing it in your own mind.

I disagree with that, a person who is over weight knows that other people see that too, being reminded of it is just nasty

So you feel its okay to pass comment on someone else's life who you know nothing about because they are not the size you would like them to be?

Fat shaming is the best treatment for obesity.

Well if there were say, a couple of people one black one white wearing a uniform ,with the same name,in that same scenario how would you deal with that one? lol,sometimes I think you have to say it like it is but people don't like to be called fat,so I think using a less offensive word would be better,but if someone is fat,they are fat,no getting around it and most times by their own doing.I would probably say the bigger one.

No because it's rude and you should have manners

Thing is there is a name for that - wallowing - and nothing positive ever comes from it.

As I am getting older and not always eating the healthiest as knackered when I get home from work - it is easy to opt for convenient foods with a resulting weight gain. I used to worry I was too thin - seems silly now. Anyway now I am back from my holiday I plan to go to the gym, something I would never have previously considered, as it is now so accesible for all these days and I have no reservations about it. I am less concerned about what anyone else may think and more focused on my health and having more energy. People need to stop wallowing in my opinion as it achieves nothing and only holds people back.

Don’t get me wrong - I am not advocating being openly rude to people but people need to get over themselves and think bigger.

Each individuals lifestyle is their own choice though, some people are happy in their own skin and if they are not seriously obese to the point where they are at risk of death whose business is it, anymore than people who drink too much or smoke too much, it smacks of nanny state and interfering in peoples life's, what right does someone in a workplace have to tell someone else how to live their lives, I really don't get it.

The lady in the red top would suffice.

they cant see them at the mo and dont know what the fat lady is wearing

It's not acceptable for obvious reasons. On the other hand, if it's being used as an identifier in a private conversation between two people out of earshot of anyone else, then I don't think it particularly matters.

E.g. I have two young new-starts at the moment. Also in my shop there are two women, one is 62 the other just turned 40. If I was working with one of the young guys and he did something incorrectly and said that one of them told him to do it that way, and he couldn't remember their names and said "The older one"... I wouldn't think that was a problem.

... If the next day he then started referring to her as "the old one" to her face, that WOULD be a problem.

Most people are fat because of their parents and their lifestyle

show me a fat kid at school and 99/100 their parents are fat too would be my estimate

No right to interfere and no right to ridicule. Personally I was speaking more from a health point of view for some and people not getting too bogged down with what others think which can be an easy thing to do. At the end of the day people need to do what’s right for them.

But my point is that they don't actually hear it so maybe they just try not to think about it too much or something. :shrug:

I don't personally care what size anyone is. :shrug: It's simply a way of describing someone. Nobody has a problem with 'the skinny one' when that can be just as much of an offensive term as well.

This

I think it should still be avoided but if you don't know someone's name and really need a way to explain who you're talking about in that moment, I don't think it's that big of a deal to say "the fat one" etc. etc. if it's not meant maliciously.

I would go to hair color or something else first though unless that's not enough to explain them clearly.

hmm