Is Suicide selfish?
 

So in light of the current storyline in coronation street, it’s got me thinking what everyone’s opinions on the subject are, Do you feel that Suicide is a selfish thing to do?

No.

No.

It depends honestly, a really tricky question

No, nobody can ever imagine just what a person is going through mentally to get to that stage of taking their own life.

I've struggled with severe anxiety and depression in the past and that was intensely awful, horrible, life-ruining stuff (I didn't leave my house/garden for over 12 months because of it, seriously)... But even I never got to the point where I didn't want to go on anymore. To be at that point and to be in such a state of mind is pretty much incomparable to anything.

I used to think it was....like taking the easy way out and leaving loved ones to deal with it. It used to make me angry when I heard of people doing it.

But then I really thought about it and how absolutely bleak someone must feel for that to be the only way they can see to end the desperation they are feeling. To feel your only option is to do that, is absolutely heartbreaking. They will not be thinking of others because their depression is all consuming.

I suppose, yes, but not intentionally.

In that, due to the mental illness, the depression etc, the person committing suicide feels they are a burden and the world would be better without them. So, in that sense no, because they aren't thinking rationally.

No - although I think it’s good that Coronation Street showed Beth and Kate expressing this view tonight as it shows a variety of responses/perspectives.

Not intentionally but it can be depending on the circumstances.

For example, someone who jumps in front of a train traumatising people in the process is a selfish way to go (but I don't blame the person for this). That driver will be scarred for life.

But I find it difficult to get into that mind frame so I would never call them selfish, per se.

In some way yes, and in some way no. Depends what angle you look at it from.

My best mate took his own life and sometimes I'm angry at him for the pain he put us through, but I also think how scared he must have been to do somthing like that.

One thing that annoys me in this day and age is that male mental health is still a taboo. You’d think by now that it would no longer be such a taboo

Not intentionally, I wouldn’t say selfish, but it definitely is inconsiderate especially when a loved one walks in on a relative hanging from the air. You wouldn’t get over that sort of thing and it could cause that person to take their own life.

I agree with this,you have to be in a dark place to go through with it.

It’s a mental health issue so I say no.

I agree with this too.

Depression is a brain malfunction. It's not choice. Real depression, not feeling gloomy. Sadly we are miles a from being able to tell which is which

From personal experience I can say that suicidal person think they're doing everybody (and themselves) a favour by "catching a bus" (killing themselves).
I can only talk about suicide caused by depression. Severe depression feels like living in unbearable anguish, feeling almost physical pain of living in hopeless despair. And like with any unbearable pain, sooner or later, you'd anything to make it stop.
Sadly, treatment options are far from perfect and being in treatment on nhs, for example, can actually make you worse iykwim. So at the end of the day is all about personal strength and will to survive, both of which can and do get exhausted sooner or later.

No.
The anguish and loneliness you must feel to want to take your own life must be horrendous.

I know exactly what you mean, I've been there. :(

Totally agree with you though.

A sensitive issue. To jump in front of a train or car and leave some innocent person traumatised for the rest of their life is unfair, selfish even...but the state of their mind is only to end their life because they are in a dark place and desperate...therefore it's harsh to call them selfish...BUT to end your life in such a way when it has an impact on innocent people is equally unfair.
If you are in that dark place and you feel there is no other option then there are ways to do it without damaging or impacting others. Having said that family and friends will be impacted hugely. I speak from personal experience and a very recent one. Mental illness is a tough one...because I don't think we ever think that someone we think we know so well would ever make that ultimate sacrifice and only when it happens, family and friends feel guilty of not doing more. It's all too vicious and tragic.

a 21 year old hanged himself because his girlfriend cheated on him and was found by his brother

A 23 year old guy blew his head off with his dads shot gun and was found by his mum in the shed he showed no signs of depression.

Another guy hanged himself from the loft hatch because he had split from his girlfriend who he had a child with, found by his mum who could not lift him down, all people I know.

These cases above are selfish acts in my eyes.

Nobody ever really, to the "outside world", shows signs of depression.

Some of the happiest, funniest, most jovial people you know who seem to not have a care in the world could have severe depression and you wouldn't know it.

To an outsider those appear to be the reasons, but they could simply have been "triggers" in a long life of severe depression.

Lots of people with depression put on an act, like putting on a pair shoes each day.

A saying that as always stayed with me is, when you have tryed everything the last thing you try is again.

How do you think one guys parents feels that it was the dads gun he used and the mother finding him after hearing the gun shot opening the door and seeing that, he said good morning to his younger brother as he passed him on the stairs.

I totally get your point, but when someone is absolutely ravaged with depression they (or should I say their illness) don't take other people into consideration and all they want is a release and the pain they're feeling to stop, physical and mental pain. Agony, if you will.

I've suffered (and will do throughout my life on and off) with mild depression and severe anxiety, and that "MILD" depression was unbearable, so to have a severe case and get to the point of wanting to end your life, is unimaginable. Incomparable to anything else. Like what I feel/felt was agonising enough, so I have nothing but total sympathy for those with severe cases.

I think depression in itself needs more understanding so that people will see that people with depression who do sadly kill themselves are not acting in a selfish way, it's an abnormality of the brain that absolutely engulfs a person.

It's an extremely difficult question to answer actually.
I think the action itself can be seen as quite selfish. You're ending all your own problems in such a permanent way while leaving behind so much anguish and pain to your loved ones, especially those that find you.
But I don't think it's ever something that someone would do without months of internal struggle and it shows above anything why people need to talk more about this.

I totally get you!, but if those with depression don't seek help and keep it hidden those that love them can't help and will spend the rest of their life's asking themselves why didn't they see it.

If someone truly wants to kill them selves they will do it.

Nope. Though it doesn’t mean I’m encouraging it. People feeling suicidal really should get the help they need tbh...

Jonnii, thank you for your support.

The problem we have here is that the subject of the thread is too broad.
Reasons for suicide can be so varied. It's tough to compare somebody who does it in a moment of madness, say, trying to take revenge for perceived mistreatment by others (spurned lover, rebellious child, jealous spouse), people struck by sudden misfortune (bankrupcy, job loss, etc), people who are terminally ill, people with mental problems.
And even within those categories circumstances will be different and impact on others may be different.
A lonely woman kills herself quietly with sleeping pills and a plastic bag because she can't cope with her MS, a schoolboy kills himself by throwing himself off a bridge onto a busy motorway. He is bullied at school and blames whole society and wants to disrupt other people's lives in revenge. Both suicides, but not the same in their selfishness.

Agreed, if you want to kill yourself you can always do it.

As to those with depression not seeking help, life is not that simple.
Sometimes people are trapped pretending they're fine because that's what's expected of them.
Sometimes people try to seek help and are met with unhelpful or demoralised health service professionals. Sometimes depressed people cannot be persistent and eloquent enough to explain how they feel because depression diminished their cognitive skills.
I can give you some examples from my encounters with "help".
I moved from one part of London to another 6 years ago. I'd suffered from depression for the last 19 years and my records showed that. The first practice I registerd with at the new address couldn't manage to get my records transferred from the old practice for 6 months. I had to beg for every single prescription of antidepressants until they finally got my records. For the next two years it was smooth sailing. Then I started going downhill very quickly. Went to ask for a referral, a GP told me that I have nothing to be depressed about and should try his life to see what hardship is. So I changed the practice. There first doctor I saw agreed to refer me and then forgot while I waited for 5 months. Went to another who thankfully refered me straightaway. 2 months later had my assessment with a psychiatrist where I was told I have to wait up to a year to see a therapist. During that year they tinkered changing my antidepressants as nothing seemed to work anymore. Finally arrived at something that wasn't brilliant but made my life bearable. The therapy consisted of 8 1hr meetings with no possibility of extension (lack of resources). Try to get your whole outlook on life and unresolved issues sorted in 8 hours. After that psychiatrist had enough and started pressurising me gently to say I wasn't suicidal anymore. I complied and they dropped me. Am I better, yes. Am I cured, no. I'm still depressed and anxious. Sometimes I can't face the outside world. But according to them, I'm good to go.
I was persistent because I wanted to save myself for those I love. Others may not have enough strength to battle the system.

Geez, I'm giving Maru run for her money with the length of this post

Yes but as others have said, it’s unintentional.

Members should start a depression and anxiety awareness group on here.

It's NOT really a long post Twosugars, but it is a beautifully honest and brilliant post. Thank you.

AS with the other honest posts on here, I am genuinely moved and more than a little disturbed.

All too often on these forums, we become so used to unconscious imagery and imagined personas created by avatars and words, that we lose sight of the fact that there are real people - humans - behind the chat and discussions.

I have been 'depressed' as I guess most people have at some times in their lives but I don't think that I have ever suffered 'Depression' of the degree being revealed here and my heart goes out to those who are suffering from this.

We are all too familiar with the increasingly common reports of medical/surgical patients being kept overnight on trolleys in corridors through a lack of hospital beds and other atrocious and unacceptable 'horror' stories due to the NHS lack of funding crisis, but experiences like yours with the lack of care from Medical profession and Psychiatrists are less well publicised but as equally enraging and SOMETHING must be done to improve this unacceptable state of affairs.

I believe wholeheartedly that discussion has a cathartic effect on me and I hope - genuinely hope - that this is the same for you and other depression sufferers on here.

My Message Box is always open should you or anyone else ever feel any need to talk - politics or shet - it does not matter.

I have been made to stop and think about my views on certain subjects by the contributions to this thread about a subject which I hitherto never thought about, and THAT in itself is a fact to be lauded.

I don't know if I would call it selfish, but I do get interested in what's so wrong in someone's life that they would want to kill themselves?

I think it's actually quite a brave thing to do

maybe it would be braver to accept you have a problem and get professional help?

No I don't think it is and it upsets me when people say that like it's some frivolous decision people make. I can't even imagine how utterly low and helpless and full of despair a person must feel to get to where they think suicide is the only way to free themselves from that. My best friend committed suicide when she was 18 and I know she's not a selfish person and I wish she never got that life stealing disease, depression.

With all due respect LT, a lot of people who end up committing suicide have admitted they have a problem and have gotten professional help

I don't think it is black and white, I think if the person takes their life and outwardly there were no signs and they leave no note it leaves the family behind with questions that will never be answered and also at a loss as to why they couldn't help' so in some ways it can be unintentionally selfish as the person is so wrapped up in their own depression they can't take account of anyone else's feelings, just imagine if your brother, sister, mother, daughter took their life and you had no idea why? I don't know how I would cope with that

Of course , it is.
Totally.