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MB. Has Liked Some Songs So Far This Year
and here are 50 of them in some kind of predetermined order! (without any real perceptive or amusing commentary to back my opinions up with, because who do you think I am, Shaun?)
Some clues, and by some I mean one: there are eight artists with more than one song on this list, and if anyone manages to guess all eight then they have my permission to replace any song on the list with Stretch by Louise The list: Spoiler: |
#50 Carlos Vara – Confident indicative of the general level of wig-snatchery you'd expect of a #50 on these kinds of lists ___________ #49 VINCINT – Please Don't Fall in Love you can drive off in his car, kiss his lips inside a bar, fall asleep inside his arms, but please don’t snatch my wig! (alas, too late. it is gone) ___________ |
#48 Gus Dapperton – Fill Me Up Anthem ...I haven’t frontloaded all the men on this list in the lowest possible positions, I promise (men can snatch wigs too! #malerights) ___________ #47 Chloe Howl – In the Middle (Sad Banger) meta song titles? with extra parentheses to boot? the wiggery of it all! ___________ |
#46 Girlpool – What Chaos is Imaginary more like ‘wig chaos is imaginary’, amirite ladies? there are 45 more of these still to go. ___________ #45 Zara Larsson – All the Time well I tried listening to this at breakfast time and my wig got snatched off right into my cornflakes, making it all soggy. so I think what Zara meant to say is that one’s wig shouldn’t be snatched all the time. just at the most appropriate hours. anyway Ruin My Life still sucks. ___________ |
#44 Clairo – Bags she’s walking out the door with your bags and also your wig ___________ #43 Harmony Byrne – Loving You is Lonely according to the statistics implicit in this ranking, one in 50 people are named Harmony. who’d have thought? ___________ |
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You are the best |
#42 Billie Eilish – bad guy as determined as I was to resist boarding the Billie Eilish train to Wig Snatch City for the entirety of 2019, I gave in circa the 29th of March when this song violently burst out of the chest of pop music like that scene from Alien. don’t expect me to buy a season ticket though!!!1!!11!!! ___________ #41 Zedd & Katy Perry – 365 turns out I already used most of the time-based puns I was going to reserve for this song on Zara Larsson, so I’ll just say that I’m grateful for this song for (hopefully) ushering in the Katy Perraisance we seem to currently be teetering on the brink of ___________ |
#40 Chloe Lilac – Manic Pixie Dream the haters will say there isn’t room for two pop singers named Chloe on one top 50 list, let alone in the lowest quarter of it, but those people clearly weren’t hugged enough as children! (wig) ___________ #39 Weyes Blood – Andromeda I’d like to think this is what Karen Carpenter would be releasing if she were still with us in 2019, and my wig is immensely grateful for it ___________ |
#38 Carly Rae Jepsen – Too Much Carly introducing this song to the gays for the first time: http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201407_0857_hicff_sm.jpg tbh there were a good half-dozen songs from Dedicated To My Wig that this slot could have gone to (shout out to For Sure, Everything He Needs and Want You In My Room), but I figured this would be most likely to have legs going forward, so here it is! ___________ #37 Rosalía – Aute Cuture peluca. ___________ |
#36 No Rome – Pink it’s very The 1975-lite, but it’s nice enough to be a placeholder for something from that mysterious new album they’re supposed to be dropping any moment now ___________ #35 Morabeza Tobacco – Ally McBeal Calista Flockhart (had nothing to do with this record but if she did, she would have) said gay rights! ___________ |
#34 Kira – Wanna Go Back wig found in a ditch, right next to where HAIM’s career will be once they hear this song! ___________ #33 Lana Del Rey – hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it my wig is a dangerous thing for a woman like Lana to snatch - but I stole this all-lower case schtick I'm using from her so it’s fine ___________ |
#32 Methyl Ethel – Trip the Mains easily the best track on this list that in places sounds suspiciously similar to the titular song from Fame ___________ #31 James Blake – I'll Come Too he’s just a bit good, isn’t he. quite possibly the saddest song on this list, as long as you don't count the chart placement of anything released by Katy Perry. ___________ |
#30 Wallows (feat. Clairo) – Are You Bored Yet? enough to still be doing this ranking, yes (if you guessed Clairo as one of the artists who would appear more than once on this list, congratulations, you're a witch) ___________ #29 Jordan Rakei – Mind's Eye I couldn't tell whether to put "mind’s wig" or "wig’s eye" here and evidently it doesn’t matter because neither of them make a lick of sense ___________ |
#28 Ciara – Thinkin Bout You well I’ve been thinking about wigs Ciara, so that makes two of us (remember when her and Kacey Musgraves were Drag Race guest judges and they didn’t use a song by either of them for the lip sync? The audacity! The gall! The home of phobia!) ___________ #27 Shura – BKLYNLDN wig found on a regularly scheduled transatlantic flight path! ___________ |
#26 Sufjan Stevens – With My Whole Heart an excessive amount of discourse has been written recently surrounding Sufjan’s relationship with the queer community, his place within it and how he subtly communicates this complex relationship through his music, but really I put this on the list because I like the twinkly bits in the chorus ___________ #25 Bat for Lashes – Kids in the Dark https://i.imgur.com/aupbB4l.jpg ___________ |
#24 Karen O & Danger Mouse – Turn the Light more like turn the light-er coloured wig into a darker one, a la Roxxy Andrews in season 5 of Drag Race!!! references!!! https://media.giphy.com/media/IZREdONMJlqpy/giphy.gif ___________ #23 Liz Lawrence – Navigator Oxford English Dictionary defines “navigator” as “a person who explores by sea”. to do what, you might ask? to find my wig, of course! (fun fact: a na'vigator is what they call an alligator in the Avatar movies, or at least it would be if James Cameron let me write the damn things instead) ___________ |
#22 Barrie – Saturated just because you’re doing a Tammie Brown and spelling it with an ie doesn’t disguise the fact that you’re a pop band named Barry! you won’t fool me, nor my wig, that easily! ___________ #21 Hatchie – Without a Blush the Australians need to stop being so good at pop it’s getting embarrassing ___________ coming up in the top 20... some songs you'll have heard of! |
#20 MUNA – Number One Fan that's right, I'm a number twenty, Number One Fan, fan! I haven’t listened to this since compiling the list so I’m unable to verify, but it’s the most likely song of them all to actually have the word ‘wig’ in the lyrics somewhere, isn’t it ___________ |
So far I'm planning on working from the bottom up.
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I'm enjoying number 24...I thought I would give you half way...I will stop there as it's a cracking tune....have a nice one..
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#18 Mark Ronson (feat. Lykke Li) – Late Night Feelings thanks to this song, Lykke Li now has a top 40 UK hit under her belt. should Mark Ronson be knighted for services to pop music as a result? this fag says yes! (providing he… does something about the accent first) ___________ |
#17 Lizzo – Soulmate “if you by yourself, then go and buy yourself / another round from the bottle on the higher shelf” is the single most inspirational pop couplet of 2019 thus far and I doubt that'll change by Christmas ___________ |
#16 MorMor – Outside he sounds a bit Will Young-y in places, or is that just me? idk I just think it’s lovely <3 (not a patch on George Michael's frotting-with-a-cop-in-a-glittery-urinal song of the same name, mind) ___________ |
#15 George Maple – Champion the Aussies are at it again! if Lizzo was able to distill her inspirational message of self-love down to a single defining lyric, this song does the opposite and gives us two and a half minutes of non-stop motivational energy from start to wig-snatching finish, like some updated-for-2019 version of Britney's Work Bitch. I hear Muhammad Ali listened to this right before he won that historic Celebrity Boxing match against Joey Buttafuoco - are any historians available to confirm? ___________ |
outstanding
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#14 Anna of the North – Used To Be my wig used to be firmly attached to my scalp, but alas, one listen of this song and it is now in orbit p.s. I'm sure Brooke Lynn Hytes is kicking herself that she didn't trademark "of the North" earlier, not least because I'd love to see a bitter legal dispute between a drag queen and an Antony Gormley statue ___________ |
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#13 Steve Lacy – Playground ⚠️ someone-who’s-going-to-be-massive-in-about-two-years-if-the-universe-is-at-all-fair-and-just alert! ⚠️ (by which I mean he is hot) Spoiler: ___________ |
oh that's what he looks like? i forgive him for almost ruining the vampire weekend album, then
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#12 Georgia – About Work the Dancefloor it took a while to take off, but it’s just about beginning to get the recognition it deserves and with any luck it'll have gone stratospheric within a few weeks. but enough about my new wig rofl xD xD xD! this is a very good song, give Georgia lots of money please @ her record label ___________ |
#11 Carly Rae Jepsen – Julien this misses out on the top 10 solely by virtue of not being Run Away With Me! why can’t you be Run Away With Me!? also the title immediately makes me think of Julian Clary, which isn’t a negative per se (for he is a legend amongst men) but it does harsh the otherwise escapist-disco-dream-pop fantasy buzz ever so slightly ___________ |
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oh yeah and here's the top 10
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#10 James Blake (feat. Rosalía) – Barefoot in the Park I semi-accidentally YouTube'd 'Barefoot Contessa' while searching for this link so forgive me if I get carried away at any point https://media1.tenor.com/images/ef5c...a151/tenor.gif anyways I wouldn’t personally recommend ever taking your shoes off in public, even if it does enable you to make references to semi-obscure Jane Fonda films from the ‘60s, not least because bare feet are gross. but you do you I guess James! (the persisting rumours that BB16’s Cristian MJC has recorded a cover called Barefoot in the Shopping Centre have thus far been unsubstantiated) ___________ |
#9 Tyler, the Creator – EARFQUAKE can… can Tyler, the Creator see the future? should I ask him who the next Prime Minister will be (jk I’m not getting any money back from a bet on B*ris) allegations that the appearance of Tracee Ellis Ross in the video substantially boosted the placement of this song cannot be confirmed nor denied at this moment ___________ |
#8 https://66.media.tumblr.com/e0cc96b7...io4_r1_540.gif (welcome back, Katy. we’ve missed you) ___________ |
#7 Maggie Rogers – Burning whew! a pop star! I’m currently burning all my wigs in her honour! **** climate lives! so you see? Burning isn't just the name of a South Korean psychological noir that was criminally overlooked on the awards circuit this year! https://static.rogerebert.com/upload...ing-poster.jpg ___________ |
#6 Tame Impala – Patience depending on your perspective, the concept of Tame Impala represents either a load of white people nonsense or a load of really good white people nonsense, and as you can infer I am in the latter camp (also I could have been really cruel and posted the Take That song instead, so look on the bright side) ___________ |
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