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The Amazing Drag Race (the gayest crossover event of the century)
because I'm not letting the Drag Race sub-forum go quiet during the off-season that easily. https://i.imgur.com/TSf2SN6.png The most ambitious crossover event of the century has arrived. Forget Drag Race UK. Forget Drag Race Canada. Forget Celebrity Drag Race and Drag Race Juniors and Drag Race on Ice and Drag Love Island (I swear I only made two of those up). This is the competition you've all been waiting for, ever since I realised the other day that RuPaul's Drag Race and The Amazing Race both have the word 'race' in the title. Eleven pairs of men in wigs, racing around the world for a cash prize of one million dollars and a year's supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics. Sounds like something that would go off without a hitch, doesn't it? In case you're somehow dubious... Here's how it'll work: In a format I saw on another forum, liked and decided to steal, this will work as a boosting game. This means that at the start of each leg of the race, you will rank the teams in order of preference from first to last. For example: Quote:
The game itself will run much like a regular season of The Amazing Race. No worries if you're not familiar with how TAR works: Wikipedia has a pretty thorough rundown on the rules, but all you really need to know for this version is that eleven teams of two will be racing around the world from country to country, completing various types of tasks (the ones you'll be hearing about most are Detours and Roadblocks; the first is a choice between two tasks, the second is a task only one member of each team can complete) along the way. At the end of each leg is a Pit Stop, at which the team arriving in last place will be eliminated. Well, unless it's a predetermined non-elimination leg, in which case they’ll get to carry on racing. The team who finishes first in the final leg wins the race. It's hosted by a man named Phil who has a funny accent and is sort of hot if you're into that cool-church-minister-who-goes-hiking-on-Saturdays vibe. And, because I'm a bored gay, I thought it might be a laugh to imagine drag queens doing all of the above. The racing bit, I mean, not Phil.* I'll be revealing the ten teams I've selected to run the race shortly, as well as the four teams vying to fill the final spot (which you get to choose, you lucky beggars). I'll also open a sweepstake if there's enough interest. Until then, in the words of Phil Keoghan himself – let's go, lesbians, let’s go! *when planning this, I didn’t give much thought as to whether the queens would be running the race in drag or not. I assume it’d be much more logistically convenient for them to run it out of drag, but if you’d rather picture Mimi Imfurst trying to hail a taxi on the streets of Dhaka in full mug and heels, be my guest! |
Teams: https://i.imgur.com/9GUWZQJ.png https://i.imgur.com/8uykyiX.png https://i.imgur.com/z3oOqW1.png https://i.imgur.com/HksSiuG.png https://i.imgur.com/nAqsPrD.png Alaska & Willam / Jasmine & Kennedy / Jinkx & Dela / Mayhem & Morgan / https://i.imgur.com/aMJRuLp.png https://i.imgur.com/FQSsaCp.png https://i.imgur.com/FY5tqrg.png https://i.imgur.com/xZVefmP.png https://i.imgur.com/lodoKKO.png Wildcards: https://i.imgur.com/2cfyTql.png https://i.imgur.com/VUoGbvY.png https://i.imgur.com/gIxRgdn.png https://i.imgur.com/3tLvcFp.png Kelly & Tammie / Placements: 1st - 2nd - 3rd - 4th - 5th - 6th - 7th - Sasha & Shea 8th - Farrah & Valentina 9th - Monét & Monique 10th - Gia & Laganja 11th - Alyssa & Shangela Sweepstakes: Alaska & Willam - Ammi Bunny & Coco - Jasmine & Kennedy - Shaun Jinkx & Dela - Barry Kelly & Tammie - Black Dagger Mayhem & Morgan - ______________________________________________ |
Race Route: https://i.imgur.com/krlVKOS.png https://i.imgur.com/86JRexd.png https://i.imgur.com/lZKwfgZ.jpg https://i.imgur.com/94B139S.png https://i.imgur.com/ub6Jrbb.png https://i.imgur.com/TddqdEv.png Leg 1: United States → Colombia Leg 2: Colombia → Peru Leg 3: Peru → Denmark Leg 4: Denmark → San Marino Leg 5: San Marino → Italy Leg 6: Italy → Spain ______________________________________________ |
ah wanna play :(
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Clue for Team #1: they host a podcast together |
https://i.imgur.com/XPTbvbZ.png https://i.imgur.com/fZRspOc.png ______________________________________________ Alaska Thunder**** 5000 & Willam Very much the Martha Stewart and… well, Prison Martha Stewart of RuPaul’s Drag Race (you can probably guess which one is which), Alaska & Willam have managed to spin a media empire out of their collective two-and-a-half seasons on the show, despite their actual experiences of the competition being rather different (to say the least - the most recent episode of Race Chaser saw Willam trying to compare her parting quote from RuPaul with Alaska's, before Alaska not-smugly reminded her that she was never eliminated and so never got one). Between the two of them, they have amassed a total of eight studio albums, a podcast, an American Apparel ad campaign, a drag pageant and guest appearances on shows such as The Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelorette, Scared Famous and, yes, Boston Public with Loretta Devine. Will all of their media success translate to a strong run on The Amazing Race? I don’t bloody know. That’s why I’m making you lot decide. Showbiz! Most likely to: actually fly into, or at least over, the state of Alaska. Least likely to: travel to Alaska’s home planet of Glamtron (the CBS budget doesn’t stretch that far). |
I love this
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Clue for Team #2: they have competed on a total of five Drag Race seasons between them |
...the game graphics though..:lovedup:...yes please...
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https://i.imgur.com/nDCzcfk.jpg https://i.imgur.com/MA4yyAM.png ______________________________________________ Alyssa Edwards & Shangela If Alaska & Willam are the Martha Stewart(s) of the Drag Race world, the Haus of Edwards must be the… the Kardashians? The Knowles-Carters? The Clintons? The point is, if this were The Amazing Race: Family Edition, the Edwardses would easily snatch first place. Sure, haus mother Alyssa may have let Shangela spread her wings and fly the nest (to the Oscars of all places) in recent months, shifting much of her attention to the fledgling Plastique Tiara in the process, but what’s The Amazing Race without an ‘estranged loved ones trying to reconnect with one another’ storyline? Plus, any excuse for Jenifer Lewis to make a cameo along the way is fine by me. Most likely to: skip a leg of the race in order to attend an important awards ceremony. Least likely to: have sugar daddies. |
Clue for Team #3: they're non-Drag Race queens |
https://i.imgur.com/N3s0qYH.png https://i.imgur.com/ThcSpYJ.png ______________________________________________ Lady Bunny & Coco Peru I’m not saying that these two are old, but if I’ve got my gay history correct, Lady Bunny threw the first wig at Stonewall, as Coco stood by telling all the rioters that she remembers when the West Village used to be nothing but fields. Let’s hope TADR’s answer to Peggy & Claire can put their combined age to good use on the race, and prove to some of these young queens that, to quote Judge Judy, beauty fades, dumb is forever. Well, that, and I’m sure some of the airlines are bound to have AARP discounts, so they’ll always have something to fall back on. Most likely to: have their wigs arrested at customs a la Pete Burns’ coat. Least likely to: remember that they can’t just drive from one continent to another because Pangea broke up 200 million years ago. |
Clue for Team #4: they both have over one million Instagram followers |
https://i.imgur.com/rWkbMhI.png https://i.imgur.com/PPFK1Cm.png?1 ______________________________________________ Farrah Moan & Valentina The most Instagram-ready of our teams, and in that sense the anti-Bunny & Coco, Farrah & Valentina began their Drag Race careers as the best of frenemies (see: "you don’t love me" and "shut up Farrah Moan") and have up until now ended things on somewhat better terms, assuming Farrah doesn’t still hold a grudge against Valentina for beating her in a lip sync by pretending to be a cat. With one half of the team looking like Christina Aguilera circa 2002 and the other looking like Linda Evangelista circa 1990, can their youthful good looks propel them to the million dollars? Or will racing around the world simply not make sense with their fantasy? Most likely to: refuse to check into a Pit Stop until they’ve applied their highlight. Least likely to: be allowed on a flight without being accompanied by a parent or guardian. |
I'm so bloody here for this.
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Clue for Team #5: they lip synced against each other during their original season |
https://i.imgur.com/5sioXqi.jpg https://i.imgur.com/JIXLa8e.png ______________________________________________ Gia Gunn & Laganja Estranja The more environmentally-conscious of you won’t have to worry about this team keeping to their green flying duty when Laganja’s around, that’s for certain. Those who do have cause for concern will be hotel and restaurant owners, who may find their no-smoking signs vanishing at a record speed and being used as couture headpieces instead. Meanwhile, having someone as artful in the trade of reality television as Gina Gum on the team probably won’t hurt their chances of making it far in the race, unless she spends so long yelling at Coco Peru about her old nose in an airport terminal that she and Laganja miss their flight. What privilege! Most likely to: start an argument with Phil at the starting line (more of a Gia one, this one). Least likely to: succeed at a task which involves identifying Nancy Pelosi out of a line-up (again... more a Gia thing). |
Clue for Team #6: contains both a Drag Race runner-up and a Drag Race first boot, despite neither queen achieving these placements on their original season |
https://i.imgur.com/vZT5diY.png https://i.imgur.com/6FYn3bU.png ______________________________________________ Jasmine Masters & Kennedy Davenport While Jasmine is less in this race for the competition and the exhilarating sense of adventure it provides, and more as part of her global crusade to get weed legalised in every sovereign state on the planet, Kennedy is hungry for a win after coming so close in All Stars 3 (maybe she can chat to Shangela about that if they get stuck on the same flight. Start up a support group or something). With the added bonus of being the only queen in the race to actually share a name with an airport - or at least she will be until Laganja Estranja International Airport opens in Paramaribo next February - can the Dancing Diva of Texas strut her stuff all the way to a million dollars? And will Jasmine decide to clock off halfway through the race and force production to bring in a stunt double with a translucent bag over their head? Only time will tell! Most likely to: have something to say. Least likely to: not have anything to say. |
Clue for Team #7: they're both based in the same city (hint: it’s not in California, New York, Texas, Florida or Illinois) |
https://i.imgur.com/zxW1rTj.jpg https://i.imgur.com/cjxc976.png ______________________________________________ Jinkx Monsoon & BenDeLaCreme One’s a quirky weirdo outsider from Seattle who managed to overcome her inner saboteur and slay the three-headed beast that was Rolaskatox to snatch the crown in season 5, the other’s a quirky weirdo outsider from Seattle who took one look at Bebe Zahara Benet’s jungle kitty and decided to quit All Stars 3. Together, who knows what they might be capable of? Y'know, other than a straight-to-DVD remake of the movie Us (and as long as Jinkx doesn’t face any Roadblocks involving water and/or the backs of ducks, and Dela doesn’t face any involving lip syncing, that is). Fingers crossed Jinkx doesn’t accidentally mistake a clue for giblets for the cats either. Most likely to: scour duty free for lipstick and white-out before catching a flight. Least likely to: get a tan at any point during the race. |
Clue for Team #8: they were eliminated in the same episode, eight years apart |
https://i.imgur.com/3QC5MhH.png https://i.imgur.com/GPFBjMb.png ______________________________________________ Mayhem Miller & Morgan McMichaels Mayhem & Morgan have a lot more in common than just being from West Hollywood - they both won the first challenges of their original Drag Race seasons, only to be eliminated in week five after losing a lip sync to a Davenport (yes, Monét X Change is technically a Davenport, I swear I’m not making this up). As WeHo queens are known for being as vague as possible at all times, preferably when bitching about another queen on social media, these two should have the strategic element of the race on lock - if not just because they’ll always be too vague to accidentally give vital information to any other teams. Oh, and if our teams happen to run into any Nazis along the race, Morgan’s got you covered. Thanks Morgan. Most likely to: be eliminated fifth (it’s the statistics speaking, not me). Least likely to: have grievances with anyone they actually specify by name. |
Clue for Team #9: they have competed in seventeen episodes of Drag Race together, but have never lip synced against each other |
https://i.imgur.com/upJjN6a.png https://i.imgur.com/ndxpokn.png ______________________________________________ Monét X Change & Monique Heart Rumour has it that Monét was initially supposed to compete on the race with her podcasting sister Bob the Drag Queen, but it turns out that Bob is so inherently New York that it’s biologically impossible for her to leave the tri-state area for longer than a fortnight. So instead production roped in Monique, thus allowing her to put her hypothesis that the ooh ah ah sensation can indeed be felt in every nation to the test. Given how well they worked as a painting and decorating duo back in All Stars 4, racing across the planet should be a breeze for these two. Who said? Jesus. Most likely to: wake up in cold sweats in a hotel in eastern Europe after having had simultaneous nightmares about The Vixen. Least likely to: complete a painting Detour in a reasonable amount of time. |
Clue for Team #10: two queens who have participated in a Lip Sync for the Crown against each other |
https://i.imgur.com/FzxyEfO.png https://i.imgur.com/hf0lucI.png ______________________________________________ Sasha Velour & Shea Couleé Hey beauties, it’s Sasha & Shea! Given that they were basically edited like a team of annoyingly competent Amazing Race winners in their original Drag Race season, Sashea will likely have no qualms about being paired up in another high-pressure competition situation this time around. Unless they end up comparing the trajectories of their careers post-Drag Race at any point. Or their social media followers. Or get onto the subject of rose petals. Or unless Shea decides to gift Sasha a basket of hamburgers and shampoo for being such a great race partner. And that’s something you definitely shouldn't joke about. Most likely to: have the highest collective IQ of any team on the race. Well, unless Serena Cha Cha decides to take part, that is. Least likely to: joke about that. |
So, those are the ten teams I've chosen to take part in the race! Quote:
Next, I'll be introducing you to the four potential wildcard teams, and then it'll be up to you to pick which one you want to subject upon an unwilling planet... |
https://i.imgur.com/Wp7ZoIB.png https://i.imgur.com/r6aRj5U.png ______________________________________________ Wildcard Team #1: Kelly Mantle & Tammie Brown As much as it’s fun to bring in well-established pairs of queens to compete in the race, production knows that forcing queens with seemingly little history to work together is when the sparks truly fly. Which is to say that Tammie “it was a dead body!” Brown and Kelly “oh mama they tried to drown me in the ocean” Mantle deserve to be heralded as one of Drag Race’s finest dynamic duos as much as the next… er, I don’t know, Dusty Ray Bottoms and Jaidynn Diore Fierce (why not) and with any luck this race will rectify that. No combination of potential queens in the running matches the description of wildcard better than these two, which is why inflicting them upon a divided world as a kind of peace offering sounds pretty good to me. C’mon Bolsonaro! Teleport us to Mars! |
https://i.imgur.com/ljBxeH0.png https://i.imgur.com/4Q9Ijyq.png ______________________________________________ Wildcard Team #2: Kim Chi & Naomi Smalls That’s right, Kim & Naomi are hoping to be the first team sponsored by Klarna to ever run The Amazing Race! That’s Klarna, the shopping app that lets you buy now and pay later in just four easy installments. Enter now via the app or on the website to be in with a chance of meeting Kim & Naomi during a fag break in between filming in some random village in Moldova! #Klarna #RaceLikeAQueen #spon |
https://i.imgur.com/eZ06bNy.png https://i.imgur.com/KgFhPs8.png ______________________________________________ Wildcard Team #3: Nina West & Shuga Cain No stranger to controversial eliminations, Nina & Shuga should have plenty of fans on their side ready to go to battle for them in the event that they somehow get rigged out of their second reality competition in a row. But then again, they’re both so calm and congenial that I highly doubt they’ll kick up a fuss, even if they do happen to get eliminated on a leg consisting of a "learn and perform a magic trick" Detour and a "do a lip sync to No Scrubs" Roadblock. You know, just as examples. |
https://i.imgur.com/vsN1ULI.png https://i.imgur.com/hwiG4Oj.png ______________________________________________ Wildcard Team #4: Silky Nutmeg Ganache & A'keria C. Davenport Silky & A’keria are determined not to let the absence of their third Dreamgirl, Miss Vanjie, stop them in the race. That’s because they’re planning on smuggling her into Silky’s backpack, and if anything they’ll be more likely to get stopped because of Vanjie’s presence, namely in customs. Bonus points if they subject a terrified Phil to their two-woman rendition of And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going at the Pit Stop at any point and force a non-elimination in the process. |
Your job: It's now your turn to choose which of the four wildcard teams you'd like to see try and navigate immigration at the airports of the world while dressed like women. Will it be: Kelly Mantle & Tammie Brown (#TeamBrownBacon)? Kim Chi & Naomi Smalls (#TeamKlarna)? Nina West & Shuga Cain (#TeamNana)? or Silky Nutmeg Ganache & A'keria C. Davenport (#TeamDreamgirls)? To decide, please rank the above from 1st (your favourite) to 4th (your least), as below. For this round only, there'll be no randomising involved: simply, whoever gets the most votes will join the race. Quote:
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Team Brown Bacon have to get through because Team Brown Bacon are winning the entire thing.
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PM or in thread?
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