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Redway 19-10-2021 03:24 PM

Gay marriage
 
This might seem like an unquestionably basic right that any two (wo)men should have but in reality it infringes on the beliefs of many religious institutions so it’s open for debate even in 2021. What are your thoughts?

parmnion 19-10-2021 03:27 PM

You ain't allowed thoughts on this subject on TIBB.

Redway 19-10-2021 03:29 PM

I say option one isn’t the best idea because rampant (and to the lay Brit. very extreme) homophobia (or at least disapproval of homosexuality) is the norm in a lot of churches (and mosques without a doubt). Forcing those institutions to marry two men would be an infringement on their own rights.

Redway 19-10-2021 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by parmnion (Post 11104779)
You ain't allowed thoughts on this subject on TIBB.

TiBB’s been anything but left-leaning in the past couple of years so it is what it is, innit. I’m sure the worst of it as far as this topic goes would’ve been said years ago (when there were more members with hot/controversial opinions actively posting).

LeatherTrumpet 19-10-2021 03:37 PM

Yes I think the gays should suffer as well

Toy Soldier 19-10-2021 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redway (Post 11104780)
I say option one isn’t the best idea because rampant (and to the lay Brit. very extreme) homophobia (or at least disapproval of homosexuality) is the norm in a lot of churches (and mosques without a doubt). Forcing those institutions to marry two men would be an infringement on their own rights.

There's no point forcing the issue with churches that would be doing it "because they have to" - and why would anyone even want to be married under those circumstances? That said, in my benevolent dictatorial utopia, I'd just Thanos-snap organised religion out of the equation entirely. Spiritualism/philosophical theology I have no real issue with but the actual dogmatic organised institutions ... ? Nah, that can go.

Niamh. 19-10-2021 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier (Post 11104787)
There's no point forcing the issue with churches that would be doing it "because they have to" - and why would anyone even want to be married under those circumstances? That said, in my benevolent dictatorial utopia, I'd just Thanos-snap organised religion out of the equation entirely. Spiritualism/philosophical theology I have no real issue with but the actual dogmatic organised institutions ... ? Nah, that can go.

Yeah agree with this. Organised religions are sexist and homophobic for the most part

joeysteele 19-10-2021 04:01 PM

I think churches need to look at why in various accounts at least two thirds of marriages are now in registry offices NOT their churches.

Their houses seem to be in great disorder.

Gay marriage is legal in the UK.
Personally I'd doubt a high percentage of those wishing to marry, who are gay, would want to marry in a religious setting.

However, if religions use their church settings to discriminate against a legal union between individuals.
Then those religions will lose even more influence of the little they have now, particularly as to Christianity.

I voted the second option however I do feel in time, unless the attitude changes, churches will lose more and more of its congregations yet.
Deservedly so.

Redway 19-10-2021 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier (Post 11104787)
There's no point forcing the issue with churches that would be doing it "because they have to" - and why would anyone even want to be married under those circumstances? That said, in my benevolent dictatorial utopia, I'd just Thanos-snap organised religion out of the equation entirely. Spiritualism/philosophical theology I have no real issue with but the actual dogmatic organised institutions ... ? Nah, that can go.

A lot of gay people (you’d see what I mean if you’d been a bit more exposed to people from different cultural backgrounds) still want to marry at their respective religious institutions for familial (or, again, cultural) reasons. That’s something I can sympathise with but I can also at least empathise with the church/mosque figures who refuse to marry them off.

I think your opinions about spirituality and how deeply-rooted it can be as far as familial works go (including marriage) is very Western-oriented so I don’t blame you for adopting that kind of approach. But know that your experiences aren’t the same as that of a lesbian Nigerian-Brit. who faces ostracisation from her community (more than you’d ever know) but is still brave enough to stand up for what she wants anyway. Or a gay Muslim lad who’d face deportation and rank abuse for coming out but still has respect for his religion. Those are things you can’t even begin to appreciate when you’re sat behind your screen presenting a holier-than-thou stance and obviously don’t have much real experience dealing with conflicted LGBT millennials from non-Western indigenous cultures.

Glenn. 19-10-2021 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by parmnion (Post 11104779)
You ain't allowed thoughts on this subject on TIBB.

You mean your homophobic remarks aren’t allowed

Glenn. 19-10-2021 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joeysteele (Post 11104792)
I think churches need to look at why in various accounts at least two thirds of marriages are now in registry offices NOT their churches.

Their houses seem to be in great disorder.

Gay marriage is legal in the UK.
Personally I'd doubt a high percentage of those wishing to marry, who are gay, would want to marry in a religious setting.

However, if religions use their church settings to discriminate against a legal union between individuals.
Then those religions will lose even more influence of the little they have now, particularly as to Christianity.

I voted the second option however I do feel in time, unless the attitude changes, churches will lose more and more of its congregations yet.
Deservedly so.

:clap1:

hijaxers 19-10-2021 06:31 PM

My daughter is marrying her partner Maddie next year, excellent news we are very happy for them.

Livia 19-10-2021 06:46 PM

All the Abrahamic religions are of the mind that marriage is between a man and a woman. I don't see why people should alter their religious beliefs unless all religions are required to do the same. Some Christians may eventually agree, I'm not sure Catholics would and I'm pretty sure Jews and Muslims would never accept it. I couldn't marry in a synagogue because my OH wasn't a Jew, I can't imagine what they'd have said if he had been a woman. All that said, I was best woman at my friend's same sex wedding and they are one of the happiest married couples I know. So in conclusion, I am 100% for gay people being allowed to marry the people they love. I don't think religions will ever accept it nor do I think they should be made to.

thesheriff443 19-10-2021 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hijaxers (Post 11104867)
My daughter is marrying her partner Maddie next year, excellent news we are very happy for them.

Congratulations

Livia 19-10-2021 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hijaxers (Post 11104867)
My daughter is marrying her partner Maddie next year, excellent news we are very happy for them.

Lovely news x

LeatherTrumpet 19-10-2021 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hijaxers (Post 11104867)
My daughter is marrying her partner Maddie next year, excellent news we are very happy for them.

Get the news in early its a paying bar

:joker:

hijaxers 19-10-2021 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443 (Post 11104872)
Congratulations

Thankyou Sheriff .

Cherie 19-10-2021 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hijaxers (Post 11104867)
My daughter is marrying her partner Maddie next year, excellent news we are very happy for them.

Lovely news x

thesheriff443 19-10-2021 07:02 PM

I have two good friends and both have a son and daughter and they are all gay has anyone else have any friends were more than one of their children are gay ?

As to gay marriage I’m all for it.

hijaxers 19-10-2021 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 11104873)
Lovely news x

Yes it is everyone's happy , especially as Maddie's surrogacy went well giving Richard and Alex the child they've longed for .

LeatherTrumpet 19-10-2021 07:10 PM

Personally, I would not marry a woman who is gay but i can see the attraction as the whole sex thing is a minefield and frankly i am happier watching Netflix tbh

Cherie 19-10-2021 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hijaxers (Post 11104888)
Yes it is everyone's happy , especially as Maddie's surrogacy went well giving Richard and Alex the child they've longed for .

That was such a lovely joyful programme to watch

hijaxers 19-10-2021 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 11104890)
That was such a lovely joyful programme to watch

Oh Cherie its proved so worthwhile Maddies 2 boys were begging them to get married and they are all so happy it is really joyous.

smudgie 19-10-2021 07:51 PM

Church weddings...meh.
It depends on what you want I suppose, gay or not.:shrug:

LaLaLand 19-10-2021 07:57 PM

It shouldn’t even be an issue this day in age.

There’s so much doom and gloom and horrific stuff going on every day in this world (religion included) that two people wanting to celebrate their love together, regardless of gender, and be happy should be celebrated.

Same goes for gay adoption, which is still unnecessarily taboo.

parmnion 19-10-2021 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redway (Post 11104794)
A lot of gay people (you’d see what I mean if you’d been a bit more exposed to people from different cultural backgrounds) still want to marry at their respective religious institutions for familial (or, again, cultural) reasons. That’s something I can sympathise with but I can also at least empathise with the church/mosque figures who refuse to marry them off.

I think your opinions about spirituality and how deeply-rooted it can be as far as familial works go (including marriage) is very Western-oriented so I don’t blame you for adopting that kind of approach. But know that your experiences aren’t the same as that of a lesbian Nigerian-Brit. who faces ostracisation from her community (more than you’d ever know) but is still brave enough to stand up for what she wants anyway. Or a gay Muslim lad who’d face deportation and rank abuse for coming out but still has respect for his religion. Those are things you can’t even begin to appreciate when you’re sat behind your screen presenting a holier-than-thou stance and obviously don’t have much real experience dealing with conflicted LGBT millennials from non-Western indigenous cultures.



This is where the real struggle lays in 2021 for the lgbtq.

Redway 19-10-2021 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaLaLand (Post 11104899)
It shouldn’t even be an issue this day in age.

There’s so much doom and gloom and horrific stuff going on every day in this world (religion included) that two people wanting to celebrate their love together, regardless of gender, and be happy should be celebrated.

Same goes for gay adoption, which is still unnecessarily taboo.

That idyllic world of acceptance doesn’t exist in many religious institutions though and it’s understandable.

parmnion 19-10-2021 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redway (Post 11104922)
That idyllic world of acceptance doesn’t exist in many religious institutions though and it’s understandable.

You mean homes really, not religious institutes.:blush:

hijaxers 19-10-2021 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by parmnion (Post 11104924)
You mean homes really, not religious institutes.:blush:

I totally get where you are coming from, all we can do is move forward and hope more people become more understanding and find a way to move themselves forward.

Toy Soldier 20-10-2021 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443 (Post 11104884)
I have two good friends and both have a son and daughter and they are all gay has anyone else have any friends were more than one of their children are gay ?

As to gay marriage I’m all for it.


I’m not old enough to have friends with adult kids quite yet (in fact most of my friends with kids are still in the toddler/little kid phase whereas mine are 12 and 9) however, one of my best friends is gay, told his family at 18, then 5 years later out of the blue his older brother rocked up to a family gathering with a boyfriend. They’re now both married (to men).

Toy Soldier 20-10-2021 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redway (Post 11104794)
A lot of gay people (you’d see what I mean if you’d been a bit more exposed to people from different cultural backgrounds) still want to marry at their respective religious institutions for familial (or, again, cultural) reasons. That’s something I can sympathise with but I can also at least empathise with the church/mosque figures who refuse to marry them off.

I think your opinions about spirituality and how deeply-rooted it can be as far as familial works go (including marriage) is very Western-oriented so I don’t blame you for adopting that kind of approach. But know that your experiences aren’t the same as that of a lesbian Nigerian-Brit. who faces ostracisation from her community (more than you’d ever know) but is still brave enough to stand up for what she wants anyway. Or a gay Muslim lad who’d face deportation and rank abuse for coming out but still has respect for his religion. Those are things you can’t even begin to appreciate when you’re sat behind your screen presenting a holier-than-thou stance and obviously don’t have much real experience dealing with conflicted LGBT millennials from non-Western indigenous cultures.


I understand that and actually I think you’re underestimating how low the acceptance in in many Christian church communities in the UK - and definitely the US. I think in the UK they’re less vocal about it, I had a “parent friend” (the friends you have while your kids are little and don’t keep in contact with after that) who was heavily involved in the church (evangelical, I think) and from everything I knew about her I’d have assumed her views on homosexuality were moderate. Until the conversation actually came up - and she declared that while she’d be friends with gay people, she would have to tell them they’re not going to heaven, and that they should “stop”. Also that she’d be “utterly devastated” if one of her kids was gay. I’ve since realised it’s a very common attitude in British churches, it’s just not announced as loudly.

And my hypothetical was in a world where I’m a mystical overlord who can shape reality at will, and that I’d ideally remove religion from all equations entirely… it’s not intended to be a pragmatic suggestion for the real world.

parmnion 20-10-2021 08:56 AM

In my home town, the only gay in the village plays the organ every sunday at our local protestant church.

bitontheslide 20-10-2021 08:57 AM

i think as long as people have a legal path to get the marital status they want, then the availability in each religious institution is a different thing all together. People can't get married in the catholic church for a multitude of reasons even although they are legally entitled, it's not confined to same sex or anything else

What I can't reconcile is wanting to be part of a religious institution that discriminates for whatever reason specifically against "you" I just wouldn't want to be associated with it if it were me

Vicky. 20-10-2021 10:08 AM

Should always be 'allowed' and always should have been, its mental to me that it was not. But I am not comfortable with forcing religious institutions to do it if they disagree. But I dont really understand why they would disagree. Yet, I am not religious so maybe wouldnt understand.

Fencesitting on the whole thing. Really. Aslong as there are many places that do do it..I dont see why we should force all to do it. Yet cannot understand the refusals personally. Thats complicated as **** really.

Niamh. 20-10-2021 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky. (Post 11105051)
Should always be 'allowed' and always should have been, its mental to me that it was not. But I am not comfortable with forcing religious institutions to do it if they disagree. But I dont really understand why they would disagree. Yet, I am not religious so maybe wouldnt understand.

Fencesitting on the whole thing. Really.

Yeah I agree with TS opinions on it really about organised religions in general but yeah they discriminate for many reasons, for example you can't get married in a Catholic Church if you're divorced

Redway 20-10-2021 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by parmnion (Post 11104924)
You mean homes really, not religious institutes.:blush:

I mean both.

Redway 20-10-2021 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier (Post 11105013)
I understand that and actually I think you’re underestimating how low the acceptance in in many Christian church communities in the UK - and definitely the US. I think in the UK they’re less vocal about it, I had a “parent friend” (the friends you have while your kids are little and don’t keep in contact with after that) who was heavily involved in the church (evangelical, I think) and from everything I knew about her I’d have assumed her views on homosexuality were moderate. Until the conversation actually came up - and she declared that while she’d be friends with gay people, she would have to tell them they’re not going to heaven, and that they should “stop”. Also that she’d be “utterly devastated” if one of her kids was gay. I’ve since realised it’s a very common attitude in British churches, it’s just not announced as loudly.

And my hypothetical was in a world where I’m a mystical overlord who can shape reality at will, and that I’d ideally remove religion from all equations entirely… it’s not intended to be a pragmatic suggestion for the real world.

Trust me, I’m well aware that many (if not most) U.K. churches are against gay marriage. The thing is I wasn’t talking about just English churches.

Toy Soldier 20-10-2021 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redway (Post 11105178)
Trust me, I’m well aware that many (if not most) U.K. churches are against gay marriage. The thing is I wasn’t talking about just English churches.


That doesn’t really matter if we’re talking about snapping all organised religion out of existence? Again, I’m not saying this is something that can actually happen, just a hypothetical.

Redway 20-10-2021 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier (Post 11105188)
That doesn’t really matter if we’re talking about snapping all organised religion out of existence? Again, I’m not saying this is something that can actually happen, just a hypothetical.

And I’m saying that traditional world religions (you might want to look up Buddhism and ATR) that aren’t generally associated with the West aren’t intrinsically homophobic. They aren’t now and never were, not in their pure form. Should those religions be wiped out as well?

Glenn. 21-10-2021 03:50 PM

The world would be a greater place without religion. I’ll agree that not all religions are discriminative and have idiotic followers who use their religion as a guise for their ignorant views but it should not have the power it has.


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