Parents splitting
 

I've just been told that my parents are splitting up.
I don't know what to do. I've just been crying for over an hour now, and my Mum has gone. They are on good terms, and don't hate eachother, I think the 'spark has just gone'

But I dont know what to do, I made this thread because I want to know how other people in the same situation coped. Its just me, my dad and my sister, and my sisters off to Uni this month.

I don't know whether to feel sympathetic, or whatever.

I always find it hard to show my true emotions anyway, so yeah..

I was told the same thing a few weeks back. It's hard to deal with, but I realise that they've both come to certain stages in their life where they want different things and I believe that them leading seperate lives will make them both happier.

Since they told me, they seem to have got on really well - a lot better than beforehand, anyway.

Are you staying in the custody of your dad?

Must be really hard but just think you'll get to see them both as often as now probably, it would have been worse to be in a house where they argued a lot or didn't enjoy living with one another.

I'm afraid only time can heal this.

:hug:

When I was younger my parents were divorced (they got remarried, long story!) and although it was hard when I first found out - it was easier with time.

Awww honey, it must be a very confusing time for you all. This must have come as a shock

The best way to cope with the way you are feeling is to take time, dont blame anyone just try and understand them. It must also be difficult for your parents too.

I was lucky, my parents split when I was only 5 so I dont really remember it.

Just remember we are all here if you need us :hug:

Awww Chris I'm sorry for you, it would be terrible. I can't say I understand because my parents didn't split but we are all here if you need some help.
If you don't feel to join the show tonight, leave it there is no problem, I understand. :thumbs:

Thanks guys. Remy, Ill think about the show. Ill see how im feeling at 8. I might have cheered up.

Lauren, I think they have told us that we can choose who we want to stay with. My Mum told me to stay here as it has my friends etc.

You're welcome, it's normal to help friends when they are in a difficult case. :thumbs:

my parents split a few years back but after the shock you begin to feel better and things WILL get better.

I've never experienced parents separating and divorcing first hand, but it's happened to a few of my friends and cousins. I've known people to be badly affected by family breakup and hope you're not one of them.

=[ That's really, really crap, Chris! If I were you, I'd try and focus on other things, I think you should proceed with the show tonight, it'll keep you distracted! :thumbs: Oh well, at least your parents are on good terms with each other, and it's not like either of them are abandoning you, you'll have regular contact! Try and look at the positives! It's making your parents happier, being apart, and eventually you'll be fine with it! =)

so sorry in the long term it will probably work out my parents arent divorced but fight an awful lot and its annoying

Hope everything works out well soon, Chris. My parents separated a couple of years ago and it was a little difficult, but it's much better now that they're happy apart rather than arguing together.

Sorry to hear your news Chrizzle - it must be difficult for you.

Take care of yourself
x

Thanks Ruth, and eveyone else!

Its getting easier, but I do keep having little cries. Its hard not to to be honest, but im just getting people to cheer me up on MSN and its working.

:bigsmile:

awww im sorry to hear that chris i dunno what to say because ive never experienced it but my best friend parents split up but they are on good terms now i dunno what to say sorry

my mum and dad split up a few months ago... and it wasnt on good terms either which made it even worse! and my mum left and it was all tearful and i was really distraught and i didnt eat that night.. it was really horrible! but the next day we was out and then the day after she came back and they were sorting things out but i think they might be planning to split up in the next year but there okay with each other now... :)

Youll be okay ..

Aww i'm sorry to hear this, i have never experenced this so i don't know what to say other than sorry
xxx

Hey ,im sorry to hear that your feeling sad atm,its understandable though and im sure everyone on tibb i here for you if you ever need a chat:kiss:
Ive never actually been through this but when i was little my dad wasnt around alot although he was still married to my mam and lived in our house,he just never took any interest in me or my siblings anyway when i was 11 my mam found out that my dad had been having an afiar with another woman for three years and she was pregnant.They argued obviously and things were chaotic at home,but they went to marriage guidence and the woman he had an affair with had an abortion so they`ve never actually split up.I can sympathise with you a little though becuase of what happened in my childhood and basically id just say,time helps,in a way your lucky becuase your parents are still on good terms and they seem to have your best interests at heart so arguments will be kept to a minimum if at all.Things will be tough for you at first but your parents will be sympathetic to this and even though you say your sisters moving away to uni this happening could actually bring you both alot closer together.
I hope your feeling happier soon and remembr its normal to feel this way right now don be ashamed to talk to people,your parents,sister-it will probably help a great deal:love:

Thanks so much people

Ruth- I u2ud you back but it wouldnt send, not sure why.
Just said that your u2u was so nice thank you :)

aww
you just have to look for the good things that will come out of it

my mum and dad wasnt together when i was born so they never told me the will splitt up lol

Oh Chris I have just found this thread and I feel for you.

I'm sure things will get better once the shock is over.

Good luck Mate.

Sorry to hear that Chris. I wish I had some advice for you.

And you don't even have BB to cheer you up either. :sad: :tongue:

Yeah im sorry too

Sorry to hear about your bad news Chris. Some good will come out of it, even if you can't see it now. I expect your parents will get on better when they are apart. I'm glad to hear that they are still on speaking terms, that must make things a little easier. I expect that you'll get to see your Mum and Dad whenever you like. Hopefully things will get better for you soon.

chrizzle. if you want to talk please u2u me. it has happened to me before a few years ago. i am 13. so if you wanna chat you can always pm me. sorry to hear about this though. but to me it makes you stronger. you will get good out of it though as well. wait and see :D

Hey Chris - hows it going today? Parents splitting is never easy, it is a really confusing time for everyone involved especially you and your sister.

All I can really say is give it time, time is a wonderful thing in terms of how you feel, how things turn out etc.. I know that might sound pretty lame but it's the truth.

You will be upset about this, its normal and ok for you to be upset, dont hold back, ask any questions that you might have, speak to both of your parents and get them to help you understand and accept this sad situation.

Remember you are not alone, you still have 2 parents that love you even though they are not together anymore, you have a sister and friends who care about you and you have us guys to offer you an e-shoulder when you need it.

Take care honey and if you want to talk U2U me xxx

How are you feeling today?

Sunny has spoken much of what I would have said if I'm honest but she knows you and I don't so can add a more personal touch. Just want you to know even though I don't know you I'm still thinking about you and I'm here.

My parents never split for good but when I was 14 my dad left for 24 hours and it was the most sureal 24 hours of my life. He actually slept in the back of a truck up where he worked and came home the following morning. He didn't come in the house, instead he continued to build the wall outside our front garden like nothing had happened?

Because I thought 'That was it!' My parents were finished for those 24 hours, I had so many emotions running through my head but shock must have been the big one. You need time to get used to what is going and only time and the support of your family and friends will get you through this.

You're a popular lad here, you will get a lot of support. Take care.

i am sorry to hear that.

My mum and dad spilt and i think its the best way least you no then that they are not staying together just for the kids.
I would of been worse if they stayed together as they probally would not of been happy

Chris this is a really hard situation and the same happened to my best friend.

Now, two years on, she says she got through it with the support of other loved ones. She also saw a counsellor and I know this might scare you a bit as a common miscomception is that people that get counselling are 'mental' which is a load of rubbish.

Stay strong and I know you will get through this :hug:

Thanks for the advice and stories guys.

Today was looking better in the morning my Mum text to ask to come back, but it seemed it wasn't what anyone wanted, they had a chat together.

I had tea just me and my dad, and i know it sounds, as the twins would say, cheese mcsqueezy, but its just really sad, and hard to get used to.

I am always sorry to hear stories about Parents splitting up. It is never easy and Chrizzle - it is not definite that things may stay that way!! parents can split and then get back together in time to come. My parents split for two months once. A massive argument which happened while I was at School - I came home and found that my dad had left and gone to his mum and dad in Doncaster - where they live. But after a month, they started talking over the phone and after about 6 weeks, he came back for a couple of days - left again and then came back permanently. Ever since then - no problems, [touch wood]

I hope you are lucky like I was and it is only a tempory situation. However bad an argument can get - things can get better, if both make it that way! Perhaps you can do something to mend things?

Good luck with it all Chris. Must be a very difficult time for you.

Hi Chris, just wanted you to know that I am still thinking about you.

Sitting down to meals and stuff that you usually do as a family will be hard at first but you will get a new kind of normal and routine over time. It is still very early days and you never know what is around the corner. Me and my hubby have split up before and it is awful but given the time to calm down and talk we have been able to work things out.

Hope you keeping your chin up though xxx

aww Chris its sad to hear that I hope everything turns out how it should bless you friend :flowers:

Chris, I know this is weird, but my parents split it up last night. I didn't wanna say anything because it was just after yours. I didn't know what to do.

But they had a chat this morning and they 'got back' together.

aww Markchap that is brill news mate :hello:

Awww yay Mark!

I'm really sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. :sad:
Always remember though, both of your parents love you as much as they did before. That, at least, should never change.

Although things are difficult now, you're lucky in the sense that you're older and more mature, so you will probably be able to handle it much better. I understand that it must have come as a huge shock, but at the same time even you will be following in the footsteps of your sister and will be leaving home soon. That's why you need to remain strong for both of your parents, and let them see how you're coping.

If anything, now that things are difficult between them, they may be finding it easier to cope and express things themselves.
It's a much healthier environment now, I'd have thought, rather than them being in the house together with a tense atmosphere or them constantly arguing.

You can always U2U me whilst my Internet plays up, and when you can let us know how you're getting on. Good luck. :hug: xxx

EDIT: Good to hear that Mark.

Awwww Dont Worey Chris

If they dont hate eatch other thats Great because my dad hates my mum and dosent care about me my sis or my mum but you will get thro it like me!

Go & Give ur sis a BIG Sloppy hug lol

:hug:

Just try to concentrate on other things. I have experinced it and the little things WILL get you like holidays. But it will pass. And you realise that you will be much happier living in friendly atmosphere rather than funiture getting thrown across the room.:laugh3: It will gte better :bigsmile: