What will Bea\'s letter from home say ?
 

Loving this thread on DS

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/s....php?t=1102538

This thread is so hilarious. :hugesmile:

:hello::dance2::colour:

Some of my favourites:

1).....Big Brother - " Bea, on the diary room chair is your letter from home".

Bea - (open's envelope) "Big Brother, the envelope's empty!"

Big Brother - "Bea, after several attempt's, Big Brother was unable to get in contact with your friend's and family. The diary room door is now open"

2)...Dear Bea,
All of us at the asylum think you are doing so well. You've made lots of friends and haven't been crapping in people's beds like you do here. We're so glad to see that electric shock therapy has paid off.
Yours Colonel Sausage and his Blue Tit friends

Dear Bea
Remember how we used to get you to watch Rosemary's Baby......

That made me laugh

"That's another job you've *****ed up then, dear!" :laugh:

Dear Bea,
You are a vile nasty cow and we want nothing ever to do with you again.
We hope and pray that when you read this you will burst into your 'fake' tears.
Lots of hate from 4 million people,
Your ex-mum and dad.
P.S Get a fucking face transplant you ugly bitch.

I think she is very spoiled, so they will tell her that they are very proud of her and that she is allways right and will give her strengh to cope to live with all the bullies in the house

A letter from Lost Property telling her that if she throws her toys out of her pram one more time... they will cease to be writing to inform her of their whereabouts

Dear Bea,

All that money we spent on your expensive education! Imagine our disappointment when, even after etiquette classes, you advised that poor young Brazilian man to address the Queen as Ma'am as in farm... when everyone of our social standing knows it's Ma'am as in ham. We are disgraced. Never darken our doorway again.

Mummy and Daddy.

Or a video from HRH Price Phillip in which he states "Rumours of my death are much exaggerated"

It wont be a letter it will be her passport - she's already got her suitcase job done!

Bear Miss Hamill,

We have been meaning to tell you for a number of years, and feel its now time.

You were adopted, now p1ss off and leave us alone you sponging ginger tw@

Mumsy and steppy daddy

Dear Bea,

Bye bye.

Mum and Dad.

I liked

'Meow... I am feeling really really negative, in fact your negativity is /has made me scratch the furniture, it's not my fault it's you ..

love

the cat'

haha :thumbs2::laugh:

haha :thumbs:

I think that her parents have coddled and praised her even when she is wrong which is why she is so messed up now. The letter will probably be full of praise for her "strength." I really don't know when strong woman started meaning the same thing as screaming fishwife.

Dear Bea
Unfortunately was just pipped to the post for Mother of the Year award by Adolf's mummy - am really disappointed you didnt try harder dear, how very negative of you, however on the bright side am sure I can turn this against Adolfs mum and make her suffer and suffer and suffer............
love
Mumsy

Dear Bea after much consideration we've realised it was you who was the evil twin and have allowed Gretchen to move back in.

Maybe a message repeatedly reminding her:

"It rubs the lotion on it's skin"

she might not get a letter lol

Dear Beatle (real name)

We have found a small flat here in Kabul and will not be returning to the UK. The local Taliban have been so supportive. Please do not try and find us or we will pop in IED in yo ass.

Love Mum and Mum

P.S.

Yours ,

Buffalo Bill

To Bea
Due to cutbacks at the Taliban we have substituted the Ricin within this letter to Itching Powder.
Thank you for your ongoing reign of evil and maybe one day you could do some recruiting for us.
Love ya later,
O. Bin Laden xxx