Marcus..
 

Marcus has no 'Ctrl' button on his keyboard because he is always in control

(sorry, i had to use a Chuck norris joke at some point :P)

marcus was born in a shed which he built with his own 2 hands!

marcus is sue-ing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you

and stuff like that

:joker:

Marcus does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Marcus.

Marcus CAN believe its not butter :shocked:

here are a load of chuck norris jokes. do with them what you please marcus fans lol:spin2:

1.Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

2.Chuck Norris calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

3.Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.

4.Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

5.Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was
replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

6.Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

7.When Chuck Norris does press ups, he moves the earth.

8.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

9.Chuck Norris can speak braille.

10.Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

11.Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and the butler from cludo.

12.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

13.Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

14.Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

15.Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

16.On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

17.Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

18.Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pyjamas.

19.Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

20.Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

21.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

22.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

23.Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

24.Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

25.Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

26.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

27.Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

28.Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

29.Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

30.Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

31.Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

32.Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in Europe in order to legally wear pants.

33.Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

34.Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

35.Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

36.Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.

37.Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the
man ate a ****ing Jeep.

38.Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

39.It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

40.Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

41.WhenChuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

42.Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

43.Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

44.Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.

45.David Beckham can kick a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can kick David Beckham even further.

46.Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

47.Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

48.Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

49.A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

50.Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

51.Chuck Norris casts no shadow. Not even a shadow is stupid enough to follow Chuck Norris around all day.

52.When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

53.Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends".

54.Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

55.Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

56.Chuck Norris finished the never ending story.

57.Theres no theory of evolution, just the animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

58.Chuck Norris once punched an askit so hard i got a head ache.

59.in 1967 Big foot challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, no ones seen bigfoot since.

i enjoyed that

Marcus is seriously considering a campaign to take over God

Gotham City's bat-signal is actually intended for Marcus.

I love these lol!! there is a website dedicated to those :P

I never cease to laugh at them lol :)