Help me please :S
 

I'm having trouble writing a work experience letter. I have written this.. does it sound okay?



Dear Mr Jelbert,
My name is I am currently in Year 10 at ****** College. I am writing to you to ask if you have any work experience placements for the week July 5th 2010 - July 10th 2010.

It would be a great experience to help in teaching and aiding the students in the learning process at your school. I would like to do work experience at your school because I am considering going into teaching after I have left education and the experience of working in a school would give me an idea of what qualities are required to become a teacher and how the system works. As a former student at ******* CP school I would be a good candidate for your school for work experience as I have a lot of background knowledge of your school and I am familiar with many of your employee’s.

I think I would be suitable for the placement as I am a very responsible and hard working, putting a lot of effort into everything I do. I think my experience at the school would be a great benefit to me and my aspirations to teach. After secondary school I am hoping to go on to study English literature, psychology, mathematics and English Language and would love a career that involves English, specifically teaching or journalism. By doing work experience in a school I would take away a lot of valuable experience and the placement would let me find out what teaching is like and whether I would like to have a career in education in the future.

Thank you very much for taking time out to read this letter and I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely
Lewis






What do you think? Especially those who have already done their work experience?

That sounds fine.

But employees does not have ' in it...just so you know ;)

This part doesn't work. The man already knows your name so it's pointless. And you never start a cover letter with 'My name is' or 'I am'.

I remember my cover letter for my work placement in England, I started like:

'Currently in Year ** at ****** College in Marseille, France; I am considering your company for a work placement from ********* to *********.'

It sounds much better. :hugesmile:

As Remy says opening bit doesn't work. Drop 'My name is Lewis Treleaven, I am currently in Year 10 at ****** College.', it makes you sound about 10. Start your letter with something like

Dear [persons name],
I currently attend [college name] and am writing to ask if there are any available work experience placements for the week July 5th 2010 - July 10th 2010.

It doesn't seem as polite but it reads better

Thanks for the advice and the correction Vicky :) I have changed it to what Tom wrote! Thanks :)