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Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:17 AM

Zombie Attack!!
 
http://fabakis.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/zombies.jpg

OH MY GOD! I have just seen on the news that the world is being overun by Zombies. Its happening people – as such what are you plans??

Mine are simple, I'd go downstairs and clear everything and anything that would be of use, and take it all upstairs when I would cram as much in as I could, providing if I knew the garden was safe I would run out and over turn a plant pot or two, emptying said plants and drag them up the stairs as well. Stripping all and anything that would be use and get it all upstairs, i'd raid the fridges and freezers for any supplies and empty and fill all containers I could with water, any food stuff is upstairs, whatever furniture etc ccouldn't be moved would be smashed up and to barricade any entrances other bits for fire wood. All things flammable would be dumped in garden, Im going to block myself in, dont want to burn to death as well, im sure zombies can't build fires, but they might knock a flame over (or I just make sure as not to leave a lit candle about). I would then take all internal doors off the hinges and cover the stairs, so as to block any way in. I would then start work on smashing a hole through the wall of the bedroom into the bathroom so I could still use them both without actually leaving either of the two rooms (hallway) and then, repeating the same process downstairs as upstairs, I would then get comfy, watch the news and cook some hearty grub in my makeshift ovens out of burning furniture in my nice oven made from a plant pot (did you wonder why I'd get that). Checking on my defences often, and pleased at the amount of crap I can stuff in my new studio apartment.

I would then last out the zombie attack and wait for the nice men to come and save me.

I would then have fun looting.

arsenalforever 10-11-2009 10:40 AM

i would go Shaun of the dead on their Arse with a cricket bat and save some babes:joker:

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arsenalforever (Post 2665979)
i would go Shaun of the dead on their Arse with a cricket bat and save some babes:joker:

Are you mad (I mean I know you support Arsenal but still)? I saw that documentary you mentioned, the survival rate was low, unless of course you were in the other better group they passed in the alley.

I would not dare go out in public, until I needed some rizla or tobacco.

Lee. 10-11-2009 04:21 PM

Firstly, I would go all "Home Alone" on them and booby trap my house and garden to make entry as tricky as possible, including running high amounts of electricity to all exterior door handles...

Then I would move everything in the house (that would fit through hatch) into the attic including all food and drink and a hammer.. I would then climb into attic myself, ensuring that I pulled the step ladder up with me and get comfy whilst I awaited attack.. For food, I would microwave soup/beans/peas/sweetcorn.

If said zombies were to get past my clever booby traps, I would see them coming through hatch and simply throw everything I had taken up with me at them from a height.. Obviously I would begin with heavy items of furntire but if they kept coming even after I had dropped everything, I would use my hammer to hammer them as they tried to reach hatch...

I've just realised I'm not so sure if I have plug sockets in my attic, so my microwave plan may have to be ditched.. I would still take it mind you as it is quite heavy and I am sure would do a lot of damage..

Tom4784 10-11-2009 04:23 PM

I'd grab all the food and supplies in my house and hide up in the attic until it all blew over.

Dr.Gonzo 10-11-2009 06:46 PM

Rollerblades and sumurai swords is the way to win this war.

Enid 10-11-2009 06:48 PM

Awesome picture.

My strategy is simple. Death is inevitable, so I would let them disembowel me then come after you.

Dr.Gonzo 10-11-2009 06:56 PM

I would let you eat me, Enid :D

Enid 10-11-2009 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr.Gonzo (Post 2667650)
I would let you eat me, Enid :D

Well you live closer so I guess you would be my first target. :D

Sir_Diary_of_Roomus 10-11-2009 07:10 PM

Go get a push bike and bladed weapons, as well as a suit of chain mail and ride off to a huge open area with plenty of hills for vantage points. Defend position until the Winchester is deemed safe.

Anyone else own Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide/WWZ? :)

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:23 PM

Happyland and Dezzy, I too have given thought about the attic, but it wouldnt be very homely up there, and no mattress either, let alone a window to see when safety was coming, I would need to be able to watch to see if anything was happening outside, and to watch the tele, providing power wasnt cut (and why microwaves might become obsolete very quickly). Plus I know I can't get the TV up there as I tried to keep the box it came in but it would fit through the hatch.

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr.Gonzo (Post 2667584)
Rollerblades and sumurai swords is the way to win this war.

You have these items? being a Hunter fan I can believe you just might....

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enid (Post 2667599)
Awesome picture.

My strategy is simple. Death is inevitable, so I would let them disembowel me then come after you.


Thats a bad strategy you know, plus a helluva zombie stumble/walk to get to me (and you'd have to go through or around London, it might be fairly busy)

Either way you'd just be pacing about in my garden, I'd wave as I ate something from my garden pot stove.

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir_Diary_of_Roomus (Post 2667685)
Go get a push bike and bladed weapons, as well as a suit of chain mail and ride off to a huge open area with plenty of hills for vantage points. Defend position until the Winchester is deemed safe.

Anyone else own Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide/WWZ? :)

What would happen if you were forced off one hill, you'd cycle down, take a few out but then you'd be in the valley and have given up such a vantage point, seems crazy that soo many people would go outside instead of waiting for people with guns.

DrunkerThanMoses 10-11-2009 10:30 PM

Why dont zombies each other? Its not fair they rip alive people apart and eat their guts?

MiuMiu 10-11-2009 10:31 PM

Di anyone see "Zombieland"?
It was supposed to be epic!
And really funny too.
:)

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImDrunkerThenMoses (Post 2668414)
Why dont zombies each other? Its not fair they rip alive people apart and eat their guts?


maybe the guts need to be fresh, or better fresh, you know like with pasta.

either/or

wouldnt it be sort of cannabalism to eat their own (zombie) kind

and

if zombies are the undead, when Jesus was killed and came back, does that make him a zombie?

Lee. 10-11-2009 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Appearance_Of_A_Junky (Post 2668395)
Happyland and Dezzy, I too have given thought about the attic, but it wouldnt be very homely up there, and no mattress either, let alone a window to see when safety was coming, I would need to be able to watch to see if anything was happening outside, and to watch the tele, providing power wasnt cut (and why microwaves might become obsolete very quickly). Plus I know I can't get the TV up there as I tried to keep the box it came in but it would fit through the hatch.

Homely?? I won't bother about homely when the living dead come for me! Plus I don't really see the advantage of having a window.. you may be able to see them coming but they would be able to see you and the window is also another easy point of entry! Attic for me!

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyland (Post 2668423)
Homely?? I won't bother about homely when the living dead come for me! Plus I don't really see the advantage of having a window.. you may be able to see them coming but they would be able to see you and the window is also another easy point of entry! Attic for me!


Lol, Im one floor up though and its double glazing, plus I'd have the curtains shut (they normally are anyway, until recently that is, for some reason). So they wouldnt be able to attack.

What would you do about bodily functions though? (is that too personal) have I given this far too much thought?

I would need something with more than one exit as well, though I suppose I could crawl through into the neighbours house but they'd probably be zombied as they aren't the most street wise. (lol, nor am I, but they are much worse)

I would have everything below window level, I would wait to look out for planes and 'copters and the such like.

DrunkerThanMoses 10-11-2009 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Appearance_Of_A_Junky (Post 2668422)
maybe the guts need to be fresh, or better fresh, you know like with pasta.

either/or

wouldnt it be sort of cannabalism to eat their own (zombie) kind

and

if zombies are the undead, when Jesus was killed and came back, does that make him a zombie?

I suppose it will be cannabalism.

Jesus as a zombie would be cool, the main relgion in the world read their teachings from a zombie.

SOunds good for a a movie title.

Passion Of The Christ 2 : Zombie Jesus' Revenge!
Passion of the Christ 3 : Zombie Jesus Lives!

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MiuMiu (Post 2668419)
Di anyone see "Zombieland"?
It was supposed to be epic!
And really funny too.
:)

Not me.......but watching a film about them is hardly a plan. You'd be one of them in no time and then Dr Gonzo might skate past you and end you (before Enid eats him that is)

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImDrunkerThenMoses (Post 2668439)
I suppose it will be cannabalism.

Jesus as a zombie would be cool, the main relgion in the world read their teachings from a zombie.

SOunds good for a a movie title.

Passion Of The Christ 2 : Zombie Jesus' Revenge!
Passion of the Christ 3 : Zombie Jesus Lives!


and just for you a crossover film

ZOMBIE JESUS VS MOSES - let the battle commence

MiuMiu 10-11-2009 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Appearance_Of_A_Junky (Post 2668443)
Not me.......but watching a film about them is hardly a plan. You'd be one of them in no time and then Dr Gonzo might skate past you and end you (before Enid eats him that is)

Ya lol, that's true haha.

Can you just pretend your a Zombie?
I mean, theres a big crowd of Zombies walking down a street ok?
All wailing and moaning and dragging their feet.
Couldn't you just slip in there, maybe tear up your clothes a little, start maoning like a porn star and dragging one of your feet?

They'd hardly notice would they....? If you were a brilliant actor like. Meryl Streep all the way.....
:conf:

Lee. 10-11-2009 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Appearance_Of_A_Junky (Post 2668434)
Lol, Im one floor up though and its double glazing, plus I'd have the curtains shut (they normally are anyway, until recently that is, for some reason). So they wouldnt be able to attack.

What would you do about bodily functions though? (is that too personal) have I given this far too much thought?

I would need something with more than one exit as well, though I suppose I could crawl through into the neighbours house but they'd probably be zombied as they aren't the most street wise. (lol, nor am I, but they are much worse)

I would have everything below window level, I would wait to look out for planes and 'copters and the such like.

One floor up or not, I still think it is safer to be as high as possible. Have you considered possible attack from the actual attic? I think not...

Bodily functions, I have sorted. I would break a hole in attic floor down to bathroom and barricade bathroom door..

Appearance_Of_A_Junky 10-11-2009 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyland (Post 2668464)
One floor up or not, I still think it is safer to be as high as possible. Have you considered possible attack from the actual attic? I think not...

Bodily functions, I have sorted. I would break a hole in attic floor down to bathroom and barricade bathroom door..

Thankfully its hard enough now to get up into the attic, so thats not an issue about a zombie attack from that direction. It might get cold up there as well, especially if you are living on top of all the insulation, the house would be warm but you cold.....

I assume that you would also be making some form of ladder to go up and down to the bathroom rather than taking aim from a height? That could prove to be messy after a very short while....


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