Dead Tibb 3
Santa's Slay Ride

Prologue
Santa Claus is Coming to Town...


EA Sports It isn't in the story

Princess sat alone in her hilltop mansion, it had been a year and a half since the Tibb Town Zombie Apocalypse and despite the foreboding 'Apocalypse' in this sentence life in Tibb Town had returned to normal. The town had been rebuilt after the explosion and everyone who had died was magically brought back to life due to the sacrifice of a thousand virgins to the dark lord of Hell (it's Tibb, it wasn't hard to find that many). Apart from a few things life had returned to how it was before the incident.

Princess turned off her Take That tour DVD and looked outside her window, she could see the whole town from her new abode, snow was falling serenely upon the town. Princess looked at her watch and then towards the town again, It had just gone midnight and it was now officially Christmas Eve.

Her eyes were drawn to LemonJam's house, a man she once loved and had an illicit affair with that bore a child. Unable to cope with the baby, Princess sold it on the Black Market to Madonna (Laura you evil cow!). Upon discovering the affair LemonJam's wife Jen left him and Tibb Town and went to on to star in her own MTV Reality show with her second, third and eventually fourth husbands (Roger Federer, Brandon Flowers and.......Mark Waldorf? Mark you closet straight devil you!)

She looked over towards the Brotherhood Base and the newly rebuilt Zeta House and then towards the foreboding sight in the distance that was Tibb Towers which had served as the final terrifying backdrop to her involvement in the zombie incident. She reminded herself it was all over, the zombies were all gone. She was going to enjoy her wealth and have a great Christmas, she looked towards the sky and saw something that looked like a shooting star she made a wish and then went to bed.

Mark and James were in the Tibb Towers Command Centre. They looked gravely at a monitor which broadcast an image of that strange object in the sky.

'Do we know what it is yet?' Inquired James.

'No but I've got Sia working on clearing the image up' Said Rory.

Since the zombie incident the Mod Force had been keeping a close eye on any strange activity in the town, they didn't want to risk another outbreak or paranormal event. The object in the sky worried them, it wasn't a shooting star and it wasn't a comet or Meteorite....It was something else.

At that moment Sia had burst through the doors and bolted towards the Admin, she looked flustered and was holding a piece of paper in her hand.

'Did you manage to clear up the image?' Asked Mark.

'Yes and it's as we feared...' Said Sia Ominously.

'What? Aliens? Dragons? Predators? Micheal Jackson? What is it?'

Sia's lip quivered before she spoke.

'It's Santa.'

Chapter 1
Massacre on 34th Street


Doncha wish your Tibb Story was hot like mine?

It had just gone Midnight when the Shopping District roared into life, as it was the last day of Christmas shopping all the shops would be open throughout the night, Tibbers had descended upon the shops for some last minute shopping, none of them noticing the ominous object in the sky.

Ninastar, Brona and GypsyGoth were looking through the shops. GypsyGoth however was distracted, she had sensed danger in the air and really did not want to be walking around. She looked up to the sky and saw the glowing object, At first she mistook it for a shooting star but then it suddenly stopped in mid air.

'Compainions, look at this peculiar sight' called Gypsygoth. Ninastar and Brona stopped to look upwards.

'Wow what is it?' Asked Brona.

Suddenly smaller star like objects fly out of the object and scattered through the sky.

'So pretty' said Ninastar, GypsyGoth looked worried.

'Let's depart, the air is filled with foreboding.'

'NooooOooo! I wanna stay! It's just a firework!' cried out Ninastar. Brona laughed.

'You're hardly the best judge of these things, Didn't you think those zombies were giving out free hugs?'

'IT WAS AN EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE!'

GypsyGoth wasn't listening to their argument, the smaller objects were getting bigger....almost like they were....

'Oh my God, Companions! Make haste! The Celestial objects are descending upon us!' The objects began to crash into the district, laying waste to the picturesque scene. GypsyGoth grabbed hold of Brona and Ninastar and dived into the nearest alley out of the way of the bombardment. They watched as several more objects fell onto the streets. After a while it seemed to stop and the girls cautiously left their hiding place and walked towards one of the objects. They were red and...Christmas-y.

'What's going on!' cried out Brona. The strange objects began to open around them and the girls began to back away in fear, small creatures began to pile out of the objects.

'They're...They're......'

'ELVES!!!!!' Screamed Ninastar. The army of Elves charged towards the the Tibbers in the area. Chaos ensued as the all the Tibbers ran away from the bloodthirsty Elves, GypsyGoth was leading the way for Brona and Ninastar.

'Ahh!' Brona had tripped up, as she struggled to get to her feet she looked behind her to see the elf army advance. Was she doomed? BANG! CypsyGoth jumped in front of her and was swinging at the Elves with a broken street sign. As she got up GypsyGoth screamed at her to hide in the nearest shop with Ninastar and she happily obliged.

Realising she was outnumbered badly, GypsyGoth dropped her street sign and looked through her bag, she pulled out a long sword and smiled.

'Hello again old friend' She braced herself and then charged forwards towards the Elves....

Ninastar and Brona were hiding in an empty Cafe, they looked out the window and saw the carnage which made Brona sigh.

'All this chaos, death and destruction....You'd think we were in Glasgow.

Ninastar nodded in agreement when a loud bang echoed across the room, they looked outside to see a group of Elves hammering on the door. The girls screamed as they knew the door would not last, as the door began to break they heard a small rumble from above.

30Stone sat inside a Modforce helicopter, he looked at the carnage. James and Mark had sent out the entire Modforce to combat the new threat, Helicopters had flooded the sky while armored vehicles charged through the streets. They were flying over the shopping district when a chill ran down 30Stone's spine, his Spidey sense was on fire!

'THERE'S YOUNG GIRLS IN TROUBLE BELOW US!' He bellowed. He tied a chord around himself and threw the other end to VickyJ, he grabbed his guns and dived out the plane. Using his pistols he rained bullets down upon a group of elves trying to break into a Cafe. As he neared the ground he put away his guns and flipped gracefully onto the pavement. He then pulled out a shotgun and fired at the remaining Elves. A few shotgun shells later and he was victorious, as he reloaded his gun Ninastar and Brona ran out to thank him.

The chord had broken and the helicopter was long gone so 30Stone decided to escort Brona and Ninastar to safety, as they began to walk away, 30Stone kicked an Elf corpse out the way and sneered at the corpses.

'Looks like Christmas is canceled'

Chapter 2
Black Zeta


Yo Dead Tibb 3, I'm happy for you but Dead Tibb 2 is one of the greatest Tibb Stories of all time!

The members of the Black Zeta house were hosting their annual and exclusive Christmas Party which was so exclusive that they were the only ones in attendance because no one else on Tibb was fierce enough. There was much merriment abound, Shaun was entertaining everyone with his performance of a Destiny's Child Medley (ending with his LEGENDARY performance of Halo) while Gary was sitting in the corner, heavily drinking Margaritas.

There was a knock at the door which Dezzy answered, it was Zee and LemonJam.

'OHAI GUYS!' cried out a very drunk Ross who was swinging from the nearest chandelier in his boxers, he couldn't hold his drink bless his little welsh socks. Lili sighed at the sight.

'Ross if ye dinnae get down from the Chandelier, I'll shove my wee boot so far up ye arse you'll be chewin' on leather!' Shouted Lili.

LemonJam and Zee shuffled quietly into the main room as Lili prodded Ross down from the chandelier with a broomstick.

'Ah Dinnae Ken believe it, ye nearly scratched mah family heirloom ye little bam.' Dezzy helped Ross up the stairs to sober up while Lili rejoined the party. Shaun had just started his rendition of 'Get Sexy' when a loud scream was heard from above. The party members milled into the hallway where they saw a body tumble down the stairs....It was Dezzy and he was dead! Shaun screamed as they all looked towards the landing to see an evil elf brandishing a knife.

'That Elf killed Dezzy!'
'You Bastard!'
'Ye done it now ye little neap!' cried out Lili, she grabbed a fire poker and ran up the stairs. No one harms the kids in her care. Nobody saw the fight but they all felt a little bit sorry for the elf as the heard it all, the elf was definitely on the receiving end of Lili's Scottish rage.

A few minutes later she walked down the stairs carrying a passed out Ross, she was just about to talk when a loud voice echoed throughout the street.

'This is Sia, Please remain in your homes and lock all entrances and exits and block the Chimney. This is a Code Red emergency. For the love of God do not engage any of the Christmas invaders and do not leave any milk and cookies unattended!

A minute of silence passed before Lili spoke.

'I cannae do that, I'm so sick of the zombies and the elves. I say we go out and have ourselves a good auld Rammy!'

The group cheered, empowered by her words...although they wasn't really sure what she was saying.

'Shaun, go grab that big present of yours over there, we're gonna be needing it' Lili said. Shaun ran back into the living room and opened his present and squealed with delight when he realised what it was.

'Oh Lili, I've always wanted one of these!' He turned around to reveal his brand new shiny...Bazooka. Zee woke up Ross while the rest of the group scowered the house for weapons. A few minutes later and they were ready to leave. Lili kicked down the door and they charged out and then stopped, there were at least a hundred Elves baying for their blood. What could they do? Were they going to die? It's probably unlikely at this early stage of this story but who knows what will happen, the writer's a mad man I tell you! A MAD MAN!

LemonJam scanned the area and noticed something that would help them.

'Shaun! Aim for that incredibly fortunately placed Gas tank by the elves!' Shaun complied and the elves were soon nothing but burnt bloodstains on the ground. The group bolted down the street, eager to not run into any more trouble when they came across a lone armored vehicle, 30Stone popped his head out of the window'

'So you wanna fight? You best get in then, you won't make it on foot'

Chapter 3
Brotherhood of the Elf


The Following Chapter takes place between Chapter 2 and Chapter 4

'King Andyman! The town is suffering heavy damage from Santa's Army!' Informed Iceman.

They were inside the control room of the Brotherhood Base, Andyman was sitting upon his throne looking at the monitors which showed him images of destruction and battles between the Modforce and the Elf army. The Modforce were holding their own but the sheer number of Elves were beginning to overwhelm them. Andyman faced a choice, he could re-double his defenses here and keep his Brotherhood safe or he could mobilize the Brotherhood to help out the Modforce. He thought about it briefly and then he decided that he could not stand by and let Tibb die, he had Brotherhood members in the Force and he could not abandon them.

'Nate! Prepare the Brotherbikes and Brothertanks. Lauren! You're in charge of handing out weaponry. Iceman! Think of more vehicles we can put 'brother' in front of! WE ARE GOING TO WAR!'

Andy was in the main hall of the Brotherhood, he was barking orders to the lesser members while not doing anything himself. Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door and Andy began to feel a strange sense of Deja Vu... A nondescript Brotherhood member went to open the door.

'NO! Don't open that door!'

But it was too late....

'OMG guys, I'm never touring in Tibb again My tour bus broke down AGAIN and this time I got rushed by a bunch of midget fans it wasn't qt.' It was Twilight.

'Oh Joy.....You're still alive' Said Andy, he was losing the will to live once more. The preparations began once again. Twilight was talking but Andy wasn't listening, he was wondering whether he'd get away with throwing her to the elves and not managing not to 'save' her in time.

'It was so traumatic and I broke the heel on my Louboutin....'

He could bash his head into the counter a few times, he'd either die or cause himself such severe brain damage that he wouldn't know any better.

' I need a drink to calm my nerves, you there! Go make me some ice tea, Hold the Ice and tea but keep the vodka.'

Andy thought of happier times, Ah the zombie apocalypse....He only interacted with her in one chapter. Good times.

'What is the hold up!' Andyman's booming voice rang out throughout the hall. He laid eyes on Twilight and shivered. Twilight was the only weakness the Brotherhood had, She was a Squirtle to their Charmander, A webcam to their Conzors, Swine Flu to their Mexicans....okay that was a bit too far I'll stop now.

We could through her from the battlements.....No one will ever know, thought Andyman. He vanquished the though however, it was against his codes to harm a civilian. Even If it was Twilight.

'Oh Andyman ah you alright? You look a little constipated' Said Twilight.

'I am fine Lady Twitty, are the preparations nearly done General Andy?'

'Yes King Andyman for the sake of pacing we're suddenly ready to go'

'Good Good, Move everyone to the Brothervehicles. We leave now!'

'Ooooh a Road trip? I'm gonna come along for no particular reason!' Stated Twilight.

Andy grabbed her bottle of vodka and drank deeply.