Is it better to be loved or feared?
 

Whats your view?

Only inadequates with massive chips on their shoulders want to be feared!

But if you are a boss you need to be feared by your workers, and not be a pushover. Becuase if a worker keeps making mistakes, you need to punish them, not shower them with gifts and more money.

No you don't. What you are talking about is called autocratic/authoritarian management theory - which is often not very successful, only works with idiots who can't think for themselves. Democratic management which involves mutual respect is much more effective - especially when working with intelligent, skilled people!

I'd respond more to a manager that listens and cares than one who just wants to be bossy.

I think it depends on the personality really. I mean, I am a bit feared to be honest because I tend to be rather cold and strong when I meet new people or in business situations. It's just how I come across with my looks too and it's rather confusing somehow, people never know if I'm serious or not.
I'd rather be hated than people having sympathy for me. That being said, being loved is a different thing. It is better to be loved by your family and friends because there is no point of them to be scared of you although they know what to expect if they cross me big time.

So yeah, there is no "which is better" because it could be used in completely different contexts.

But if I had to choose I would like to be Loved... love is the best feeling in the world.

Being cold and unapproachable does not equate to strong! Quite the opposite really - communication is the key to success in any line of work, the higher up one goes, the more important it is. To communicate well, you need to be approachable - not cold and stand-offish. Approachable people with good communication skills who respect the views of others - are stronger psychologically - that is why they don't feel the need to prove themselves by controlling and dominating others.

"Nice guys finish last", a true saying that has been proved again and again.

Oh no that's not what I meant. :hugesmile: I was just saying I come across as someone quite intimidating and very strict and authoritarian but once you get to know me, I'm a teddy bear.
As for business situations, the more money you play with, the stronger you have to be, that's why sometimes you need to show you aren't that friendly to win a deal. However, being mean is not the key, nor being cold, backstabbing or acting superior. A good manager or a business man is someone who knows what they're talking about and who cares about their staff and understands people BUT is still being respected and shows where the boundaries are. It's a balance really.

What bull! Yes, silly young girls often go for the arrogant types, but they usually grow out of it - if that is what you're talking about, sounds like it!

But in business - those that show self-confidence, not arrogance - not the same thing - that have the qualities to manage and lead people by offering and gaining back mutual respect - are far more successful. These sort of people have the courage of their convictions and will stand up against the majority - when they believe the majority are wrong. They are led by their own values and principles - and not by being popular or feared. On the whole, people admire and respect that and respect and admiration beat fear any day.

I think some of you are getting 'fear' mixed up with 'respect'.

Why would anybody want to be feared?

Yes
Fom
Bang On Right
Choice.


Life In The City.

examples?

not
 

not always some people like nice guys but you hae to have a bit of bad guy in you other wise people walk all over you

loved, you can be a nice person but not a walk over, that is possible you know!

My manager is a bossy bitc...
And everyone at work doesnt like her..

No one has a great deal of respect for her, due to the fact she willnever compliment your work, i work hard every day, working there for almost 7 months now.. and not had one compliment about my work off her.

ummm
 

if yuor loved people use you to get what they want ! all the lads at my collage are like to the girls well the guys as well actually

There are many different types of people in the world, people who are loved and get walked all over, people who are loved but very strong and aware when people are taking the piss, people who are loved and use it walk all over other people, It isn't just a case of if your loved you're a push over, that's just a ridiculous generalisation, every person is different from the next, you can't just divide people into loved or feared categories and that's it.

um its kind of ture i gess i carnt top that

Sounds like all you care about is what guys think of you! There are many kinds of love - and what some superficial guys think is the least important of all of them!

i dont reallly care i dont think

I've done a lot of supervision and a bit of managing in the past and my current job includes a bit of supervision ... I find its much more effective if you're on the level of the people you work with, especially when it comes to offering advice on improvement.

It's better to be loved.

But to be loved means to be respected and you can be nice without being a pushover.