Jokes
 

Came across this while i was browsing the net...made me laugh anyway!



A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

:laugh::hugesmile::laugh::hugesmile:

Anyone got anymore jokes they would like to share?

Q) Why do seagulls fly across the sea?
A) Because if they flew across bays they'd be called bagels.:rolleyes:

I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs.

goth #1: I'm so goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.
goth #2: I'm so goth I don't have a pulse.

I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.

It must be the way you tell them, or the way my understanding of the English language reaches it's limit :hugesmile:

so if they were called bagels do you think we would eat seaguls. :conf: :joker:

ewww...id never eat seagulls lol they make to much noise and to much mess...mind you if we ate them they wouldn't be noisy really would they??

i think we might be more likely to live near the seaside though :thumbs:

cracking me up, thanks guys x

Q. What did the penis say to the condom?
A. Cover me im going in!

Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"


What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off

What do you call a fish with no eye ?
FSH !

What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

What is a dogs favourite school subject?
"Dog-Ruff-E "

Why are there no asprins in the jungle?
Because the Parots-ate-em-all

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.

Why do gerillas have big nostralls?
Coz they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
Lipstick


Lol i got them sent to me through chain emails on MSN.

hahaha very funny

Two Flies on a globe
and one says to the other
"i've been looking all over the world for you":sleep:

Two Flies on a loo wall
One got P***ed off:laugh:

thats my joke you nicked it :nono:

WON ANOTHER BET WITH MYSELF THERE

Behave you 2!:bigsmile:

:joker::joker: ive won more than one bet

ok two then:tongue:

haha

What d you call a naked pig ?

What?

Streaky bacon lol :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

which fish is musical ?

Lol:hello:

Why?

a piano tuna :hello::hello::hello:

Lol

Why did the chicken cross the road?