ThisisBigBrother.com - UK TV Forums - Shell campaigning against domestic abuse

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16 February 2006
I STILL BEAR SCARS OF SEEING MUM ABUSED
By Katrina Tweedie

MILLIONS watched Shell Jubin on Big Brother - one minute an extrovert, the next cowering in fear behind a closed door when the other contestants argued.

Both actions were a result of a childhood traumatised by domestic abuse as she tried to regain her confidence in front of the cameras despite old fears returning to haunt her.

The blonde beauty admits she was emotionally scarred for life after witnessing her father beat her mother when she was a child.

Shell's mother Ellie, 61, was left deaf after one particularly vicious attack.

Shell said: "My mum is partially deaf in one ear and completely deaf in the other, so she loses balance. She often can't hear us and it can be extremely frustrating for her not to be able to have a normal conversation with us. She's also very afraid of confrontation."

The 23-year-old model and student had only ever hinted at the distress suffered by herself, sister Kelsey, 20, and brother Ross, 19, before her parents split up when she was nine.

But raising awareness of the issue has prompted her to back the Scottish campaign to prevent domestic abuse.

She said: "There's nothing worse than seeing your mum black and blue. It affects children so much."

It took a great deal of courage for Ellie, who is now retired and lives in the Borders, to leave her husband.

"I was a daddy's girl," admits Shell. "My father was very successful and he wasn't a bad dad.

He loved us very much, but his behaviour made it impossible for him to be part of a family that functioned properly."

Shell has had no contact with her father since her parents split. The impact of abuse on children can vary, and Shell sought refuge in her schoolwork.

Shell said: "We were all withdrawn and I just buried myself into my schoolwork.

"We weren't unhappy children. We were lucky that our parents looked after us very well. But we were always careful not to provoke an argument."

Shell recalled how one night her dad attacked her mum so viciously, her mum had to call the police. Shell recalls: "They used to sleep in separate bedrooms and my mum was forced to sleep downstairs while we all had rooms upstairs. That denoted her status I suppose.

"My dad was on a business trip and came back early to find mum sleeping upstairs with us, so he ousted her from bed and got quite physical.

"It must have been terrible for mum to call the police, but when they arrived all they said was 'has everything calmed down now? Right we're off'."

Shell, who lives in Glasgow, is angry that people didn't take domestic abuse seriously until recently.

Ellie, who gave up her computer career to raise her children, faced profound difficulties when she decided to leave her husband.

Now she volunteers with the WRVS and feels overwhelming relief that her children have grown up remarkably unscathed by the drama.

Ellie said: "We often say well done to us. We've made it. All my children are happy and well, and I know I did the right thing by leaving."

Shell added: "We don't wish our dad any ill, but it is an incredibly important topic that affected our family.

"The more people talk about something, the less powerful it becomes."

dailyrecord.co.uk

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