Men are like
 

Men are like Floor Tiles. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

Men are like Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like Snow Storms. You never know when they are coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they will stay.

Men are like Used Cars. Both are easy to get, cheap and unreliable.

Men are like ATMs. Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Men are like Crystal. Some look really good, but you can still see right through them.

Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the sh*t out of you.


:joker::joker:

Sexist. :bored:

:nono:

women > men

WOMEN ARE LIKE......the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

WOMEN ARE LIKE.....computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

WOMEN ARE LIKE......Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.

WOMEN ARE LIKE......horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

WOMEN ARE LIKE......parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

WOMEN ARE LIKE......fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

WOMEN ARE LIKE......political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

WOMEN ARE LIKE......refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

WOMEN ARE LIKE......blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

WOMEN ARE LIKE......country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot


hehehe

Yours are rubbish Smithy.

I just googled "women are like"

I didn't read them I just copied and pasted assuming they were funny :bawling:

you suck smithy.

*would like to point out laxatives don't irritate sh!t out of you*

:amazed:

Men > women. :nono:

ew

Niall!! shut up!!!!

:laugh2:

:worship:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf1ketWspp1qbdnhg.gif

:joker:

Women are like..

In the kitchen making me a sandwich.

Try calling him ew. :amazed:

*Was about to use a Nicki Minaj gif but it would make me look stupid*

Just picture me saying "Hell to the no" k?

they look nice

thats it

A woman gets hit by a man driving a car, whose fault is it?



The man's; he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

How do you turn a washing machine into a snow plough?

Give the bitch a shovel.

I was out for a walk the other night when I heard a girl screaming & crying for help, "What's she doing out of the kitchen?" I thought.

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess... "Will you marry me?"

The Princess said "NO!"

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet... seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End

You clearly haven't had a decent male friend then. I have several.

Don't get me wrong, girls can be great too but its just the fact that I find men attractive aswell as having them for friends that makes me like them better.

My oldest friend is actually a girl. We have the same birthday and everything, she's like my twin. :shocked:

1. How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

2. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

3. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

4. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

5. How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven.

6. Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

7. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

8.What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

9. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "Always".

10. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.

11. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

12. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It is called Wedding Cake.

13. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

14. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

15. Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

16. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad: I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

17. A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

18. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

19. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

20. Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?
Bachelors go into the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator.

:mad: