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Texts from Last Night

I see this on the Graham Norton show tonight. A website where people upload texts they have sent or received whilst out drunk.

Here's the link

Upload the ones that tickle you.

for texts that are sent while drunk they are all spelt brilliantly

Quote:

and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

:joker:

Quote:

I'm ****ed up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.

Looks like something I would send when out :laugh:

Quote:

I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.

:laugh2:

Quote:

had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

:laugh3:

Quote:

my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...

:joker:

Quote:

She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.

(717):

I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...

:shocked:

:joker:

Quote:

I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

Quote:

(323):

You got in a fight last night?
(818):

Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
(323):

Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?