ThisisBigBrother.com - UK TV Forums - Lea's 'self-loathing'

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22 May 2006

EXCLUSIVE: BB LEA 'HATED BODY AND TRIED TO KILL HERSELF'

By Stephanie Busari

BUSTY Lea Walker was so repulsed the way she looked she twice attempted suicide, friends claimed yesterday.

And they said the mother-of-one's drastic surgical enhancement has been driven by extreme hatred of her appearance.

Lea, 35, is said to suffer from body dysmorphia - a mental disorder causing a warped body image leading to "imagined ugliness".

This belief could be what has led her to distort her body to grotesque dimensions.

In all, Lea has spent more than £40,000 on enlarging her breasts to size 30M, liposuction, bottom cheek implants, tattooed lip liner and eyebrows and collagen-filled lips.

Yet friends claim she is still not happy and has not ruled out more operations.

They are also concerned that she is not well enough to be in the Big Brother house.

One said: "Lea should not be in there. She may appear brash and look very confident but she is incredibly vulnerable.

"When I saw how she reacted with the crowd booing her, I felt so sad.

"All her life she has wanted acceptance. Lea is a very lonely person who has not had a proper relationship in years.

"The way she looks means she gets a lot of attention from men but they just ogle her and wouldn't even dream of talking to her.

"She often ends up in catfights and slanging matches with women.

"Besides Lea doesn't want a relationship - she's been so scarred by men.

"Whenever she walks into a room she sucks all the attention in the place and a lot of women don't really like that."

Before being selected for Big Brother, Lea planned to work with independent film maker Philip Braund on a documentary of her life, entitled 100 Per Cent Fake.

He claims she told him: "I have always hated the way I look and could never look in a mirror without turning away in disgust, repulsed by my own image.

"I have always wanted to be someone completely different and surgery changed my life. I am now happier than I have ever been."

Philip claimed: "When I met her last year and we planned to make the documentary, I think she was beginning to acknowledge that she might have body dysmorphia.

"I contacted David Veale at the Priory, who is a world expert on the subject, but the documentary was not commissioned so that never happened.

"From what I know of her, I really don't think she's well enough to be in such a high pressure environment like the Big Brother house. She's very vulnerable."

Friends say Lea's apparent self-loathing began when she ballooned to 22 stone while pregnant with her son 10 years ago.

Another pal claimed: "She felt unattractive and depressed.

"After giving birth she went on a crash diet and she hardly ate anything for months.

"She suffered from bulimia and she went down to six stone. She also lost the enamel on her teeth, which is why she had to have veneers done.

"During this time, she tried to commit suicide twice by taking an overdose.

"She felt she had nothing to live for at that time.

"But, of course, we all tried to help and support her and she did get better.

"Yet she vowed to make changes to her life.

"It was around this time she felt she could create a new woman - the woman she always wanted to be.

"Lea has always loved Pamela Anderson and thought she looked like the perfect woman."

First, Lea had abdominal sculpture surgery to take away the loose skin from her weight gain.

Next to disappear were her 30AA breasts. She has had four enlargement operations and Lea now boasts she has Britain's biggest boobs. She was crowned on the Jerry Springer show last year.

At the time she said: "My new breasts are fantastic. They don't look freaky at all.

"I love them - they're my babies. And people tell me my body is fantastic."