ThisisBigBrother.com - UK TV Forums

ThisisBigBrother.com - UK TV Forums (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/index.php)
-   CBB9 (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=591)
-   -   Gareth: If Gareth is so perfect, why did he marry a woman when he was gay? (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=195286)

The Penguin 24-01-2012 12:41 AM

If Gareth is so perfect, why did he marry a woman when he was gay?
 
I'm not saying he had to come out, I can understand why in the world of rugby he might have felt pressured to stay in the closet but to go as far as marrying a woman is just wrong. You don't HAVE to marry a woman to prove you aren't gay. That's no excuse. He basically ruined someones life by faking a marriage. He could have simply not told people he is gay. Getting married isn't a necessary step to hide your sexuality. He is basically a selfish person. None of the other housemates apart from maybe Natasha had done anything that bad. People seem to forget that.

Bluerang1 24-01-2012 12:44 AM

I guess.

daniel-lewis-1985 24-01-2012 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Penguin (Post 4903103)
I'm not saying he had to come out, I can understand why in the world of rugby he might have felt pressured to stay in the closet but to go as far as marrying a woman is just wrong. You don't HAVE to marry a woman to prove you aren't gay. That's no excuse. He basically ruined someones life by faking a marriage. He could have simply not told people he is gay. Getting married isn't a necessary step to hide your sexuality. He is basically a selfish person. None of the other housemates apart from maybe Natasha had done anything that bad. People seem to forget that.

He got married because he thought he could "change" and wanted to be normal ie: get married to a woman and have kids.

It wasnt selfish it was desperation.

He did not ruin his wifes life and they are still best friends.

Jords 24-01-2012 12:45 AM

Maybe he didnt know? Thought he was bi? Couldnt seperate immense love of his friendship with her and romantic feelings? Thought he could change? Became gay? :worship:

joeysteele 24-01-2012 12:46 AM

Many gay men, particularly in Sport or the public eye marry as only a cover in the main.In the end it clearly cannot work and eventually they have to let their true leanings be known.

It is not wrong though to attempt to appear to have that heterosexual lifestyle but once they realise it is not for them then the trauma to set the record straight must be immense.
Understanding and support is what's needed and clearly Gareth rightly had both once he needed it.

daniel-lewis-1985 24-01-2012 12:47 AM

You have to be selfish sometimes aswell if it means being happy

Locke. 24-01-2012 12:48 AM

Don't know, watch his movie that's coming out staring Mickey Rourke and I guess we'll find out - http://www.mirror.co.uk/mobile/topsp...5875-23595962/

Filming or anything hasn't started yet, would be pretty good if his Big Brother experience was involved somehow, but I guess it will end just after he comes out

The Penguin 24-01-2012 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke. (Post 4903118)
Don't know, watch his movie that's coming out staring Mickey Rourke and I guess we'll find out - http://www.mirror.co.uk/mobile/topsp...5875-23595962/

Filming or anything hasn't started yet, would be pretty good if his Big Brother experience was involved somehow, but I guess it will end just after he comes out

I think I'll pass

aj2463 24-01-2012 12:59 AM

I've been thinking the same. Yes it was hard for him and yes he was brave to come out but no one thinks about his ex-wife even if they are still friends, they went out since high school, its a long time to then turn around and say I'm gay.

The Penguin 24-01-2012 01:08 AM

and coming out at the end of his career isn't exactly as inspiring as coming out during his career
he didn't exactly play that many games as an openly gay player
if some young up and coming rugby player is gay, he isn't exactly going to be instilled with confidence by Gareth coming out when he was an established popular successful player at the end of his career
I think he's a fraud who is given too much credit simply because he's an openly gay rugby player

MTVN 24-01-2012 01:11 AM

Gareth's wife was thankful he told her when he did:

Quote:

When Gareth told me he was gay, it felt like a complete catastrophe, as if my whole world had caved in. But I will always be grateful to him for telling me the truth when he did. He could have waited until I was 50 or 60, when it would have been very hard for me to start over on my own again. But he loved me so much he wanted me to have a second chance, while I was still young enough to take it.
http://sports.rightpundits.com/?p=5881

daniel-lewis-1985 24-01-2012 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Penguin (Post 4903144)
and coming out at the end of his career isn't exactly an inspiring as coming out during his career
he didn't exactly play that many games as an openly gay player
if some young up and coming rugby player is gay, he isn't exactly going to be instilled with confidence by Gareth coming out when he was an established popular successful player at the end of his career
I think he's a fraud who is given too much credit simply because he's an openly gay rugby player

You just answered your own question in relation to him not coming out sooner due to his career.

Hes not a fraud and his wife loves him as does everyone around him even the housemates who leave all say they want him to win.

I dont think he would really give a **** what you think, hes happy and can finally be himself.

iRyan 24-01-2012 02:01 AM

My dad is gay and came out to my mom while they were married. So I understand where Gareth is coming from.

pinkpanther 24-01-2012 04:43 AM

in this case I am a feminist and my only sympathy is for the wife who didnt seem to know about all this and his boyfriends until the book came out. is a bi man cheating on his wife then releasing it in a serialisation of a book any better than a hetrosexual eprson cheating on his wife? is he that much different to tiger woods?

pinkpanther 24-01-2012 04:44 AM

despite this I think alfie has overall been excellent and hes my second favourite to win behind the superstar michael madsen

rSlavenx 24-01-2012 08:57 AM

Don't think thats a fair argument. There could be many factors, he could have been confused, he could have been straight and started to think differently.

Livia 24-01-2012 09:01 AM

This thread says more about the immaturity of the original poster than it does about Gareth's sexuality and marriage. If you have to ask the question, you're not capable of understanding the answer.

The Penguin 24-01-2012 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 4903430)
This thread says more about the immaturity of the original poster than it does about Gareth's sexuality and marriage. If you have to ask the question, you're not capable of understanding the answer.

What are you talking about? My comments are exactly what any reasonable person would say about this situation if it was an unknown person. Just because everyone like him and thinks he's a nice person, they aren't being objective.

If one of your friends told you about a gay person they work with doing the same thing as Gareth did - marrying a woman for 8 years, cheating on her and then making a hollywood film about it, what would your reaction be? I think it's fair to say that most people would see that as completely unacceptable behaviour. So why is there a different reaction for Gareth for doing the exact same thing? Just because you think he's lovely in the BB house? Someones behaviour over two weeks in a televised house is not a true reflection of their personality. Their major life decisions are a true indicator of their character. And on that basis, Gareth is a selfish image obsessed opportunist.

dyfed 24-01-2012 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Penguin (Post 4903103)
I'm not saying he had to come out, I can understand why in the world of rugby he might have felt pressured to stay in the closet but to go as far as marrying a woman is just wrong. You don't HAVE to marry a woman to prove you aren't gay. That's no excuse. He basically ruined someones life by faking a marriage. He could have simply not told people he is gay. Getting married isn't a necessary step to hide your sexuality. He is basically a selfish person. None of the other housemates apart from maybe Natasha had done anything that bad. People seem to
forget that.

This is such a sad message to read,there are many who have tried to go the conventional way and suppress their feelings,he isn't the first to do this and not the last,it is the society we live in that puts pressure on gays to be something that their not,compassion is a wonderful word,I have dear friends who are gays who will be celebrating 30 years together,longer then most marriage's last !!! it isn't a easy road .

Jesus. 24-01-2012 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Penguin (Post 4903103)
I'm not saying he had to come out, I can understand why in the world of rugby he might have felt pressured to stay in the closet but to go as far as marrying a woman is just wrong. You don't HAVE to marry a woman to prove you aren't gay. That's no excuse. He basically ruined someones life by faking a marriage. He could have simply not told people he is gay. Getting married isn't a necessary step to hide your sexuality. He is basically a selfish person. None of the other housemates apart from maybe Natasha had done anything that bad. People seem to forget that.

I think he did it solely and specifically to get to you.

chuff me dizzy 24-01-2012 11:24 AM

A lot of gay people get married ,mainly for their families ,I know 2 gay men who both got married and have sons, Gareth is a good person ,and him trying marriage is not a sin

dyfed 24-01-2012 11:26 AM

Feminist today do nothing to help women...

HBB1508 24-01-2012 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Penguin (Post 4903544)
What are you talking about? My comments are exactly what any reasonable person would say about this situation if it was an unknown person. Just because everyone like him and thinks he's a nice person, they aren't being objective.

If one of your friends told you about a gay person they work with doing the same thing as Gareth did - marrying a woman for 8 years, cheating on her and then making a hollywood film about it, what would your reaction be? I think it's fair to say that most people would see that as completely unacceptable behaviour. So why is there a different reaction for Gareth for doing the exact same thing? Just because you think he's lovely in the BB house? Someones behaviour over two weeks in a televised house is not a true reflection of their personality. Their major life decisions are a true indicator of their character. And on that basis, Gareth is a selfish image obsessed opportunist.

I actually work with a gay man who was married for over ten years and has three lovely children we have spoken in depth about what he went through trying to conform and being trapped living a lie just to please other people - I feel sorry that you think everything should be black and white in life. I have a lot of respect for what Gareth has done it takes guts to end a marriage and announce to the world you are gay (and worse if you are in the public eye and in a very "male" dominated profession). I don't find it unacceptable behaviour nor selfish - I just hope you never have to face a similar situation or if you do people aren't so judgemental about your actions.

Razor 24-01-2012 11:31 AM

What a stupid thread.

daniel-lewis-1985 24-01-2012 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkpanther (Post 4903311)
in this case I am a feminist and my only sympathy is for the wife who didnt seem to know about all this and his boyfriends until the book came out. is a bi man cheating on his wife then releasing it in a serialisation of a book any better than a hetrosexual eprson cheating on his wife? is he that much different to tiger woods?

He is not bi he is gay and yes it is totally different.


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:52 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.