TiBB Divorce: Niamh vs. ukturtle
 

Now as you know, me and Niamh have hit a rough patch. We tried to work it out but her constant barrage of abuse, the black eyes she has given me and the constant jibes about my Cheeky Girls discography has left me no choice but to file for divorce and flee to New Zealand.

We need a settlement sorted out, she can have the house and Scott, I want the potato salad, the car and the leather sofas. Any helpers?

You said you were taking Scott :nono:

I know you wanted him, so you can have him. The potato salad is mine though. Deal with it. :hmph:

nobody wants me

I'll keep you Scott as long as Ben pays your maintenance :pipe:

I'll be taking Scott, the pair of you clearly don't deserve him :nono: You can argue over the rest yourselves :p

Come on Scott, I have some nice cake for you!

-peeks through net curtains and gossips to next door neighbours Firewire and Smithy about it-

Now Scott is pregnant, with what I suspect to be Niall's baby, you can defo have him, and I will pay no maintenance. You should have taught him the rules of sex better. :nono:

I don't like being in the middle of this :sad:

I'm going to live in a children's home instead.

You're the man, that was your job :hmph:

Aww you can stay Lucas, you know you were always my favourite

Oh dear :S

Oh yay.

Will this be meaning I get more presents at Christmas?

sounds very sinister :suspect:

Lucas and Scott, you are welcome in my home. In return you must do all the ironing, and I will give each of you £2.50 pocket money per month.

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...vrQ0PvBEe86AWA

Niamh and Bens' Lawyers discuss the settlement over a drink.....

Piddles will get to the bottom of this problem.

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...87/337/59d.jpg

..You two are meant to be the adults..I cannot believe you are doing this in front of poor Scott...neither of you deserve him...
..and I ate the potato salad anyway

Poor Scott, he'll be broken by that. And now that he is pregnant you are turning your back on him. I hope the neighbours know about this. Also now is the time to tell you I had an affair with our next door neighbour, Greg.

You can have all the presents

Oh good :amazed:

You were always the better parent.

So did I :idc:

Disgraceful!

Niamh, I have taken the Bar exam online, have printed out my diploma, and am at your service to take this despicable man to the cleaners.

Here I am.....

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...FwgQPNrXMODnO3

Greg, the dirty slut bucket. :bored:

That's my boy http://gallery.nekito.net/albums/alb...a_pat_head.gif

I want that couch :pipe: